Who To Invite? Wedding Etiquette For Guest Lists

Planning a wedding involves taking care of a lot of details, from the big to the small, and it can be a stressful process. One of the most important details is the wedding invitation, which not only announces the upcoming nuptials but also sets the tone for the entire event. While modern invitations can be designed to reflect casual events, basic wedding invitation etiquette remains the same. This includes what information should be included, such as the full names of the couple, the date, time, and location of the wedding, and an RSVP date.

One question that often arises is whether members of the bridal party should receive invitations. While it may seem logical to skip sending invitations to the bridal party, proper etiquette dictates that everyone you are inviting should receive a formal invitation, even your closest friends and relatives. Sending invitations to the bridal party ensures they have all the necessary information and allows them to specify any personal requirements, such as dietary restrictions, which can be easily overlooked during the planning process. It also provides them with a memento of the occasion.

Therefore, while the choice of whether to send invitations to the bridal party is ultimately up to the couple, adhering to traditional etiquette and sending invitations to the bridal party is generally recommended to avoid any potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Timing of sending out wedding invitations

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is an important aspect of wedding planning. Here are some key considerations and guidelines to help you navigate this process:

Save-the-Dates:

It is common to send out save-the-date cards before the formal wedding invitations. These are typically sent four to six months before the wedding, giving guests ample time to plan their attendance, especially if they need to make travel arrangements. For destination weddings or weddings during busy travel seasons, sending save-the-dates even earlier (up to a year in advance) is advisable.

Wedding Invitations Timeline:

The recommended timeline for sending out formal wedding invitations is six to eight weeks before the wedding date. This allows your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary arrangements. It also enables you to receive RSVPs sooner, facilitating better planning for your big day.

Invitations for Out-of-Town Guests:

If you have a significant number of guests coming from abroad or planning a destination wedding, it is considerate to provide them with more advanced notice. In such cases, aim to send out invitations around 12 weeks before the wedding date.

RSVP Deadline:

When sending out your invitations, be sure to indicate an RSVP deadline. Generally, setting the deadline about a month before the wedding is advisable. This gives your guests enough time to respond and provides you with the necessary time to finalise details such as seating charts and catering requirements.

Digital Invitations:

While traditional paper invitations are customary, digital invitations can be a viable option, especially if you are concerned about the environmental impact. However, it is essential to give potential attendees ample time to RSVP, regardless of the invitation format.

International Guests:

For international guests, sending their formal invitations along with those of other guests is acceptable. However, it is considerate to give them a heads-up through a phone call, text, or email, ensuring they have ample time to plan their travel.

Holidays and Busy Seasons:

If your wedding is scheduled around a major holiday or during a busy travel season, it is advisable to send out invitations earlier than usual. This ensures that your guests have enough time to plan their attendance during these busy periods.

In summary, the timing of sending out wedding invitations is crucial to ensure your guests have all the necessary information and can plan their attendance. Following the recommended timelines and considering the specific circumstances of your guest list will help ensure a well-organised and enjoyable event for all.

Who to invite to your wedding

Deciding who to invite to your wedding is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. While it is your special day, it is also important to consider the feelings of your loved ones and the standard wedding invitation etiquette.

Who to Invite

Firstly, it is standard etiquette to invite everyone who was sent a 'save the date' card. It is also important to consider the feelings of your bridal party. While they may know the date and location, sending them an invitation is a nice gesture and gives them something to keep as a memento. It also ensures that they have all the information they need, such as the dress code, and can specify their dietary requirements.

Who Not to Invite

You do not have to give every guest a plus-one. If they are not married or in a serious relationship, it is perfectly acceptable to extend a solo invite. If you are having an adults-only wedding, be intentional about how you address your invitations. Stating each guest by name (not "and guest" or "family") will make it clear that the invite is only for those mentioned.

When to Send Invitations

For non-destination weddings, send your invitations six to eight weeks in advance. For destination weddings, send invitations three months in advance.

How to address wedding invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is important to get right. It's the first glimpse your guests will have of your big day and sets the tone for the entire event. Here is a guide to help you address your wedding invitations properly and avoid any faux pas.

The Basics

The invitation should include the full names of the happy couple and the hosts (if different). It should also clearly list the time, date, month, and year of the wedding, as well as the full address of the venue. If you are requesting an RSVP, this should be written in the lower left corner of the invitation.

Formal or Casual?

The tone of your invitation can be formal or casual, depending on the style of your wedding. A traditional wedding ceremony followed by a formal reception calls for more formal phrasing. This can also serve as a subtle hint to your guests that your wedding will be upscale and elegant. On the other hand, if you are hosting a more casual wedding, the language on your invitations can be more relaxed.

The traditional format for the outer envelope is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Mx., Dr., etc.). This works for couples of all genders, whether or not they share a surname, and is still considered foolproof and somewhat traditional. However, if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive or exclusive, you can simply use first and last names.

For married couples with the same last name, use "Mr." and "Mrs." for heterosexual couples, and spell out the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first.

Inner Envelopes

Inner envelopes are more informal, so you can leave out certain elements of the formal name format. For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names should be included on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first.

For single invitees, use "Ms." for women over 18, Miss for those under 18, and "Mr." for men over 18. If the person is under 18, no title is necessary.

If you are inviting families with young children (under 18), the outer envelope should include only the parent(s) or guardian(s) names. List each child's name on the inner envelope. Boys don't need a title until they are 16, while girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss".

Timing

Finally, when it comes to sending out your invitations, the general recommendation is to mail them six to eight weeks in advance of your wedding. For destination weddings, it is advisable to give guests more time by sending invitations three months in advance.

How to deliver wedding invitations

Delivering wedding invitations by hand was a tradition of the distant past, with a bride's servants delivering invitations personally. Nowadays, most people prefer to send invitations by mail, but hand-delivering invites is still an option, especially for those you see often. This can add a personal touch and save on postage costs.

If you choose to hand-deliver your invitations, it's important to meet the recipient face-to-face and actually hand over the invitation. It is not appropriate to leave the invitation in a mailbox or on a desk. It is also worth noting that delivering an invitation in the presence of someone who is not invited may be awkward, so it is best to give it to the guest when they are alone.

When sending by mail, it is recommended to send invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. It is also a good idea to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for RSVPs, with a deadline of around four weeks before the wedding.

The cost of mailing wedding invitations internationally can be more expensive, so it is recommended to send these invitations eight to ten weeks in advance to allow for shipping delays and customs clearance.

What to include in a wedding invitation suite

A wedding invitation suite refers to all the paper goods sent out with the wedding invitation. While the design and phrasing of the invitation can be formal or casual, there are some basics that you should include. These are the full names of the couple, the full names of the hosts, the time, date, month, and year of the wedding, and the full address of the venue. If you are requesting an RSVP, this should be written in the lower left corner of the invitation.

In addition to the invitation, a wedding invitation suite should include a response card and envelope. The response card can also be used to indicate meal choices or RSVP to other wedding events. The envelope should be pre-addressed and stamped for the convenience of your guests.

There are several other optional items that can be included in the wedding invitation suite. These include:

• A reception card, if the reception is at a different location or has additional details you would like to share.
• A direction card, especially if your wedding is in a rural location or guests may have trouble finding the venue.
• A weekend events card, if your wedding includes multiple events such as a welcome party or a post-wedding brunch.
• An accommodations card, if you have guests coming in from out of town, with information on hotel options and transportation.

Frequently asked questions