Wedding Guest Lists: Inviting Plus Ones And Guests

When it comes to wedding invitations, the question of whether to include a plus-one for single guests is a tricky one. On the one hand, you want your guests to feel comfortable and have the option to bring a date. On the other hand, you may be working with limited space and a tight budget. So, what's the etiquette on adding and guest to your wedding invitations?

The pros and cons of including '+1' on invitations

The Pros and Cons of Including "+1" on Invitations

There are various factors to consider when deciding whether to include "+1" on your wedding invitations. Here are some advantages and disadvantages to help you make an informed decision:

Pros:

• It is a considerate gesture towards single guests, giving them the option to bring a companion and not feel alone at the event.
• It can make your single guests feel valued and respected, especially if they don't know many other attendees.
• If your guests are travelling from out of town, a "+1" can make the trip more enjoyable and provide them with company during their stay.
• In some cases, it may be appropriate to allow "+1" for practical reasons, such as childcare, or to ensure your guests' comfort and convenience.

Cons:

• Including "+1" can significantly increase your guest list, which may impact your budget and venue capacity. Each additional guest means extra costs for food, drinks, and other wedding expenses.
• You may not know the "+1" guests personally, and they could be almost strangers attending your special day.
• Managing RSVPs can become more challenging, especially if guests assume they can bring more than one additional person or if they bring uninvited guests.
• If your wedding has limited space or a specific theme, such as an intimate ceremony or a destination wedding, including "+1" may not be feasible or could complicate the planning process.
• Some guests might feel obligated to bring someone, even if they don't have a preferred companion, which could lead to random dates or guests who don't know anyone else at the wedding.

Ultimately, the decision to include "+1" on your wedding invitations depends on your personal preferences, budget constraints, and the overall vision for your wedding day. It is essential to weigh the pros and cons carefully and decide what works best for you and your partner.

How to address married couples with different surnames

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different surnames, there are a few options to consider. Here are some guidelines to help you navigate this situation:

• Outer envelope: It is recommended to write the names of the couple on the same line, with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, you can list them separately. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• Inner envelope: For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or refer to them as "Ms." and "Mr." followed by their surnames. For instance, "Maria and David" or "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez".
• Avoid assumptions: Do not assume that the wife has changed her surname or that she prefers the title "Mrs.". It is always best to ask the couple about their preferred names and titles before addressing the invitations.
• Separate lines: Some sources suggest that writing each name on a separate line can be clearer, especially when dealing with long surnames. For example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens

Mr. David Estevez

Address

City, State, Zip Code"

• Order of names: If you are inviting a couple with different surnames, and you are equally close to both of them, it is recommended to list their names in alphabetical order. However, if you are closer to one of them, you can list that person's name first.
• Unmarried couples with different surnames: The same guidelines apply as for married couples.

Now, regarding the use of "and guest" on wedding invitations, it is generally recommended to avoid this phrase on the outer envelope. Instead, it is more appropriate to include the names of both individuals if you know them. If you are unsure about the guest's name or are allowing someone to bring a casual date, you can use "and guest" on the inner envelope.

How to address unmarried couples

When it comes to addressing unmarried couples on wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to go about it, depending on your preference and the formality of your wedding. Here are some options:

Formal Addressing

If your wedding is more on the formal side, you can address unmarried couples in the following ways:

• "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee" (for the outer envelope) and "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda" (for the inner envelope). Listing the person you are closest to first is standard.
• "Mr. John Basher and Mr. Andy Donnelly" for a same-sex couple, with the names written in alphabetical order by last name.
• "Ms. Rory Abel and Mr. Andrew Garcia" for a heterosexual unmarried couple, with the woman's name on the first line.

Informal Addressing

If your wedding is more casual, you have more flexibility in how you address your invitations. Here are some options:

• "Mr. John Smith and Miss Jane Doe" for an unmarried couple.
• "John and Leah Smith" without titles, which is less formal but may be preferred by some guests.
• "Mr. and Mrs. Andrew and Natalia Garcia" or "Mr. Andrew and Mrs. Natalia Garcia", including both names.

Remember, it's essential to consider your guests' preferences and feelings when addressing your invitations. If you're unsure, don't be afraid to ask them how they would like to be addressed.

How to address families with children

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few different approaches you can take depending on the age of the children and the formality of your wedding. Here are some detailed instructions on how to address these invitations:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is generally considered more formal and should include the full names of the invitees, including titles. If you are inviting a family with young children (under 18), list the names of the parent(s) or guardian(s) on the outer envelope. You can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name, or list the couple's names separately with the woman's name first. For example:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"
• "Mr. Michael Abraham and Mrs. Emily Abraham"

If the children are not invited, do not include their names on the outer envelope. This will imply that only the parents are invited.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, and you can address the invitees by their first names only. If children under 18 are invited, list their names on the inner envelope, in order of age. You can use "Miss" for girls under 18, but boys do not need a title until they are 16. For example:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"
• "Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

If you are not inviting children, do not include their names on the inner envelope. This will make it clear that they are not invited.

Additional Considerations:

• If you are inviting children over 18, they should receive their own invitation. Use their full formal name on the outer envelope and "Mr." or "Ms." followed by their last name on the inner envelope.
• To avoid confusion, clearly indicate on your wedding website or through word-of-mouth that children are not invited.
• If you are using double envelopes, stuff the inner envelope so that the flat side faces the flap of the outer envelope, and position the invitation so that the text faces the flap of the inner envelope.
• Weigh your invitations before mailing to ensure you have the correct postage.

What to do if guests bring extra people

It can be frustrating when guests bring extra people to your wedding. You might be expecting a certain number of guests, and additional guests can affect seating, catering, and table settings. It can also be costly, as the bill for each additional guest falls on the couple or their family. While it's great to be understanding, especially since many wedding guests may not realize how additional guests can affect your budget, you may still need to be direct and say something about it. Here are some ways to handle the situation:

Don't Include an Option for Extra Guests:

Avoid sending invitations with a fillable line for guests to add their plus ones. Some guests may see this as an opportunity to write in multiple names. Instead, put the guest's name and the term "plus one" to eliminate confusion. Make sure this section cannot be edited by anyone else but you.

Add a Note on the Invitation:

Your guests may not know if you're flexible about adding extra guests. Try adding a note on the invitation that sets clear guidelines, such as: "We appreciate all of our friends and family who wish to be present on our wedding day. Please understand that we have limited seating and can only accommodate the invited guest plus one additional attendee."

Don't Offer a Plus One:

Consider inviting a specific number of guests to the ceremony only. Explain that the guest list is limited to the number of people the venue can accommodate. Let them know that unfortunately, no extra guests will be able to attend. If they wish to bring extra guests, suggest that they are welcome to join you at a next-day brunch, if you are having one.

Provide Contact Information:

On your invitation, include your contact information for anyone who has questions about bringing a plus one. This way, you can address each situation individually and extend the invitation to a plus one if you choose to.

Be Direct:

If extra guests arrive on the day of the wedding, you may need to be direct and inform them that only those on the guest list can attend. Explain that it is a matter of limited space and budget. You can also suggest that they are welcome to join any post-wedding celebrations if you are having any.

Frequently asked questions