Kids At Weddings: To Invite Or Not?

Deciding whether or not to invite children to a wedding is a highly debated topic that divides opinion. While some people love the atmosphere and joy that children bring to a wedding, others prefer the idea of a more mature, refined affair. There are several factors to consider when making this decision, such as budget, venue capacity, family expectations, and the potential for chaos or disruption. Ultimately, it is the couple's prerogative to invite whoever they want, but it is essential to be clear and uniform in their decision to avoid causing confusion or tension.

Childcare options

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding can be a tricky question. There are a few options for childcare if you decide not to invite children, or only invite certain children, to your wedding. Here are some ideas for childcare options:

• Hire a babysitter or nanny: You can hire a professional babysitter or nanny to supervise the children during the wedding. This option can be especially helpful if you have a large number of children attending. The babysitter can keep an eye on the children, help with any activities or meals, and ensure they are safe and entertained.
• Parent supervision: Another option is to have parents take turns acting as babysitters for their children. This can be a more cost-effective solution, as it doesn't require hiring additional help. However, it may be inconvenient for parents who want to enjoy the wedding festivities without having to worry about childcare.
• Separate kids' area: If you have the space, you can set up a separate area for the children with activities, movies, or games to keep them entertained. This option allows parents to check in on their children while still being able to enjoy the wedding festivities.
• Off-site childcare: If your wedding venue doesn't accommodate children, you can suggest off-site childcare options for guests. This could include recommending local babysitting services or childcare facilities that guests can utilise during the wedding.
• Involve the children in the wedding party: If you have young relatives or friends attending, you can give them special roles in the wedding, such as flower girls, ring bearers, or junior bridesmaids/groomsmen. This option can make the children feel included and special, and it ensures they are supervised by the wedding party.

Remember, it's important to communicate your childcare plans and expectations clearly to your guests. This will help avoid any confusion or miscommunication, and it will allow your guests to plan accordingly.

Budget

Additional Costs

Children can add significantly to the cost of your wedding. While there may be a discount on children's meals, these can still be expensive, especially if you choose to provide entertainment or activities for them. The number of attendees will impact your venue costs, catering expenses, and overall budget. If your budget is tight, opting for an adults-only guest list may be a sensible choice.

Destination Weddings

If you're planning a destination wedding, it's important to consider the additional costs for guests with children. They may need to arrange childcare or pay for their children's travel and accommodation. As a result, some guests may not be able to attend if they can't bring their children along. Weighing these potential costs and how they might impact your guest list is essential.

Childcare Services

Providing childcare services at your wedding can be a thoughtful touch, but it comes with additional costs. Hiring babysitters, nannies, or creche services can be a significant expense, especially if you want insured and qualified caregivers. If you're inviting many children, you may need to hire multiple caregivers to ensure adequate supervision. This option is ideal for keeping both children and parents happy, but it will impact your budget.

Family Dynamics

When deciding whether to invite children, consider the impact on your guests' expenses. For some guests, paying for childcare on top of their travel and accommodation costs may be a financial burden. They may decline your invitation if they can't bring their children along or if the additional costs are too high. If you have close family members with children, not inviting their kids could cause tension and upset. Be prepared for some difficult conversations and try to show empathy for their situation.

Strategic Invites

If you want to keep costs down but still want to include some children, consider making strategic invitations. You could invite only the children of immediate family members or those in the wedding party. This approach can help reduce the overall number of children while still allowing you to share your special day with your closest family. However, be cautious when inviting some children and not others to avoid causing offence or hurt feelings.

Venue capacity

When it comes to venue capacity, it is important to consider the number of children that will be in attendance. If the venue has limited space, it may be necessary to restrict the number of children invited. In such cases, it is generally considered acceptable to invite only the children of immediate family members, those in the bridal party, and/or those over a certain age. For example, one couple chose to invite only children over the age of 12 due to venue restrictions.

Another option to manage venue capacity is to set an age limit for children to attend. This can be a delicate issue, as some families may have multiple children, with only one or two falling within the invited age range. In such cases, it is important to be consistent and avoid showing favouritism towards certain children.

