Asking Bridesmaids: The Perfect Timing For Your Wedding

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of getting engaged and planning a wedding. However, it's important to consider the timeline for doing so. While it's tempting to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids as soon as you get engaged, it's generally recommended to wait until closer to the wedding date. This is because plans can change, and you may end up with more or fewer bridesmaids than you initially thought. It's also important to give your bridesmaids enough time to plan and prepare, especially if they need to travel or take time off work. The recommended timeline for asking bridesmaids is anywhere between 8 months to a year before the wedding. This gives the bridesmaids enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses, while also allowing the bride to have a better idea of the wedding details and the number of groomsmen.

Ask 11-8 months before the wedding

Asking your bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding celebration is one of the most exciting parts of getting engaged. However, it's important to give this decision some careful thought and not rush into it. Here are some reasons why asking your bridesmaids 11 to 8 months before your wedding is a good idea:

Finalising the Number of Bridesmaids:

It's essential to determine how many bridesmaids you want before you ask them to be a part of your special day. This number can depend on various factors, such as the size of your wedding or the number of groomsmen. By the 11-month mark, you'll have a clearer idea of your wedding plans and can make an informed decision.

Giving Them Adequate Time to Plan:

Asking your bridesmaids 11 to 8 months in advance gives them ample time to plan and prepare. They can start thinking about expenses, saving up, and discussing bachelorette party ideas. This lead time ensures they can be a part of your wedding without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

Allowing for Changes in Relationships:

Life is unpredictable, and relationships can evolve over time. Asking your bridesmaids 8 to 11 months in advance reduces the risk of asking someone too early and potentially regretting it later due to changes in your relationship. This timeline allows for more certainty and helps ensure that the people you ask are those you want by your side on your wedding day.

Providing Essential Wedding Details:

When you ask your bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding, it's essential to communicate your expectations and provide them with as many wedding details as possible. By the 11-month mark, you'll have a clearer vision of your wedding, including the bridal shower and bachelorette party plans. This information will help your bridesmaids feel more prepared and excited about their role.

Sending Save-the-Dates:

Save-the-dates are typically sent out 8 months before the wedding. Asking your bridesmaids by this time, or even earlier, ensures that they are well-informed and can plan their attendance. It also gives them a chance to provide input on important bridesmaid-related questions, such as their preferred shoes or any bachelorette party ideas they may have.

Don't ask without a wedding date

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids is an exciting part of wedding planning. However, it's important to avoid asking anyone to be a bridesmaid before you have an official wedding date. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't ask your bridesmaids before finalizing your wedding date:

Holding Their Calendar Hostage

If you ask your friends to be bridesmaids before setting a date, you're essentially holding their personal calendars hostage. They won't be able to plan their own schedules or make other commitments until you provide them with a date, which isn't fair to them. It's important to respect their time and commitments by providing them with a date first, so they can plan appropriately.

Changes in Relationships

Relationships can change over time, and this is something to consider when choosing your bridesmaids. Asking your friends to be bridesmaids two years in advance, or even a year before the wedding, may seem like a good idea at the time. However, a lot can happen in that time, and your relationships may not be the same as they are now. Waiting until closer to the wedding date gives you a better understanding of who you want by your side on your special day.

Providing Essential Information

When asking someone to be your bridesmaid, it's important to provide them with essential information, such as the expected expenses, dress code, and their responsibilities. If you don't have a wedding date yet, you may not have all the necessary details to give them. This lack of information can lead to uncertainty and stress for your bridesmaids, who won't know what to expect or how to plan.

Avoiding Regret and Drama

Many brides have shared their experiences of regretting choosing their bridesmaids too early. Asking your friends to be bridesmaids before finalizing a date can lead to drama and life changes that may affect your relationships. By waiting until you have a date, you give yourself time to think carefully about who you want in your bridal party and avoid potential conflicts or regrets.

Allowing Time for Planning

Asking your bridesmaids after setting a date allows them to plan effectively. They can consider their budgets, the time commitment involved, and any other responsibilities they may have. This ensures that your bridesmaids are fully committed and able to participate in all the wedding festivities, including the bachelorette party and purchasing their dresses.

In conclusion, it's important to wait until you have an official wedding date before asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. This ensures that you provide them with essential information, respect their time, and avoid any potential regrets or drama. It also allows your bridesmaids to plan effectively and be fully committed to their role in your special day.

