Lyla Dejesus
Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex and contentious issue. While some people prefer to stick to tradition, others are more comfortable with a modern approach. The return address on wedding invitations is usually the couple's address, and there are a few different ways to format this. Traditionally, the return address is written as Mr. and Mrs. followed by the husband's first and last name, but this format has become less common due to its sexist connotations. An alternative traditional format is Mr. and Mrs. followed by both the husband's and wife's first and last names. However, modern approaches include using both partners' first and last names, with the woman's name first, and using gender-neutral titles such as Mx. instead of Mr. and Ms. Ultimately, the choice of how to address wedding invitations depends on personal preference and the level of formality desired.
What You'll Learn
Married Couple, Same Last Name
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options to consider.
The traditional, formal way to address envelopes for heterosexual couples is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". However, this format can be seen as outdated and sexist, as it omits the wife's first name and implies that a woman's identity is tied to her husband's.
A more modern approach is to include both the husband and wife's first and last names, such as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". This format acknowledges both individuals and is more inclusive.
Another option is to use the couple's first names only, followed by their last name, for example, "Thomas and Michelle Warren". This creates a more casual tone and may be suitable for less formal weddings.
It is worth noting that same-sex couples can use either name first in the address.
When addressing the inner envelope, you can drop the first names and use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the last name, or just the first names, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".
- If the couple has children, their names can be included on the second line of the inner envelope, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Warren, Anders and Sue".
- When addressing the return address, you can use your first names only, such as "Thomas and Michelle, 612 Maple Lane, Fairhope, Alabama 36000".
- For a more formal wedding, it is generally recommended to use full names and titles, while for a casual wedding, you may use just first names.
- Always consider the couple's preference and what they may find most respectful and appropriate.
Remember, the most important thing is to be consistent and clear in your addressing, so that your guests feel welcomed and valued.
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Married Couple, Different Last Names
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope should include both partners' full names, including their personal titles. For example:
> Mr. Brian Freeman and Ms. Valerie Warrington
> 612 Maple Lane
> Fairhope, Alabama 36000
If the couple's names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list each name on a separate line, joined by "and".
> Mr. Brian Freeman
> and Ms. Valerie Warrington
> 612 Maple Lane
> Fairhope, Alabama 36000
The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to leave out one or more elements of the formal name format. For example:
> Ms. Warrington and Mr. Freeman
> or
> Brian and Valerie
If you are inviting children to the wedding, you can include their names on the second line.
> Mr. Brian Freeman and Ms. Valerie Warrington
> Anders and Sue
> 612 Maple Lane
> Fairhope, Alabama 36000
If the wife has kept her maiden name, the invitation should be addressed the same way you would address an unmarried couple living together. The names should be listed alphabetically, regardless of gender. For example:
Outer envelope:
> Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan
Inner envelope:
> Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan
> or
> Adams and Sullivan
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Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider.
If the couple shares a last name, a formal approach would be to address them using their titles and full names, for example:
> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mrs. Angela Crosby-Craft
If you wish to be more informal, you can simply use their first names, omitting their last name, for example:
> Marcus and Angela
Alternatively, you can use a combination of their titles, first names, and their shared last name, for example:
> Mr. Marcus and Mrs. Angela Crosby-Craft
It is worth noting that some people may find the use of "Mr. and Mrs." along with the husband's first and last name outdated and sexist, as it seems to imply that the wife has lost her identity by taking her husband's last name. In such cases, it is preferable to use both spouses' first and last names or to omit their first names entirely.
When addressing the outer envelope, it is customary to use the more formal options, while the inner envelope can be more casual.
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Unmarried Couple
When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to include both names on the invitation, either on the same line or on separate lines. If the couple has different last names, list the person you are closest with first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order. Here are some examples:
Contemporary:
- Ed and Kara
- Carlos and Maria
- Mr. Carlos Hamilton and Maria Hamilton
Traditional:
- Mr. Ed Parsons and Ms. Kara Porter
- Mr. and Ms. Hamilton
If the unmarried couple lives at the same address, the format is a little different. In this case, their names should be written on two separate lines without the conjoining "and", as this signifies marriage. Here are some examples:
Contemporary:
- Ed Parsons
- Kara Porter
- Mr. Carlos Hamilton
- Maria Hamilton
Traditional:
- Mr. Ed Parsons
- Ms. Kara Porter
When addressing the outer envelope, you can use titles (Mr., Ms., etc.) and full names. For the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names or just first names.
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Single Male/Female
When addressing wedding invitations to single individuals, the proper prefix should be used. For male guests, use "Mr." and then their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." and then their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." and then their full name.
If the single individual has been given a plus one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, reserve "and guest" for the inner envelope only.
For a single female, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, "Miss" is the acceptable choice. This should be spelled out, not abbreviated. For example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if she is younger than 18)
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen" or "Miss Chen" or "Stephanie"
If a single female has been given a plus one:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18. Otherwise, no title is necessary. For example:
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery" or "James"
If a single male has been offered a plus one:
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"
When addressing a widowed woman, it is common to address the envelope with her married name, but be sure to ask for her preference. A divorced woman may use either "Mrs." or "Ms." depending on whether she goes by her maiden name or married name.
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Frequently asked questions
The traditional way to address a wedding invitation envelope for a married couple is "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith".
If you want to include the wife's name, you can address the envelope as "Mr. [husband's first name] and Mrs. [wife's first name] [shared last name]". For example, "Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith".
If the couple has different last names, you can address the envelope as "Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name] and Mrs. [wife's first name] [wife's last name]". For example, "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Jones".
You can use a more modern or informal style by addressing the envelope as "Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name] and Mrs. [wife's first name] [wife's last name]". For example, "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Mary Jones". This style includes both spouses' first names and is less formal.
If you are unsure about the guests' preferred titles or names, it is best to play it safe by using only their first and last names. You can also use "Mx." as a gender-neutral title if needed.