To avoid any confusion or hurt feelings, it is recommended to be clear and direct in the wedding invitations about which children are invited. This can be done by specifying the names of the invited children on the envelope or by including a note stating that only certain age groups are allowed. It is generally advised against specifying the names of those who are not invited, as this may cause unnecessary offence.

Additionally, it is worth noting that some parents may choose to decline the invitation if they are unable to bring their younger children. This is a factor to consider when deciding on the age limit or number of children invited.

Ultimately, the decision on how to manage venue capacity in relation to children's attendance is a personal one. It is important to weigh the benefits of having children at the wedding against the potential challenges of limited venue space.

Family expectations

It is important to remember that it is ultimately your decision and your rules. If you decide to have an adults-only wedding, be prepared to communicate this clearly and directly to your family members. Explain that your venue may not be child-safe or that you are trying to keep the guest list small. If possible, give them a heads-up before sending out the official invitations. This will allow them to make childcare arrangements in advance.

If you are open to having some children at the wedding, consider inviting only the children of immediate family members and/or the wedding party. This can be a good compromise that allows you to include your closest family while still maintaining a level of control over the number of children in attendance. Be consistent with your rule to avoid offending anyone, and make sure to address the invitations properly, including the names of those who are invited.

Keep in mind that not all family members may be able to attend if their children are not invited. You will need to accept their decision and not make them feel guilty about it. Ultimately, it is a delicate balance between your family's expectations and your own preferences for your special day.

Child-friendly activities

If you're inviting children to your wedding, it's important to keep them entertained. Here are some child-friendly activities to ensure the kids have a great time:

Welcome Bags:

Prepare welcome bags filled with crayons and colouring pages, bubble wands, pinwheels, puzzles, and snacks. The kids will feel special having their own bag, and it will keep them occupied throughout the event.

Movie Night:

Set up an outdoor movie space or use a specific room for a film screening. Provide big pillows and blankets, and don't forget the popcorn! This can be a great wind-down activity before bedtime.

S'mores Bar:

A fun alternative to traditional wedding desserts, a s'mores bar is interactive and enjoyable for all ages. Offer unique options like different chocolates, flavoured marshmallows, and even chocolate graham crackers.

Children's Tent/Room:

For outdoor weddings, set up a children's tent with blankets, pillows, and plenty of activities. Alternatively, you can create a kids' room with dress-up outfits, props, and toys.

Card Station:

Set up a station with blank cards and art supplies like crayons, markers, and coloured pencils. The kids can make wedding cards for the couple, which can then be displayed for everyone to enjoy.

Kid-Friendly Menu:

Chances are, kids won't be fans of the adult menu. Ask your caterer to prepare a separate kid-friendly menu with approachable options that children will enjoy.

Sparklers:

Include the kids in the magic of a sparkler exit. They will feel special participating in the send-off, and it will create lasting memories.

Juice Bar:

Set up a special bar just for kids, with a variety of juices and juice boxes. You can use drink dispensers or a tin cooler to make it more appealing.

Lawn Games:

If your venue has outdoor space, provide classic lawn games such as giant Jenga, Connect Four, hopscotch, lawn bowling, or Twister. Simple options like skipping ropes, kites, and hula hoops are also great.

Arts and Crafts:

Set up a mini area with craft supplies like crayons, stickers, pipe cleaners, and playdough. Wedding-themed crafts like card-making, decorating a cake, or designing a wedding dress will keep little hands busy and creative.

Kid's Table:

If you have several children of similar ages, create a special kid's table with games and entertainment. You can even hire a babysitter or minder to supervise and assist during mealtime.

Scavenger Hunt:

Create a scavenger hunt list with items like a white dress, something blue, or a delicious dessert. Provide disposable cameras so they can snap photos of their finds.

Professional Entertainment:

Hire children's entertainers like magicians, clowns, or balloon modellers to captivate the kids.

Quiet Movie Area:

For children who might find crowds and noise overwhelming, set up a quiet area with comfortable seating and a movie playing. Provide mini bags of popcorn for a special touch.

Pinatas:

Pinatas are a fun activity for all ages. Both kids and adults can join in, and it's a great way to get everyone involved and having fun.

Remember, keeping the children entertained will ensure that both the kids and their parents have a wonderful time at your wedding!

Frequently asked questions