Bridesmaids' Hotel Rooms: Who Pays?

There are a lot of expenses to consider when it comes to planning a wedding, and accommodation is one of the big ones. It's traditional for guests to pay for their own hotel rooms, but what about the bridal party? Well, that depends. If you're requiring your bridesmaids to stay in a specific hotel, it's a nice gesture to pay for their rooms. If you're happy for them to make their own arrangements, it's usually expected that they will pay themselves. If you're requiring your bridesmaids to stay with you the night before the wedding, you should also be prepared to pay for their rooms.

Who traditionally pays for bridesmaids' hotel rooms?

There are varying opinions on who should pay for bridesmaids' hotel rooms. Some people believe that the bride should pay for the bridesmaids' hotel rooms, especially if she requires them to stay in a specific hotel or stay with her the night before the wedding. In these cases, the bride would already be paying for the room, so it would not be expected for the bridesmaids to split the costs. Additionally, if there is a valid reason a bridesmaid cannot afford the room, the bride may choose to cover the cost.

However, it is generally accepted that bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own hotel rooms, as well as other expenses such as their dress, shoes, accessories, and hair and makeup. If the bride is able to, she may choose to cover some of these costs, but it is not required or expected. It is also not uncommon for bridesmaids to share rooms to cut down on costs.

If the bride is not requiring the bridesmaids to stay in a specific hotel, it is common courtesy to provide them with a list of hotel options at different price points and allow them to make their own arrangements. The bride can also reserve a block of rooms at a discounted rate for the bridal party to take advantage of if they choose.

Should I feel guilty if I don't pay?

It is not your responsibility to pay for your bridesmaids' hotel rooms. Traditionally, guests are expected to pay for their own hotel rooms, and this includes the bridal party. If you are requiring your bridesmaids to stay in a specific hotel, then it is good etiquette to pay for their rooms. However, if you are simply recommending a hotel, then it is not necessary for you to pay.

That said, it is a nice gesture to offer to pay for their rooms, especially if you are requiring them to stay in a particular hotel or if you are asking them to stay with you the night before the wedding. If you are unable to pay for their rooms, you could consider other options, such as suggesting they share rooms to reduce costs or look into renting a house nearby for the bridal party to stay in together.

If you are worried about your bridesmaids' budgets, you could also consider covering some of their other expenses, such as hair and makeup, transportation, or a bridesmaids' luncheon.

Ultimately, it is not rude to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their hotel rooms, and you should not feel guilty about it. However, if you are concerned, you can gently let them know about their accommodation options and the associated costs.

What are some alternatives to paying for rooms?

While it is not the norm for brides to pay for their bridesmaids' hotel rooms, it is a very nice gesture if you are able to do so. If you are unable to pay for their rooms, there are several alternatives you could consider. Here are some suggestions:

• Offer a shared room: If your bridesmaids are comfortable sharing a room, you could suggest this as an option to reduce the cost per person. This could be a fun way for your bridesmaids to bond and create memories together.
• Suggest they share with their significant others: If your bridesmaids have partners attending the wedding, they could share a room with them. This would reduce the number of rooms required and the associated costs.
• Provide a list of alternative accommodation options: You could research and provide a list of cheaper accommodation options, such as Airbnbs or guesthouses, that are located near the wedding venue. This gives your bridesmaids the option to choose something that suits their budget.
• Host your bridesmaids at your home: If you have the space, you could offer to host your bridesmaids at your home. This could be a fun sleepover experience and a great way to spend time together before the wedding.
• Offer to cover a portion of the room cost: If you are able to contribute something towards the cost of the hotel rooms, this could be a helpful alternative. You could communicate this offer to your bridesmaids and let them know that you understand the financial burden.
• Discuss with your bridesmaids: Have an open conversation with your bridesmaids about their expectations and your budget constraints. They may not realise the financial burden and be open to covering their own accommodation costs.

When should I expect to pay for my bridesmaids' rooms?

There are a few scenarios in which it would be expected for the bride to pay for her bridesmaids' hotel rooms. If the bride requires her bridesmaids to stay in a hotel, she should pay. This is especially true if the bridesmaids are from out of town and wouldn't otherwise need to pay for accommodation. If the bride wants her bridesmaids to stay with her the night before the wedding, she should also pay. In this case, she's already paying for the room, so she shouldn't expect to split the costs.

If the bride can't afford to pay for her bridesmaids' rooms, she shouldn't feel guilty about asking them to pay for themselves. Bridesmaids are usually close friends or family members, and they know they're expected to pay their own way when they agree to be part of the bridal party. The bride can send out an email asking them to book their rooms, which will make it clear that she won't be paying.

If the bride is able to pay for her bridesmaids' rooms, it's a very nice gesture, and one that they likely won't object to. However, she shouldn't force her bridesmaids to stay in a particular hotel, especially if it's expensive. Instead, she should give them options to find accommodation that suits their budgets.

If the bride is having a destination wedding or most of her guests are from out of town, it's a good idea to book room blocks at a couple of hotel options at different price points. This will help her guests save money, and it's also helpful for the bride to keep track of how many rooms she needs.

What are the potential costs of paying for bridesmaids' rooms?

There are several potential costs to consider when deciding whether or not to pay for your bridesmaids' hotel rooms. Firstly, the financial burden on you as the bride can be significant, especially if you have multiple bridesmaids and they are staying for more than one night. The average hotel room costs around $100 per night, so for a bridal party of 4-5 bridesmaids, you could be looking at a cost of over $2000. This expense can quickly add up and put a strain on your wedding budget.

Another cost to consider is the opportunity cost of not paying for their rooms. If you choose not to pay, your bridesmaids may feel financial stress, especially if they are already incurring other expenses such as travel costs, dresses, and gifts. Additionally, if you require your bridesmaids to stay in a specific hotel or location, you may need to pay for their rooms to avoid adding further financial burden on them.

It is also important to consider the potential cost of damaged relationships with your bridesmaids. If they are expecting you to pay for their rooms and you do not, it could create tension and negatively impact your friendship. On the other hand, if you feel obligated to pay but cannot afford it, you may need to communicate this sensitively to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

Lastly, there is the potential cost of losing out on a free room for yourself. In some cases, hotels may offer a complimentary room to the bride based on the number of rooms booked under the wedding block. So, if you decide to pay for your bridesmaids' rooms, you may reach the threshold for a complimentary room, which could offset some of the costs.

While it is not considered rude or unusual for bridesmaids to pay for their rooms, it is essential to carefully consider your financial situation, the potential costs, and the impact on your relationships when making this decision.

Frequently asked questions