Rescheduling Your Wedding: Should You Change The Date?

There are many reasons why someone might consider moving their wedding date. From accommodating the schedules of those closest to you, to competing priorities in your personal and professional life, or even the desire to get married sooner rather than later. Whatever the reason, it's important to remember that this is your wedding, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

Weighing the pros and cons of postponing

Postponing a wedding can be a difficult decision to make. Here are some pros and cons to consider if you're thinking about postponing your wedding:

Pros:

• More time to plan: With a postponed wedding, you'll have additional time to plan and prepare for your big day. This can help reduce stress and allow you to make more informed decisions.
• Increased vendor availability: A postponed wedding may open up opportunities to book vendors that were previously unavailable. This includes photographers, venues, wedding planners, and musicians.
• Financial savings: Postponing the wedding can provide more time to save money and potentially secure better deals from vendors. This is especially beneficial if you're facing a tight budget.
• Guest convenience: If you have guests travelling from afar, postponing the wedding may allow them to make more convenient travel arrangements. It also gives your guests more time to adjust their plans.
• Safety considerations: In the context of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, postponing the wedding can help ensure the health and safety of you, your partner, and your guests. This is especially relevant if your original plans didn't account for safety measures.

Cons:

• Grief and disappointment: Changing your wedding date can lead to feelings of grief and sadness, as you may have been looking forward to and planning for the original date.
• Vendor payments: Depending on the timing of your postponement, you may still be responsible for vendor payments, which can result in additional costs or complications. It's important to review your contracts and discuss any changes with your vendors.
• Guest inconvenience: While some guests may appreciate the extra time, others may have already made travel plans or taken time off work. Last-minute changes can be disruptive, especially for those with busy schedules or limited flexibility.
• Loss of venue: If you've already booked a venue, there is a possibility that it may not be available for your new desired date. This may require you to find an alternative venue or adjust your plans further.
• Emotional rollercoaster: Postponing the wedding can be an emotional rollercoaster, with feelings of uncertainty, stress, and disappointment. It's important to communicate openly with your partner, family, and friends throughout this process.

Communicating with your partner, guests, and vendors

First things first: It’s okay to feel upset about having to change your wedding date. You may have spent months or even years planning for your big day, and it can be hard to come to terms with the fact that things are changing. Give yourself time to process your emotions before you start making moves to let your vendors, wedding party, and guests know about the change.

When you're ready, here are some steps you can take to communicate the change of date:

Communicating with your partner

It's important to be on the same page as a couple. Discuss your health and safety boundaries for the wedding and decide on a new date together. If your parents or others are financially involved, talk to them as well, and discuss how the change might impact the budget.

Communicating with your guests

Let your guests know about the change as soon as possible. Send a quick email, text, or physical card to share the updated information. Be sure to include a personal note wishing your guests well. You can also update your wedding website and request that guests RSVP again. If your wedding is soon, sending a mass email or text is probably the easiest and safest way to reach everyone.

"We changed our date and can’t wait to celebrate! Please join us on our new date, [new date]."

"Love cannot be cancelled! We are getting married a little later than planned on [new date]."

"What matters is our love—not the date! Due to the current situation, we are postponing our wedding to [new date]. We are looking forward to celebrating with all of you!"

Communicating with your vendors

Reach out to your venue, vendors, and suppliers to let them know about the change. Keep in mind that a postponement will impact them as well, and try to work together to find a solution. Be polite and professional as you explain your situation and concerns. Here's a template you can use:

"We are reaching out because we have made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding, set to take place on [date]. We recognize we had a contract in place with your team to provide [service]. We’d like to set up a time to discuss next steps and alternative dates you may have available. Thank you for working with us during this challenging time, and we hope to speak soon."

Dealing with the emotional impact

It is completely normal to feel a sense of grief and loss when you have to move your wedding date. You might feel a mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, denial, and depression. You have likely spent months or even years planning your wedding, and now it feels like a wrench has been thrown into all your hard work. It is important to acknowledge and accept these emotions rather than trying to suppress or ignore them. Here are some ways to deal with the emotional impact of moving your wedding date:

• Allow yourself to grieve: Recognize that it is normal to feel sad and disappointed about having to move your wedding date. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and take time to process them.
• Focus on the positive: While it is important to acknowledge your feelings of loss, try to shift your focus to the positives of the situation. For example, you now have more time to plan and can book previously unavailable vendors.
• Stay connected with your partner: Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial during this time. Talk about your feelings and work together to create a safe space where you can express your emotions without judgment.
• Seek support: Don't be afraid to reach out to your support network, including family and friends, and even a therapist if needed. They can provide comfort, encouragement, and help you navigate this challenging time.
• Practice self-care: Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as exercising, meditating, or spending time in nature. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and practicing gratitude.
• Plan something fun: Look forward to the future by planning something exciting for the weeks or months following your new wedding date. This could be your honeymoon, a move, or fun dates and activities with your partner.
• Reflect on your relationship: Use this time to focus on your relationship and the love you share with your partner. Remember why you decided to get married in the first place and celebrate the strong foundation you have built together.
• Stay organized: Create a new checklist and timeline for your new wedding date. Having a plan and a sense of control can help reduce stress and make you feel more prepared for the future.
• Be flexible: Remember that things may not always go according to plan, and that's okay! Be prepared to adapt and make changes as needed, knowing that you are doing what is best for you and your partner.
• Celebrate the small moments: Add fun and joy to your everyday life, whether it's making dinner at home more special or taking a day trip to a new place. Focus on the little things that bring you happiness and security in your relationship.

