Bridesmaids: Support The Maid Of Honor's Bachelorette Party Plans

Planning a bachelorette party can be a lot of work, so it's no surprise that the maid of honor usually takes the lead on this. But should bridesmaids also help with the planning?

The short answer is yes – in fact, it's often a group effort that pulls from everyone's strengths. While the maid of honor is typically the one who covers the main expenses, the other bridesmaids can pitch in with things like decorations, party favors, and even the bride's share of the fun. This is especially true if the bachelorette party is a destination event, which can be more expensive and logistically complex.

That being said, it's important to consider everyone's budget and schedule when planning. Sending out a survey to gauge budgets and availability can be a helpful way to ensure that the bachelorette party is something that everyone can afford and attend. Ultimately, the most important thing is to maintain open and transparent communication between the bride, the maid of honor, and the bridesmaids to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that no one feels overwhelmed or left out.

Planning the bachelorette party

Define Roles and Responsibilities:

The maid of honor typically takes the lead in planning the bachelorette party, but it's essential to remember that the bridesmaids should also be involved and provide support. As the maid of honor, your responsibilities include coordinating with the bride and bridal party, choosing a theme and location, and finalizing travel and accommodation details. The bridesmaids can assist with brainstorming ideas, creating a guest list, and managing decorations and favors.

Start Planning Early:

It's best to begin planning the bachelorette party shortly after the couple finalises their wedding date and location. This will give you enough time to find a date that works for everyone, especially if you're planning a multi-day event. Starting early also helps spread out the payments and avoid last-minute travel fees. Aim to host the bachelorette party between one and three months before the wedding, avoiding the final few busy weeks.

Finalize the Guest List:

The maid of honor and bridesmaids are usually invited, but the bride may want to include additional people, such as her mother or a close friend. Ensure that only those invited to the wedding are invited to the bachelorette party. Get the bride's approval on the guest list before moving forward with other details.

Discuss the Budget:

Create a budget that considers everyone's financial situation. Send out a survey to the bridal party to understand their budgets, availability, and willingness to help plan. Ask about their maximum budget for the party and their ability to spend money on travel and accommodations. It's important to find a compromise that respects everyone's financial limitations, especially considering the other pre-wedding costs they may be incurring.

Choose a Date and Location:

In your survey, include questions about potential party dates and locations. Finalise the location early to give attendees enough time to plan and book travel arrangements.

Send Invitations and Collect RSVPs:

Send out official invitations and confirm who will be attending. This step is crucial, especially for destination bachelorette parties, to ensure you have an accurate guest count for travel and accommodation arrangements.

Book Travel, Accommodations, and Activities:

Once you have the guest count, finalise major details such as flights, hotels, and activities. Even if you're staying local, it's a good idea to secure reservations at popular restaurants or wineries early on.

Purchase Decorations and Favors:

With the essential details taken care of, focus on decorations, favors, games, and party swag. Matching t-shirts, banners, customised cups, photo props, and hangover kits are all popular choices.

Confirm and Share the Itinerary:

About a month before the party, ensure everyone is on the same page regarding the schedule, travel plans, and accommodation details. Create a group chat to facilitate communication and share any last-minute updates.

Pack and Travel:

As the host, aim to arrive at the party location a few hours before the bride and guests to set up decorations and handle any last-minute surprises.

Regroup and Thank Your Crew:

After the party, take a moment to thank everyone who helped plan and attend. Send handwritten notes or small gifts as a token of appreciation. Follow up on any outstanding expenses, and take time to rest before the wedding festivities begin!

Budgeting for the bachelorette party

Budgeting for a bachelorette party is a crucial step in the planning process. Here are some tips to help you create a budget that works for everyone:

Discuss the Budget Early On:

Start talking about the budget with the bridal party and guests early in the planning process, preferably about six months before the party. Send out a survey or poll to anonymously gather information about everyone's financial comfort zone and their maximum budget for the event. This will help you set a realistic budget that accommodates everyone's financial situation.

Choose a Location and Date:

The location and duration of the bachelorette party will significantly impact the overall cost. Opting for a driveable location instead of a flight can save guests a significant amount of money. Also, consider travelling during the off-season, when hotels and Airbnbs are less expensive, and try to avoid peak weekends.

Compare Accommodation Options:

Instead of splurging on a luxury resort, consider more affordable options like Airbnbs or VRBOs. Contact the rental company directly instead of booking through a third-party website to bypass additional fees. If you're staying local, see if anyone in the group is willing to host the party at their place.

