Wedding Shower Etiquette: Invitation Timing Is Everything

There are a lot of considerations to make when sending out wedding and bridal shower invitations. The general consensus is that bridal shower invitations should be sent out between four and eight weeks before the event, with six weeks being the widely accepted sweet spot. This gives guests enough time to organise their calendars and purchase gifts. Wedding invitations, on the other hand, are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding.

In terms of which invitation should be sent out first, opinions vary. Some believe that it is presumptuous to send out a bridal shower invitation, which is often seen as a gift-giving event, before the wedding invitation. Others argue that it is perfectly acceptable to send out bridal shower invitations before wedding invitations, especially if the bridal shower is held several months before the wedding. Ultimately, the decision may depend on the social circle and the couple's preferences.

Wedding shower vs bridal shower

A bridal shower is a party for the bride, whereas a wedding shower is a party for the couple. A bridal shower is traditionally only for women, whereas a wedding shower is gender-inclusive.

The bridal shower is usually hosted by the bridal party, led by the maid of honour. However, in recent years, the bride's family has often taken on the bulk of the bridal shower planning. The wedding shower, on the other hand, is often hosted by the couple's friends, with duties shared between the two sides of the family.

The bridal shower guest list typically includes female members of the wedding party, close family members, and friends. The wedding shower's guest list is gender-inclusive and typically bigger than bridal showers, with the guest count ranging from 30 to 50 guests or more.

Bridal showers usually take place during the day, with a start time between 10 am and 1 pm. In contrast, the timing of a wedding shower is more flexible. While some wedding showers take place during the day, many are evening events centred around happy hour or dinner.

Gift-giving is one of the most important activities at both types of parties. At a bridal shower, guests usually bring gifts from the couple's wedding registry, but they can also bring personal gifts for the bride, such as jewellery, lingerie, or self-care products. Wedding shower gifts, on the other hand, are typically items that the couple can use and enjoy together, such as household items or gift cards.

Both types of showers usually include food, drinks, and games. Bridal showers tend to follow a more structured timeline, with activities such as greeting, food, gifts, cake, and games. Wedding showers are more organic and take the shape of a relaxed social gathering with fluid seating, dinner stations, and passed appetizers.

A couple can have both a wedding shower and a bridal shower, but it is important to have different hosts, different guest lists, and different locations for each event.

Etiquette for guests travelling from out of town

Planning a wedding comes with its fair share of challenges, and one of the most complex aspects is managing guests who are travelling from out of town. Here are some tips to ensure that your out-of-town guests feel welcome, comfortable, and appreciated:

Send Save-the-Dates Early

It is important to notify out-of-town guests as early as possible. Sending out save-the-dates early allows them to make travel arrangements, book flights in advance, and plan any time off from work. This also gives them an opportunity to save money by buying early bird tickets.

Help with Travel Planning

Travelling to a wedding can be costly, so many guests may choose to extend their stay and make a mini-vacation out of it. As the host, it is a nice gesture to provide suggestions for things to do before and after the wedding. Share your local favourites, including dining options, shopping areas, and local attractions. You can include this information on your wedding website or in a welcome package.

Make Them Feel Connected

A great way to ensure your out-of-town guests feel included is to create opportunities for them to interact with other guests before the wedding. This could be a small get-together, a casual bonfire, or a meet-and-greet at a bar the night before the wedding. This allows guests to socialise, get to know each other, and feel more connected to the wedding party.

Provide Transportation and Accommodation Information

It is important to keep your out-of-town guests informed about transportation and accommodation options. If they need to arrange their own transportation, provide clear directions and recommendations for car rental services. If you are providing transportation, share precise departure times and locations. Additionally, communicate hotel block information, including the hotel name, address, phone number, website, booking discount code, and the expiration date for the code.

Share Weekend Event Information

Keep your travelling guests informed about any ancillary events they are invited to, such as the rehearsal dinner, welcome party, or day-after brunch. Provide this information as early as possible so they can arrange their travel plans accordingly. You can include this information on your wedding website or send individual invitations for select events.

Show Your Appreciation

Don't forget to express your gratitude to your guests for taking the time and effort to attend your wedding. You can do this through a personal note, a toast at a pre-wedding event or the reception, or by simply going around to greet each guest and thanking them for coming. It is also a thoughtful gesture to provide welcome gift bags with snacks, water, and other thoughtful items upon their arrival.

Who should send the invitations?

The maid of honour or another close friend usually hosts the bridal shower, and they are responsible for sending out the invitations. It is common for several people, usually bridesmaids, to share the responsibility of hosting the bridal shower. The bride-to-be should talk it over with the bridal shower hostess to find out what they have in mind.

For the wedding invitations, the couple should send them out. The ideal timeline for sending out wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if needed. It is also enough time for the couple to request RSVPs and get a final headcount.

If the couple is sending out save-the-date cards, these should be mailed four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if it is a destination wedding.

When is the best time to send out bridal shower invites?

The best time to send out bridal shower invites is anywhere between four and eight weeks before the event. The six-week mark is a widely accepted sweet spot, with an RSVP deadline of at least two to three weeks before the event. This time frame gives guests enough time to plan and shop for gifts, and it also gives the host enough time to prepare for the final headcount.

It's worth noting that there doesn't seem to be a consensus on whether bridal shower invites should be sent out before or after wedding invitations. Some people believe that it is presumptuous to invite guests to a gift party before announcing the wedding date. On the other hand, others argue that it is typical and more practical to send out bridal shower invites before the wedding invitations, especially if the bridal shower is only a few weeks before the wedding.

To ensure that guests have enough time to plan their attendance and purchase gifts, it is recommended to send out bridal shower invites at least six weeks in advance, especially if there are many out-of-town guests on the list. It is also a good idea to send out "save the date" notices to out-of-town guests and key family members as early as possible, especially during busy seasons or holidays.

What should you include in the invitations?

What to Include in the Invitations

The bridal shower invitation should include all the essential details about the event. Here is a list of what to include:

• The guest of honour's name: The name of the bride-to-be should be included, and if it is a co-ed shower, the bride's partner's name should also be added.
• Date, time, and location: Ensure the date is crystal clear by spelling out the month and include the full address to prevent guests from getting lost.
• RSVP details: Include an RSVP deadline, and the name and contact details of the person guests should contact.
• Name of the host or hosts: Include the name(s) of the host(s) and their contact information.
• Registry information: Include the couple's wedding website or a list of stores where they are registered so guests know where to buy gifts.
• Attire: Specify what guests should wear.
• Theme: If there is a theme, be sure to mention it.
• Special instructions: Include any other relevant information, such as a schedule for the day, parking instructions, or dietary requirements.

The wording of the invitation can be formal, casual, traditional, or modern, depending on the style of the shower. It is also a good idea to double-check the guest list with the bride to ensure that everyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding.

Frequently asked questions