Wait 60 days after getting engaged

It is important to wait at least 60 days after getting engaged before asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. This is because, in the excitement of a new engagement, plans can change. You may initially want 12 bridesmaids, but as you start to plan your wedding, you may decide that 12 is too many and three is a more suitable number. You may also want to wait to see how many groomsmen your fiancé wants to include in the wedding party. If your wedding is two years away, you should wait even longer before asking your bridesmaids.

Asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding too early can lead to regret and put a strain on your friendships. You might find that your relationships change over time, or that you or your bridesmaids have major life changes, such as a baby or a move, that affect their ability to commit to the role. It is also unfair to hold their calendars hostage until you have finalised your wedding plans. Therefore, it is a good idea to wait until you know your wedding date before asking your bridesmaids.

The best time to ask your bridesmaids is between one year and eight months before your wedding. This will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses. Asking your bridesmaids at this time will also allow you to ask them essential questions, such as what shoes they prefer to wear and if they have any bachelorette party ideas. It will also give them time to understand the expenses involved in being a bridesmaid and the traditional wedding party duties.

If you are having a short engagement, it is still a good idea to wait at least a third of the way through your planning process before asking your bridesmaids. This will give everyone plenty of time to keep their calendars free and set their budgets.

Discuss expectations and budget

When it comes to asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding, timing is important. It's recommended that you determine who your bridesmaids will be 11 months to eight months before the wedding. This gives your chosen bridesmaids enough time to plan and budget for the expenses that come with being a bridesmaid. These expenses can include the cost of the bridesmaid dress, shoes, and accessories, bridal shower, bachelorette party, travel, wedding accommodations, and wedding gifts. Being a bridesmaid is a significant financial commitment, so it's essential to have honest and transparent conversations about money early on.

To set clear expectations and budget guidelines for your bridesmaids, consider hosting a kickoff brunch or gathering. This is an opportunity to discuss key topics, such as the wedding location, bachelorette party preferences, and colour schemes. It's also a chance for your bridesmaids to bond and get to know each other. During this meeting, be considerate of their finances and communicate your expectations clearly. Be mindful that your bridesmaids are not made of money, and be respectful of their budget limitations.

Remember, every wedding is unique, and there are no steadfast rules for what bridesmaids should pay for. However, by having open and honest conversations about money and budgeting, you can ensure that everyone is on the same page and avoid potential misunderstandings or resentment. It's also essential to be flexible and understanding if a bridesmaid needs to back out of an event due to financial constraints.

To help your bridesmaids save money, consider providing them with a variety of options for their dresses and accessories. Allowing them to choose their outfits can open the door to more affordable and reusable options. Additionally, be mindful of their travel expenses and try to coordinate discounted group rates for accommodations.

By discussing expectations and budget considerations early on, you can ensure that your bridesmaids are well-informed and able to plan their participation in your wedding accordingly.

Be prepared for things to change

Asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding celebration is an important step in your wedding planning journey. While it's an exciting part of the process, it's also a decision that requires careful thought and consideration. It's essential to be prepared for things to change, as life is unpredictable, and circumstances can shift over time. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Flexibility is key: Understand that your initial plans may evolve. For example, you might initially want 12 bridesmaids, but as you plan your wedding and consider the size and logistics, you may decide to have a smaller group. Be open to adjusting your vision and remain flexible throughout the process.

Friendships evolve: Recognise that friendships can change over time. While you may have a close group of friends now, dynamics may shift, and it's important to be prepared for this possibility. Waiting to ask your bridesmaids until closer to the wedding date can help mitigate this risk and ensure that your bridal party reflects your current relationships.

Life happens: Life is full of surprises, and your bridesmaids' circumstances may change unexpectedly. They may experience major life events such as having a baby, moving to a new location, or dealing with personal challenges that impact their ability to fulfil their duties. Be understanding and empathetic if these situations arise, and be ready to adapt your plans accordingly.

Manage expectations: When asking your bridesmaids, communicate your expectations clearly, but be prepared to adjust them if needed. Discuss their roles and responsibilities, and any financial commitments required. However, understand that their ability to contribute may change due to unforeseen circumstances, and be open to finding solutions together.

Stay organised: Keep track of deadlines and important dates to ensure your bridesmaids have enough time to plan and prepare. Share your wedding date and any other relevant information as early as possible. This will allow them to assess their availability and make any necessary arrangements, such as requesting time off from work or saving funds for travel or other expenses.

By embracing flexibility, understanding that friendships and circumstances can change, managing expectations, and staying organised, you'll be well-prepared to navigate any changes that may arise during your wedding planning journey. Remember, it's all about adapting and ensuring that your special day is surrounded by the people who are most important to you at that moment.

Frequently asked questions