Personalized Vows: A Couple's Unique Promise To Each Other

The wedding vow exchange is one of the most important parts of a wedding. While some couples opt for traditional vows based on their religion or culture, others prefer to write personalised messages to their future spouse.

Composing your own wedding vows gives you the opportunity to make promises that resonate with you and your partner, and to vocalise your love and hopes in front of your friends and family. They can also provide a deeper look at your love story and inject romance, emotion, and personality into your wedding ceremony.

However, writing your own vows can be a challenging task. You might feel the pressure to perfectly capture your love, hopes, and promises in just a few minutes. It's also important to consider your comfort level with public speaking, as reciting your own vows can be a daunting experience, even in front of your loved ones.

Whether you choose to write your own vows or stick to traditional ones, the most important thing is that your vows reflect your love and commitment to your partner.

Should couples make their own wedding vows humorous?

Wedding vows are deeply personal and can be a source of humour, joy, and entertainment for the couple and their guests. However, it is essential to strike a balance between humour and sincerity when making your own wedding vows.

Humour can be a great way to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable, especially during a highly emotional ceremony. It can help to break the tension and create a relaxed environment for the couple and their guests. Adding a touch of humour to your vows can make the moment more relatable, personal, and enjoyable for everyone involved. It can also be a way to showcase the couple's unique personality and dynamic.

However, it is crucial to use humour carefully and ensure it aligns with the venue and the audience. Inside jokes or references that only a few guests will understand may fall flat or make others feel left out. It is also important to avoid making fun of the wedding process or using humour to downplay the significance of the day.

When incorporating humour into your vows, consider the following tips:

• Keep it light and good-natured. Avoid jokes that might embarrass your partner or make them feel uncomfortable.
• Make sure the humour is appropriate for the venue and the audience.
• Use humour to showcase your personality and dynamic as a couple, but avoid turning the vows into a comedy routine.
• Balance humour with sincerity and heartfelt promises.
• "I vow to never make you read books. I vow to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better."
• "I promise to make sure I'm not just hungry when I get upset."
• "I promise to always be your friend when you need one, and only your friend when you don't."
• "I promise to grow alongside you, but also to never grow up."

In conclusion, adding a touch of humour to your wedding vows can be a great way to inject personality and levity into the ceremony. Just remember to keep it tasteful, appropriate, and balanced with sincere promises and expressions of love.

Should couples make their own wedding vows romantic?

There are many reasons why couples may choose to write their own wedding vows. Firstly, it adds a personal and romantic touch to the ceremony, allowing couples to express their love and admiration for one another in their own words. This can make the occasion even more memorable and intimate.

Writing your own vows also gives you the freedom to be creative and include inside jokes, references to shared hobbies and activities, and funny anecdotes. You can also make the vows as serious or lighthearted as you wish, and include promises that are unique and meaningful to your relationship.

However, writing your own vows can be a daunting task, and some couples may feel pressure to perfectly capture their love and intentions. It can be challenging to find the right words and strike a balance between seriousness and humour. Additionally, not all couples may feel comfortable with public speaking, especially in front of a large audience.

To make the process less overwhelming, it is recommended that couples start writing their vows well in advance, discuss their expectations with their partner, and seek inspiration from various sources, such as books, movies, and TV shows. It is also important to keep the vows concise and focused on the most important aspects of your relationship and future together.

Ultimately, the decision to write your own wedding vows depends on your personal preferences and comfort level. Whether you choose to write your own vows or stick to traditional ones, the most important thing is that your vows reflect your love and commitment to your partner.

Should couples make their own wedding vows traditional?

There are many factors to consider when deciding whether to write your own wedding vows or stick to tradition. One of the most important days of your life, your wedding ceremony is a public event and a very special occasion, not only for the couple but also for their families. Wedding vows are for the couple, not for the congregation.

Writing your own vows can be a daunting task. You might feel the pressure to perfectly and authentically capture your love, hopes, and promises—a feat that may seem impossible. However, composing your own wedding vows gives you the opportunity to create promises that resonate with you, vocalize your love and hopes in front of your friends and family, and provide a deeper look at your love story. By reciting original, heartfelt words, you can infuse your service with romance, emotion, and personality, making the ceremony more meaningful, intimate, and compelling.

If you are getting married in a church, synagogue, or cathedral, you might not have a choice in the matter. There may be something prescribed that you must say. If you have a choice, then you might combine a personal statement with traditional vows.

• Will we recite the same vow or two different vows?
• Will we memorize them or repeat after the officiant?
• Humor or serious?

If you decide to write your own vows, you can either go completely original or draw inspiration from traditional religious and/or cultural wedding vows. Either way, you should include certain aspects: say "I love you," tell your partner you'll be there through anything, allude to personal stories and anecdotes, make concrete promises, and acknowledge the support you'll need from friends and family.

