Wedding Guest List Dilemma: College Friends Or Not?

When it comes to deciding whether or not to invite college friends to your wedding, there are several factors to consider. Firstly, it's important to evaluate the nature of your current relationship with them. If you have lost touch or grown apart from certain college friends, it may not be necessary to include them on your guest list, especially if you're aiming for an intimate celebration. On the other hand, if you still maintain close friendships with your college peers and have the budget and venue capacity, inviting them can add to the joy and excitement of your special day.

Budget and venue capacity

The number of people you invite will significantly influence how much your wedding costs. This is because you pay per person at most venues, and those costs add up quickly. If you're working with a tight budget, you may need to keep your guest list small. On the other hand, if money is no object, you can afford to invite a larger number of guests, including those you may not be particularly close with, like college friends.

When deciding on your budget, it's essential to consider the type of wedding you want and the venue you plan to use. Susan Norcross of The Styled Bride recommends allocating about half of your budget to the venue and catering. This will give you a clear idea of how many people you can afford to invite. It's also crucial to choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate your desired guest list. If you already have your heart set on a particular location, you may need to adjust the number of invitations accordingly.

Additionally, it's worth noting that some venues have a maximum capacity, so ensure your guest list doesn't exceed this number.

In conclusion, when deciding whether to invite college friends to your wedding, carefully consider your budget and venue capacity. These factors will help determine the size of your guest list and ensure you don't exceed your financial or spatial limits.

Relationship status

When deciding whether to invite college friends to your wedding, the most important factor to consider is your current relationship with them. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How long have you been friends with them, or known them?
• How has your relationship changed over the years?
• How often do you keep in touch, and do you talk on a regular basis?
• Will this person likely be in your life 10-20 years down the line?

If you have drifted apart from your college friends and no longer consider them close friends, you are not obligated to invite them to your wedding. This is especially true if you have not been invited to their wedding or if it has been several years since you last saw each other. However, if you are inviting other college friends or a large number of guests, it may be appropriate to extend the invitation to maintain social harmony and avoid any potential hurt feelings.

Ultimately, the decision to invite college friends to your wedding depends on the nature of your current relationship with them, the size of your wedding, and your personal preferences. If you are unsure, it may be helpful to discuss the matter with a close friend or family member who can provide an outside perspective.

Whether you've lost touch

Firstly, it's important to evaluate the nature of your relationship with your college friends. Ask yourself how long you've known them, how your relationship has evolved over time, and how often you keep in touch. If you still consider them close friends and want to maintain these friendships, then inviting them to your wedding could be a way to strengthen these connections. On the other hand, if you've drifted apart and no longer feel a strong bond, it may be more appropriate to exclude them from your guest list.

Another factor to consider is the size and intimacy of your wedding. If you're planning an intimate celebration with only your closest friends and family, it may be understandable to exclude some college friends. However, if you're inviting a large number of guests and have the budget and venue capacity, including your college friends could add to the festive atmosphere.

Additionally, it's worth reflecting on whether you were invited to their weddings. While it's not a requirement to reciprocate an invitation, it could be a factor in your decision-making process. If you were invited to their wedding recently and attended, it might be considerate to include them on your guest list. However, if their wedding was several years ago or you couldn't attend due to other commitments, the obligation to reciprocate may be less pressing.

Finally, consider the potential impact on your friendship if you choose not to invite your college friends. If you feel that excluding them would significantly damage your relationship or cause social consequences, then you may want to reconsider. However, if you believe your friendship can withstand this decision and you're comfortable with the possibility of drifting further apart, then not inviting them could be an option.

Ultimately, the decision to invite college friends to your wedding depends on various factors, including the nature of your relationship, the size of your wedding, social obligations, and the potential impact on your friendship. It's important to weigh these considerations and make a choice that aligns with your values and priorities for your special day.

Whether you want children at your wedding

Whether or not you want children at your wedding is a huge decision and it's not something that you should take lightly. Spend time discussing it with your partner and decide together what works best for the two of you and your respective families.

If you're not having a child-friendly wedding, it's absolutely acceptable to have an adults-only wedding. Remember that it's your wedding and your rules, so don't be afraid of telling your loved ones there will be no kids at your wedding. If you're worried about offending your guests, it's harder to restrict children if your wedding is during the daytime or is very casual. It's also more challenging if your wedding is a destination wedding, as guests with children will have to make plans for childcare ahead of time, which can be especially difficult.

If you do decide to have an adults-only wedding, the best way to communicate this to your guests is by being direct and honest. Address your wedding invitations properly and include an adults-only wedding announcement on your wedding website. Being clear and to the point from the start decreases the chance of families accidentally bringing their kids and gives guests more time to find a babysitter.

If you're happy to have children at your wedding, you'll need to take your youngest guests' needs into consideration. You may want to hire a children's entertainer or provide tabletop activities during the reception, such as puzzles or colouring sheets. You could also work with your catering team to create a plain and simple kid-friendly menu.

Whether you want a small or large wedding

Another factor is the venue. If you already have a location in mind, consider how many people it can accommodate. You may need to adjust your guest list or look for alternative venues if your desired location cannot comfortably fit all your guests.

Additionally, think about the type of wedding you want. Do you envision an intimate celebration with only your closest loved ones, or do you want a grand party with all your friends, relatives, and acquaintances? A smaller wedding allows for a more personalized and intimate vibe, while a larger wedding provides opportunities for more connections and a bigger celebration.

Finally, reflect on your relationship with your college friends. Are they still an important part of your life, or have you drifted apart? If you're no longer close and don't anticipate a future with them, it's understandable to exclude them from your wedding. However, if they are still meaningful friends, consider including them, especially if you're having a larger celebration.

Ultimately, the decision to invite college friends depends on your personal preferences, budget constraints, venue choices, and the vision you have for your special day.

Frequently asked questions