Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Invites With Wedding Invitations?

Planning a wedding is no small feat, and the same can be said for the rehearsal dinner that comes before it. The rehearsal dinner is a chance for the couple's loved ones to socialise in a more relaxed setting, and for the couple to ease some pre-wedding jitters. But when it comes to the rehearsal dinner invitations, should they be sent with the wedding invitations or separately?

Who should be invited to a rehearsal dinner?

When it comes to a wedding rehearsal dinner, the guest list is usually reserved for those closest to the couple. This includes immediate family members and the wedding party, such as bridesmaids, groomsmen, the flower girl, and the ring bearer, as well as their spouses or dates. The officiant and ceremony readers are also often invited, along with their partners.

In recent years, some couples have chosen to expand the guest list to include extended family members, out-of-town guests, and even the entire wedding guest list, transforming the rehearsal dinner into a larger welcome reception. This is especially common for destination weddings, where most guests are travelling from out of town.

If you're having a more intimate rehearsal dinner, it's important to be clear about who's invited when addressing the invitations. Only invite the whole Shelton family if everyone in that household is invited. Otherwise, the invitation should be addressed to specific individuals.

When should rehearsal dinner invitations be sent out?

The timing of sending out rehearsal dinner invitations is an important aspect of wedding planning. While it is not mandatory to send out formal invitations, especially to those already in the loop about the rehearsal, it is a good idea to send out invitations to make guests feel welcome and included.

There are differing opinions on when to send out rehearsal dinner invitations. Some sources suggest sending them out three to four weeks before the event, while others recommend mailing them out four to six weeks in advance. It is generally agreed that the invitations should be sent out after the wedding invitations and that they should not be mailed earlier than two months before the wedding.

If you choose to include the rehearsal dinner invitation as an insert within the wedding invitation, this timing becomes especially important. This approach ensures that guests who are invited to both events receive the information together, reducing potential confusion. However, if your rehearsal dinner guest list differs significantly from your wedding guest list, sending separate invitations may be more appropriate.

Regardless of the timing, the host of the rehearsal dinner should be the one to send out the invitations. This ensures that guests receive clear and consistent information about the event, including important details such as timing, location, and RSVP methods.

What should be included in a rehearsal dinner invitation?

When it comes to rehearsal dinner invitations, there are a few key components that should be included to ensure your guests have all the information they need. While the wording can be more casual than wedding invitations, it's important to be clear and concise to avoid any confusion. Here's what to include:

The Host's Name

The host's name is important to include on the rehearsal dinner invitation. Traditionally, the groom's parents host the rehearsal dinner, but nowadays, the couple themselves or any close family members can host the event.

The Couple's Names

The couple's names should be included, and it is customary to use just the first names unless you are having a more formal event, in which case full names can be used.

Date, Time, and Location

The date, time, and location of the rehearsal dinner are essential details to include. Be sure to include the venue name, address, and city or state to make it easy for your guests to find.

RSVP Deadline and Method

It's important to include an RSVP deadline to give your guests enough time to respond and help you plan the event. You can specify a phone number, email address, or both for guests to use. Email is often the easiest method for guests to respond.

Dress Code and Additional Information

Including the dress code on the invitation is helpful for guests to know what to wear. You can also include the couple's wedding website address for guests to access more information if needed.

Optional Details

You may also choose to include details about the type of dinner that will be served or any other relevant information your guests should know.

Simple Wording

"Please join us for a rehearsal dinner honouring the union of Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. RSVP to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date]."

Formal Wording

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith request your attendance at their rehearsal dinner on Friday, March 4, at 7 p.m. at Il Forno Restaurant, 344 Main Street, San Diego, CA. Kindly send all responses to Daniel at [email address or phone number] by [date]."

Remember, it's a good idea to send out rehearsal dinner invitations three to four weeks before the event, either as a separate mailing or included with the wedding invitation suite.

Who should send rehearsal dinner invitations?

The host of the rehearsal dinner is usually the person or people who send out the invitations. Traditionally, the groom's parents host and therefore send out the invites, but nowadays, the couple themselves or another family member may host and send out invites.

The host is also the person who receives RSVPs and has the final say on the guest list. The host's name should be included on the invitation, along with the couple's names, the date, time, location, and RSVP deadline and method.

Rehearsal dinner invitations can be sent via email or as paper invitations. If the rehearsal dinner guest list is quite different from the wedding guest list, it is better to send separate invitations.

What is the seating arrangement at a rehearsal dinner?

Whether or not you need a seating arrangement at a rehearsal dinner depends on the formality of the event and the number of guests. If you're having a casual event, such as a backyard picnic or a self-serve buffet, seating arrangements don't really make sense. However, if you're having a more formal event, such as a sit-down meal in a restaurant's private dining room, then a seating arrangement can be a good idea. It can also be helpful if you're tight on space, as guests tend to spread out more when seating is not assigned.

If you do decide to have a seating arrangement, the couple getting married should have the best seats in the house, ideally with a view of the whole room. Their parents should be seated next to or across from them, with grandparents seated nearby. The wedding party and their dates should also be seated together, and the ring bearer and flower girl should be seated with their parents. For the rest of the guests, it's up to the couple to decide who they want to be seated closer to them. It's a good idea to group people by how they know each other or by common interests.

Frequently asked questions