The Importance Of Including Last Names On Wedding Invites

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to names. Traditionally, the bride's last name was omitted from the wedding invitation, as it was assumed that her parents were hosting and that her maiden name was implied. However, modern wedding etiquette has evolved, and there are now several factors to consider when deciding whether to include last names.

Firstly, if the bride's parents are hosting and their names are listed on the invitation, the bride's last name can be omitted as it is implied. In the case of divorced parents with different last names, both names are usually included, with the mother's name listed first. If the bride's parents do not share the same last name, it is essential to include the bride's last name to avoid confusion.

Secondly, if the bride and groom are announcing the wedding themselves, or if the bride does not intend to take the groom's last name, it is appropriate to include her last name. This is also relevant if the bride has a different last name from her parents, as clarity is crucial.

Finally, in the case of a casual invitation style, both the bride and groom can use their first and last names, omitting the middle names. Ultimately, the decision to include last names on wedding invitations depends on various factors, including family dynamics, wedding traditions, and personal preferences.

Including the bride's last name

Traditionally, the bride's last name was omitted from the invitation, as it was assumed that her parents were hosting and that she would be taking the groom's last name. However, modern wedding invitations often include the bride's full name, especially if her last name will not be changing after marriage or if she has multiple middle names. Including the bride's last name can also be helpful for larger weddings, where guests may not know the bride by her first name or may know multiple people with the same first name.

If the bride's parents are listed as hosts and share the same last name as the bride, the bride's last name can be omitted. However, if the bride's parents have different last names, including the bride's last name can provide clarity and avoid confusion. For example, if the invitation states, "at the marriage of their daughter Margaret Mary King," guests may assume that the bride's last name is King, not Foster. In this case, including the bride's full name, "Margaret Mary King Foster," would provide clarity.

When including the bride's last name, it is essential to use proper etiquette and spelling. The bride's full name, including her middle name(s) and last name, should be included. Using nicknames or abbreviations should be avoided.

Including the groom's last name

• Formal Invitations: If the wedding invitation is formal and follows traditional etiquette, including the groom's last name is customary. This is especially true if the groom's parents share the same last name and are mentioned on the invitation. By including their shared last name, you indicate that the groom's family is also hosting the wedding.
• Clarity and Recognition: If your guest list includes people who may not know the groom's last name, including it on the invitation can provide clarity and help ensure everyone recognises the groom. This is particularly relevant if you have a large guest list with distant relatives or friends, or if the groom has a different last name from his parents.
• Modern Wording: In modern times, wedding invitations may be worded differently to reflect the couple's unique situation. If the invitation is worded to announce the wedding from the couple themselves rather than the bride's parents, including the groom's last name is appropriate. For example, "Together with their families, Poppy Jane Grimes and Landon Parker Fox request the honour of your presence at their marriage celebration."
• Multiple Hosts: If both sets of parents from the bride and groom's sides are hosting the wedding, it is appropriate to include the groom's last name. This scenario reflects a modern dynamic where both families are equally involved in the wedding celebration.
• Deceased or Foreign Parents: In rare cases, the groom's parents may be hosting the wedding due to specific circumstances, such as the bride's parents being deceased or living in a foreign country. In such situations, including the groom's last name is appropriate, and their relation to the groom is mentioned on the joining line between the bride and groom's names.

It's worth noting that the traditional order of names on a wedding invitation places the groom's name after the bride's name. However, in modern times, this order can be flexible, and the couple can choose to list the bride's name first or even side by side, depending on their preference.

Ultimately, the decision to include the groom's last name comes down to personal choice and the level of formality desired for the wedding invitation.

Including parents' names

Including the names of the couple's parents on their wedding invitations is a great way to recognise them, whether or not they are contributing financially to the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's parents were the only ones included on the invitation, but nowadays, it is becoming more common to see the groom's parents' names as well.

When including parents' names, the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." are typically used, along with their first, middle, and last names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wayne Adamson". However, there are variations to this format that are also commonly used, such as "Thomas and Cynthia Adamson", "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas W. Adamson", or "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas and Cynthia Adamson".

If the parents have divorced, the mother's name is usually listed first, followed by the father's name. For example, "Cynthia Adamson along with Thomas Adamson". If either parent has remarried, the step-parent's name can be included as well: "Mr. and Mrs. Roger Inman and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wayne Adamson".

In the rare case that the groom's parents are hosting the wedding, their names would be listed instead of the bride's parents. This may be the case if the bride's parents are deceased or living abroad. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. James Arthur Fox request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Poppy Jane Grimes to their son Landon Parker".

It is worth noting that including parents' names on wedding invitations is not necessary, especially if the couple is paying for the wedding themselves. However, it is a nice way to honour and recognise the support of their parents.

Including middle names

If you want to stick to tradition, it is customary to include the bride's full name (first, middle, and last) followed by the groom's full name. This is because, traditionally, the bride's parents were the hosts and financial backers of the wedding, so their daughter's full name would be listed first. However, nowadays, it is more common for both sets of parents to contribute financially, so both the bride and groom's last names are often included to avoid confusion, regardless of whether their parents' names are mentioned.

If you are having a semi-formal or casual wedding, you may choose to exclude middle names altogether. This is a personal choice, and it is unlikely that guests will notice their absence. In fact, some people prefer to use only their first and middle names on the invitation, especially if their last name is already well-known among the guests.

Ultimately, the decision to include middle names depends on the level of formality you wish to convey and your personal preference. If you want to maintain a sense of tradition and formality, including middle names is a good option. However, if you prefer a more modern or casual approach, you may opt to leave them out.

Including nicknames

While it is discouraged to use nicknames in your wedding invitations, there are some ways to get around this. If you want to use a nickname, it is best to use a casual invitation style and simply use your nickname. Alternatively, you can use your nickname on one of the enclosure cards to personalise the set, but use your full name on the main card.

If you are the parent of the bride or groom, it is acceptable to use an initial instead of your full middle name. "Senior" and "Junior" may also be abbreviated. (Sr. & Jr.). However, professional titles such as Doctor and military ranks are written in full.

If you are the bride or groom, it is generally recommended that you include your full name, including your last name, on the invitation. This is especially important if your parents do not share the same last name as you or if you have different last names from your future spouse. This will help to avoid any confusion and ensure that all guests are able to recognise you.

However, there are some circumstances in which you may choose to omit your last name:

• Your parents are listed on the invitation and share the same last name as you.
• You are using a casual invitation style and are omitting middle names.
• You are announcing the wedding yourselves rather than your parents.
• You do not intend to take your future spouse's last name or you plan to hyphenate your last name.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to include nicknames or last names on your wedding invitations is a personal one and you should use your best judgement based on your unique situation.

Frequently asked questions