Plan Meals and Activities:

Eating out for every meal can quickly increase costs. Plan some meals at your accommodation, like a fun breakfast or dinner in, and stock up on snacks and drinks. For activities, look for free events like outdoor concerts, hiking spots, or window shopping. If the bride wants some pricier activities, make them optional or balance them with budget-friendly alternatives.

Get Creative with Decor and Favours:

Decorations, favours, and invitations can add up. Get creative and make your own decorations and favours, or opt for budget-friendly options. You can also create your own digital invitations and send them via email or text to save on printing costs.

Split Costs Fairly:

As the host or planner, you'll likely be making most of the payments upfront. Keep track of all expenses and receipts, and create a spreadsheet to input every bill. Figure out a reimbursement system with the other guests, like using apps like Venmo or Splitwise.

Remember, it's essential to be transparent about the budget from the beginning and ensure everyone is comfortable with the financial expectations. The key is to be mindful of everyone's budgets and plan an enjoyable celebration without breaking the bank!

The role of the Maid of Honor

Before the Wedding

The Maid of Honor's main responsibility is to be a source of support for the bride, keeping her calm and excited throughout the process. She should also communicate with the bridesmaids and ensure all important tasks are completed. This includes leading the bridesmaids, introducing them to each other, and setting up a group chat or text chain so everyone can get to know each other.

The Maid of Honor should also check in with the bridesmaids about their budgets for the wedding and any pre-wedding events, such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower, to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Other tasks include:

• Attending wedding dress shopping appointments and providing an honest and respectful opinion
• Staying on top of important tasks, such as ordering her Maid of Honor dress in advance to allow for alterations
• Acting as a point of contact for the bridal party, family members, and guests, fielding any questions they may have
• Mediating any conflicts among the bridal party to ensure the bride doesn't have to
• Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, including reaching out to family and bridesmaids, keeping budgets in mind, and confirming dates, locations, and themes
• Keeping track of gifts received at the bridal shower so the bride can send thank-you notes later
• Preparing a wedding survival kit for the wedding day, including essentials like Advil, Band-Aids, hair ties, and safety pins
• Lending a hand with any DIY projects, such as addressing invitations or making centerpieces or favors
• Preparing a speech to be given at the wedding reception
• Helping the bride with her reception playlist
• Offering to pack for the bride's honeymoon if she is feeling overwhelmed

On the Wedding Day

The Maid of Honor's role on the day of the wedding is to continue providing support and assistance to the bride and ensuring she is calm, happy, and stress-free. Specific tasks include:

• Dropping off any reception items, such as toasting flutes, the guest book, or wedding favors, at the venue
• Ensuring the bridal suite is tidy and that all the bridesmaids' belongings are removed after getting ready
• Providing emotional support and keeping the bride's energy and excitement up, perhaps with a Champagne toast before the ceremony
• Making sure the bride remembers to eat something, providing her favorite snacks throughout the day
• Assisting the mother of the bride with her hair and makeup, and providing her with water, snacks, and Champagne
• Taking behind-the-scenes photos and videos, if the bride is happy for her to do so
• Helping the bride's partner to avoid crossing paths with the bride before the ceremony, if they are following this tradition
• Helping the bride get dressed, ensuring all her accessories and shoes are laid out in advance
• Assisting the bride in the restroom, helping her with her dress, hair, and makeup
• Acting as the bride's personal stylist, steaming out any wrinkles and ensuring the veil is perfectly placed
• Safekeeping the wedding rings at some point during the day
• Holding the bride's bouquet after she walks down the aisle and giving it back to her before walking up the aisle
• Keeping the bride hydrated throughout the day, with her preferred drinks
• Dancing with the bride at the reception

The role of the bridesmaids

The bridesmaids are an integral part of the wedding party and play a crucial role in supporting the bride and maid of honor. While the maid of honor typically leads the bridal party, the bridesmaids provide essential assistance and contribute to various tasks and responsibilities. Here is an overview of the role of the bridesmaids and how they can help the maid of honor plan the bachelorette party:

Communication and Collaboration:

• Connecting the Bridal Party: Bridesmaids should facilitate communication and connection among the bridal party, which often includes people from different circles of the bride's life. They can set up a group chat or text thread to ensure everyone can interact and get to know each other before the wedding activities.
• Checking In with the Bridal Party: It is important for bridesmaids to be mindful of the financial situation of the other bridesmaids. Before planning extravagant getaways or expensive events, they should discuss budgets and ensure that everyone is comfortable with the expenses. This is crucial to avoid putting anyone in a difficult financial position.
• Assisting with Planning: Bridesmaids should actively collaborate with the maid of honor in planning the bachelorette party. They can provide their ideas, preferences, and input to ensure that the event aligns with the bride's wishes and the group's dynamics.

