Money As Wedding Gifts: Tacky Or Practical?

Asking for money as a wedding gift is a controversial topic. While some believe it is rude to request money, others argue that it is becoming more widely accepted, especially among younger generations. In fact, cash funds, commonly in the form of honeymoon funds, are some of the most popular registry items today. There are several ways to politely ask for money as a wedding gift, such as creating a cash fund registry, using a gift registry website, or asking family and friends to spread the word. However, it is generally considered impolite to directly ask for money on wedding invitations.

Asking for money on wedding invites is considered rude

While it is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift, it is frowned upon to do so on your wedding invitations. This is because, traditionally, wedding gifts are not required from guests. Therefore, putting gift information on your wedding invites can come across as greedy.

If you are going to ask for money, there are some etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, you should not ask for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, you can include your wedding website on an insert card within your stationery suite and detail your preferences there. You can also ask your family members and close friends to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts. It is also a good idea to be specific about how you will use the money, as this will help your guests feel more connected to you and your plans. For example, you might be saving for a honeymoon or a down payment on a house.

There are also some creative ways to ask for money instead of traditional wedding gifts. You can create a cash fund wedding registry, where guests can contribute to specific goals, such as a honeymoon fund or a house fund. You can also add gift cards to your registry, allowing guests to give you money to your favourite restaurants, stores, or online brands.

Include a link to your wedding website on the invite instead

Asking for money as a wedding gift is not considered rude. In fact, according to The Knot's 2023 Wedding Registry Study, cash funds are some of the most popular registry items today. However, it is not okay to ask for money on your wedding invitations. Instead, you can include a link to your wedding website on the invite or include an insert card with your wedding website address.

• Create a wedding website that communicates all the important details about your wedding day, such as hotel recommendations and registry information.
• Include a link to your wedding website on your save-the-date cards or enclosure cards. This is a more subtle way to direct guests to your website without including the link directly on the invitation.
• If you choose to add the link to your formal invitation, place it at the bottom. Here is some wording you could use: "For more information, please visit [URL]" or "Kindly RSVP by [RSVP deadline] at [URL]".
• You can also include an RSVP card or details card with your invitation, which can include the website URL and other relevant information.
• If you want to maintain a more formal tone to your invitation, consider adding a separate wedding website card to your invitation suite.

By including a link to your wedding website on your invitation, you can provide guests with easy access to important information and indirectly guide them to your registry, which can include your preference for cash gifts.

Ask family and friends to spread the word

While it is considered rude to ask for money or gifts on your wedding invitations, you can ask your family and friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts. Here are some tips to help you communicate your wishes effectively:

Inform your close circle:

Share your preference for cash gifts with your parents, siblings, wedding party members, and close friends. Explain to them that you would prefer cash and why. For example, you may be saving for a dream honeymoon, planning a kitchen remodel, or wanting to put money towards a new home. Ask them to tactfully spread the word and share this information with guests who may approach them for gift ideas.

Provide context and a personal touch:

When sharing your preference for monetary gifts, it is essential to provide context and a personal touch. Explain to your close circle the reasons behind your preference. For example, you may already have a fully equipped home and don't need any additional homeware items. By providing context, your family and friends will be able to share your wishes in a thoughtful and considerate manner.

Emphasize the impact of monetary gifts:

Let your close circle know how you plan to use the monetary gifts. For instance, if you are saving for a honeymoon, let them know that these funds will contribute to creating memorable experiences during your trip. Guests often feel more inclined to give monetary gifts when they understand the impact of their contribution.

Suggest specific ways to spread the word:

Provide your family and friends with specific suggestions on how they can spread the word. For example, they can mention your preference casually in conversations with guests or offer this information when guests approach them directly for gift ideas. You can also ask them to share your wedding website, where guests can find more details about your preference for monetary gifts and how you plan to use the funds.

Be mindful of varying comfort levels:

Keep in mind that not everyone may feel comfortable sharing your preference for monetary gifts. Respect their boundaries and don't pressure them to spread the word if they are hesitant. You can also suggest more subtle ways for them to communicate your wishes, such as mentioning it to their close friends or family members who are also invited to the wedding.

Remember, it's important to approach this topic sensitively and respectfully. By providing clear and thoughtful guidance to your family and friends, you can effectively spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts without appearing rude or presumptuous.

Set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund

While it may be controversial, it is not considered rude to ask for cash as a wedding gift. Many couples have good reasons for preferring money over physical gifts. For example, couples may already live together and not need homeware items, or they may be expecting a lot of gifts and want to avoid receiving the same gift multiple times.

One option for asking for money is to set up a honeymoon/house deposit/home improvement fund with a gift registry service. Some gift registry services offer the option to set up a gifting fund, where guests can contribute money to a specific purchase the couple is planning to make. In some cases, you may have to register for a few physical gifts as well, but this is still an option worth exploring. Here are some sample phrases you could use to let your guests know about your fund:

• "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter and a house full of furniture, so if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at [details here]."
• "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but, should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash gift to put towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated."
• "We know it's not traditional, it's not the way it's done, but instead of a wedding gift, we'd like a bit of sun [on our honeymoon]!"
• "As we're getting married, we thought it would be great to move into a brand new home—we really can't wait! As wedding gifts are bulky and we're a little short on space, some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!"

Be specific about how you plan to use the cash

It's important to be transparent about how you plan to use monetary gifts from your wedding. This helps your guests feel more connected to you and your plans. If you're in the middle of a big project, such as renovating your home or moving across the country, let your guests know about it on your wedding website. You can also add a more personal touch by sharing the story of how the project got started, how far along you are, and any challenges you've faced along the way.

Your wedding website is a great place to provide details about your plans for the monetary gifts. Add a section for your "registry" and share information about your projects or goals. This way, guests will understand why monetary gifts are your preference. You can even consider creating a cash fund with a specific name, so guests know exactly what they are contributing to and feel more involved in your plans.

If you're planning a honeymoon, you can also create a honeymoon fund as part of your registry. This allows guests to contribute specifically towards your dream trip. You can mention any experiences you plan to put the money towards, such as skydiving or sunset sailing.

Another idea is to create different funds for various goals, such as a house fund, pet fund, or baby fund. This gives guests the option to contribute to the specific causes that resonate with them.

Remember, being transparent and providing details about your plans for the money will make your guests feel more connected and excited to contribute.

Frequently asked questions