If you are nervous about public speaking, you can have the officiant read your vows as a question, and you can answer together "we will".

Should couples make their own wedding vows religious?

Wedding vows are a declaration of a couple's promises for their future and a contractual basis that will guide their shared life together. While some couples prefer to recite centuries-old wedding vows from different faiths and cultures, others opt for non-religious or personalised vows.

Religious Wedding Vows

Religious wedding vows are steeped in tradition and can be a meaningful way for couples to honour their heritage and speak the same words as their ancestors. The religious vows used today in the UK, for example, were first written in the Book of Common Prayer in 1549 but were around much earlier in the Sarum Rite in Medieval England.

Church of England Ceremony:

> I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.

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> I [Name] take you [Name] to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life.

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> I [Name] take you [Name] for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Catholic Wedding Vows:

> I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

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> I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.

Christian Wedding Vows:

> In the name of God, I, ____, take you, ____, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Celtic Wedding Vows:

> Today, we swear by love and peace to stand, hand to hand and heart to heart. Mark, O Spirit, and hear us now, this we confirm our Sacred Vow.

Viking Wedding Vows:

> I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. By the strength of Thor's hammer, I vow to protect and cherish you. By the light of the sun and the power of the gods, I pledge to love and honour you always.

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> There shall be one end for us both; one bond after our vows; nor shall our first love aimlessly perish. Happy am I to have won the joy of such a consort; I shall not go down basely in loneliness to the gods of Tartarus.

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> With this ring, I thee wed. I give you my heart and soul, and promise to love and cherish you always. I promise to be your faithful partner, to stand by your side through thick and thin, and to love and support you for all eternity.

Pagan Wedding Vows:

> I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.

Buddhist Wedding Vows:

> Today we dedicate ourselves completely to each other, in body, speech, and mind. Throughout this life, in every situation, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we promise to work to help each other perfectly. We commit to working together in our relationship toward the purpose of attaining enlightenment by striving to always perfect our kindness and compassion toward all sentient beings.

Baptist Wedding Vows:

> I, ________, take thee ________, to be my husband/wife, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband/wife.

Methodist Wedding Vows:

> Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honour, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?

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> In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Spanish Wedding Vows:

> I, ________, love you, _______, as my husband/ wife, and I give myself to you, and I promise to be faithful to you in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, all the days of my life. I, Groom/Bride, take thee, Bride/Groom, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold / from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow.

Episcopal Wedding Vows:

> ______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honour and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?

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> In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death/ till death do us part. This is my solemn vow.

Lutheran Wedding Vows:

> I take you, ______, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

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> I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world and God; through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live.

Hindu Wedding Vows:

> Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living. Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers. Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use. Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust. Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity. Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.

Muslim Wedding Vows:

> Bride: I, ___, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.

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> Groom: I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.

Anglican Wedding Vows:

> I, ____, take thee, ____, to my wedded wife/hisband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. WThisITH this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Presbyterian Wedding Vows:

> ______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wife/husband, and wilt thou pledge thy faith to him/her, in all love and honour, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with her/him, and cherish her/him, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?

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> I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

Quaker Wedding Vows:

> In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee, ______, to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

Cherokee Wedding Vows:

> God in heaven above, please protect the ones we love. We honour all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honour Mother Earth and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons. We honour fire and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts. We honour the wind and ask that we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms. We honour water to clean and soothe our relationship—that it may never thirst for love. With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony as we grow forever young together. Amen.

Greek Orthodox Wedding Vows:

> I, ___, take you, ___, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honour and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.

Interfaith Wedding Vows:

> With all my love, in front of our dear friends and family, I take you to be my partner. I vow to be your friend, companion and lover. I promise to be your partner in parenthood (if we're so blessed), your ally in times of disagreement and your greatest source of support. All the days that I live, I promise to be adventure alongside you, comfort you during disappointment and offer you strength in times of struggle. I vow to trust you fully and listen patiently, now and always.

Nondenominational Wedding Vows:

> I, ______, take you, ______, to as you are. Loving everything that I know of you, trusting what I have yet to discover, I vow to respect and trust you, as long as we both shall live, through everything that life brings our way.

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> ______, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.

Unitarian Universalist Wedding Vows:

> ______, will you take ______ to be your wife/husband; love, honour and cherish her/him now and forevermore? ______, will you take ______ as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honour and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfilment as an individual through all the changes in your lives? ______, will you have this woman/man, ______, to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honour her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live? ______, do you take this woman/man, ______, to be your wife/husband? Do you pledge to share your life openly with her/him and to speak the truth to her/him in love? Will you comfort her/him, honour her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?

Hawaiian Wedding Vows:

> I, _____, receive you, _____, as my partner and love. Beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in sickness and in health, in conflict and serenity, asking that you be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not know in all the ways that life may bring. _____, with this ring, I promise to grow with you, to build our love, to speak openly and honestly, to listen to you, and to love and cherish you for all the days ahead. From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home.