Financial Considerations:

• Splitting Costs: Traditionally, the maid of honor and bridesmaids split the costs of the bachelorette party. This typically includes expenses for food, drinks, decorations, and other entertainment. However, in recent times, it has become more common for the entire guest list, including the bride, to split costs evenly, especially for destination bachelorette parties.
• Gifts and Favors: Bridesmaids often contribute to gifts for the bride, such as tumblers, nail polish, or koozies. They may also offer smaller party favors like hair ties, lip balm, or face masks.

Pre-Wedding Support:

• Wedding Dress Shopping: Bridesmaids are expected to accompany the bride on wedding dress shopping excursions. They provide honest and respectful opinions to help the bride find the perfect dress.
• Conflict Mediation: Bridesmaids, along with the maid of honor, play a crucial role in maintaining peace among the bridal party. They should be prepared to step in and mediate any conflicts or disagreements to ensure a harmonious atmosphere leading up to the wedding.
• Emotional Support: One of the most important roles of the bridesmaids is to provide emotional support to the bride. They should be a source of comfort, encouragement, and excitement throughout the entire wedding journey.
• Assistance with DIY Projects: Bridesmaids can offer their time and help with any DIY projects the bride may be working on, such as addressing wedding invitations, creating centerpieces, or making favors.

Day-of Responsibilities:

• Survival Kit: Bridesmaids should bring a pack of essentials like Advil, Band-Aids, hair ties, safety pins, and other emergency items to all wedding events. This ensures that any last-minute issues or minor mishaps can be easily addressed.
• Assisting the Bride: On the wedding day, bridesmaids are responsible for assisting the bride with various tasks, such as getting dressed, using the restroom, and ensuring she stays hydrated and well-nourished throughout the day.
• Social Media Coverage: With the bride's permission, bridesmaids can capture behind-the-scenes moments, snap photos, and even post on social media to document the day.
• Keeping the Suite Tidy: After the bridal party has finished getting ready, the bridesmaids should ensure that they remove their belongings from the bridal suite, leaving a neat and tidy space for the newlyweds to return to.

The bride's expectations

• Communication is key: It is important to have open and honest communication with the bride about her expectations for the bachelorette party. Discuss what type of party she wants, including possible themes, locations, and activities. It is also crucial to talk about budgets and any other constraints to ensure that the planning is realistic and achievable.
• Timing is important: The bachelorette party is typically held between one and three months before the wedding. It is essential to start planning early, especially if it is a destination bachelorette party or if there are specific dates or locations that the bride has in mind.
• The bride's comfort and enjoyment are paramount: The bachelorette party should be tailored to the bride's interests and personality. If she prefers a low-key weekend over a wild night of partying, her wishes should be respected. The focus should be on creating an enjoyable and memorable experience for the bride, not on social media worthiness.
• Budget considerations: The bachelorette party expenses are typically shared between the maid of honor and the bridesmaids, with the bride's costs often being covered as a gift. However, if the party is held in another city or involves significant travel costs, it is fairer to split the costs evenly among all attendees, including the bride. It is essential to have transparent conversations about budgets and ensure that everyone is comfortable with the financial commitments.
• Maid of Honor's role: The maid of honor usually takes the lead in planning the bachelorette party, but it can also be a group effort. The bride may expect the maid of honor to initiate conversations about the party, keep track of budgets and schedules, and coordinate with the bridal party. However, it is important not to treat the maid of honor as a personal assistant and overwhelm her with demands.
• Involvement of the bridal party: The bride may expect all or most of her bridal party to attend the bachelorette party. While it is reasonable to expect their attendance, it is important not to be demanding if some bridesmaids have budget constraints or prior commitments.
• Gifts and favours: Traditionally, the bride gives gifts to her bridal party as a thank-you for covering the bachelorette party costs. These gifts can include items like tumblers, nail polish, or koozies. The maid of honor may also offer smaller party favours, such as hair ties, lip balm, or face masks.

Frequently asked questions