Managing wedding items with the original date

If you're choosing to stick to your original wedding date, there are a few things you can do to ensure the day goes as smoothly as possible. Firstly, it's important to be organised and have a clear timeline for the day. Make sure you have all the necessary items and that your vendors are all aware of the schedule. It's also a good idea to have a backup plan in case of any last-minute changes or issues.

On the day, it's crucial to stay calm and relaxed. Remember to take care of yourself and your partner, and don't be afraid to delegate tasks to your wedding party or other helpers. Here are some essential items you should have on hand to manage any unexpected issues:

• Blotting sheets for oily skin or makeup touch-ups
• Cough drops or throat lozenges for the ceremony
• Dry shampoo and dry conditioner to tame frizzy hair
• Feminine hygiene products
• Glue or glue dots for any quick repairs
• Tissues for happy tears
• Lighter for sealing ribbons or plastic bags
• Clear nail polish for re-gluing gems or sealing ribbons
• Painkillers like ibuprofen for unexpected headaches
• Straws to keep lipstick intact
• Breath mints or strips to stay fresh
• Cotton pads for removing nail polish or makeup
• Safety pins for quick clothing adjustments
• Crochet hook if your dress has buttons at the back
• Hand sanitiser to keep hands clean
• Pepto Bismol or Tums for any tummy troubles
• Poo-pourri for a pleasant bathroom experience
• Baby powder or anti-chafing powder to stay sweat-free
• Tweezers for brow touch-ups or removing splinters
• Floss or floss picks for removing food from teeth or dress adjustments
• Sewing kit with scissors for last-minute repairs
• Band-Aids and a first aid kit for blisters or accidental cuts
• Eye drops, especially if you wear contact lenses
• Deodorant, spray type allows sharing without awkwardness
• Stain stick or pen for removing stains from formal wear
• Static and wrinkle spray, especially for chiffon dresses
• Hydration drink mix, great for hangovers or pre-wedding nerves

The logistics of changing the date

Changing your wedding date can be a tricky and stressful process, especially if you've already booked your venue and suppliers, and sent out your save-the-dates and invitations. However, it doesn't need to be overwhelming. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate the logistics of changing your wedding date:

• Decide whether to postpone or cancel: Changing the date of your wedding is generally easier than cancelling it outright. If you cancel, you may lose all your deposits, whereas if you postpone, your venue and suppliers will likely be more accommodating. They may not even charge you any fees, provided that they are available on the new date.
• Choose the new wedding date: Contact your wedding venue and work with them to find a new date that suits both parties. If you're changing the date at short notice, you may have to be flexible and consider different days of the week, months, or even years.
• Inform your wedding party: Before sending out official "change the date" announcements, let your wedding party know about the change in person, if possible. Hopefully, they will all be available on the new date, but if not, you may have to compromise or find a new date that works for everyone.
• Contact your wedding suppliers: Get in touch with all your wedding suppliers, such as your caterer, florist, photographer, entertainment, etc. Unfortunately, some of your chosen suppliers may already be booked on your new date, and you may have to cancel their services and find alternatives.
• Inform your employer: If you've booked time off work for your wedding, you'll need to reschedule your holiday dates. Inform your employer about the change as soon as possible and request to switch your time off to the new date.
• Contact your wedding insurer: If you have wedding insurance, inform your insurance company about the date change so that your policy will cover the correct dates going forward. Check with them to see if you can get reimbursed for any money lost due to the date change, especially if it is due to illness or other special circumstances.
• Send out "Change the Dates": It's important to inform your guests about the change as soon as possible, especially if they have already booked travel or made special arrangements. "Change the Dates" announcements can be sent digitally or as physical cards, and they provide a stress-free way to communicate changes to your guests.
• Re-book hotels and honeymoon: If you've already booked accommodation or your honeymoon, you'll need to rearrange these as well. Be prepared for potential financial consequences and increased rates for changing or cancelling your bookings.
• Book new suppliers, if necessary: If any of your original suppliers are unavailable on the new date, you'll need to find alternatives. You may have to be flexible and make some sacrifices, but remember that your wedding will still be perfect and special.
• Get excited for the new date: Once all the logistics are sorted and your guests have been informed, it's time to get excited! Focus on the fact that you're marrying the love of your life, and don't stress too much about the details.

Frequently asked questions