Mormon Wedding Vows:

> Brother ______, do you take Sister ______ by the right hand and receive her unto yourself to be your lawful and wedded wife for time and all eternity, with a covenant and promise that you will observe and keep all the laws, rites, and ordinances pertaining to this Holy Order of Matrimony in the New and Everlasting Covenant, and this you do in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses of your own free will and choice?

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> Sister ______ do you take brother ______ by the right hand and give yourself to him to be his lawful and wedded wife, and for him to be your lawful and wedded husband, for time and all eternity, with a covenant and promise that you will observe and keep all the laws, rites and ordinances pertaining to this Holy Order of Matrimony in the New and Everlasting Covenant, and this you do in the presence of God, angels, and these witnesses of your own free will and choice?

Japanese Wedding Vows:

> I marry this man/woman. No matter what health situations may come, I will love this person, respect this person, console this person, help this person, until death, protecting their fidelity—these things I swear.

Sikh Wedding Vows:

> In the fourth round of the marriage ceremony, the mind becomes peaceful having found the Lord. The Guru's disciple meets the Lord with intuitive ease when surrendering sweetly the mind soul and body. The Lord seems sweet to the one possessed by God who is lovingly attuned night and day on the Lord ever. The heart's mind becomes fruitful and attains its desire when the Lord's name resoundingly resonates within. The Lord God Master blends with the bride whose heart blossoms in the illumination of his name forthwith. Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the fourth round of the marriage ceremony the eternal Lord God is attained.

Ethical Humanist Wedding Vows:

> Today, in front of our friends and family, I give you everything I am and everything I will grow to be. I love you, and I vow to be your truest friend. I will share your hopes and dreams while working to help you achieve the goals you hold dear. I promise to always be right by your side and to listen patiently with an open heart. I pledge to you my fidelity, honesty, compassion and forgiveness. I vow to love you always, no matter what the future holds. I will be your most loyal confidant and friend, and your loving husband/wife because you are my heart and my soul now and forever.

Non-Religious Wedding Vows

Non-religious wedding vows are a good option for couples who want to celebrate their special day without religious references. They can be lighthearted and humorous or serious and deep. Here are some examples:

> In the wise, beautiful words of Maya Angelou, “In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.”

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> As we strive to build a better life, I promise to grow with you and learn from each other. I promise to be patient, kind, and forgiving, and I promise to cherish every day that we have with each other.

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> I, (name), take you (partner’s name), to be my [husband/wife/spouse] and my lifelong confidante. My love, you are the one constant in this ever-changing world. You are my best friend, and I promise to always treat you with the love, respect, and kindness you deserve.

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> As Oliver Goldsmith once said, “Life is a journey that must be travelled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations.”

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> I promise to be your navigator, supporter, sidekick, and best friend. I promise you myself, for as long as we both shall live.

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> To quote Anne Louise Germaine de Staël, “Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.”

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> I take you as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. We can’t

Should couples make their own wedding vows serious?

Wedding vows are deeply personal and vary from couple to couple. However, there are some key considerations to keep in mind when deciding whether or not to write your own vows.

Firstly, it is essential to understand the purpose of wedding vows. Vows are solemn promises made between two engaged individuals, traditionally exchanged during the wedding ceremony. They are a public declaration of the couple's commitment to each other and set the tone for their married life together.

When deciding whether to write your own vows, it is worth contemplating the following:

The level of comfort with public speaking

Public speaking can be intimidating, and reciting self-written vows adds an extra layer of pressure. If you or your partner are uncomfortable with public speaking, traditional vows may be a better option.

The desired tone and format

Discuss with your partner the tone and format you envision for your vows. Do you want them to be comedic, lighthearted, romantic, or stoic? Ensuring you are on the same page will help create a cohesive and well-rounded ceremony.

The inclusion of humour and inside jokes

Humour can be a wonderful way to ease nerves and engage your guests. However, it is crucial to use humour carefully and avoid making jokes at your partner's expense. Inside jokes should also be kept to a minimum, as they may exclude your guests and make them feel left out.

The length of the vows

Vows that are too long may lose the attention of your guests. Aim for a length that allows for personalisation without becoming overly lengthy.

The level of seriousness

While it is essential to inject your personality into your vows, it is also crucial to recognise the seriousness of the promises you are making. Wedding vows are not just about expressing your love but also about committing to a lifelong partnership through thick and thin.

The role of the officiant

If you are unsure about writing your own vows or feel overwhelmed by the process, your officiant can be a valuable resource. They can provide guidance, offer templates, and even read the vows on your behalf if you prefer.

Ultimately, the decision to write your own wedding vows rests with the couple. It is a personal choice that should reflect your unique relationship and vision for your wedding day.

Frequently asked questions