Cursive Conundrum: Wedding Invitation Etiquette Explored

Wedding invitations are a chance to make a good impression on your guests, but there are a lot of things to consider when it comes to addressing the envelopes. From the style of writing to the colour of the envelopes, it can be a tricky task. The most important thing is that the addresses are legible, but you may also want to consider the formality of your wedding, your budget, and whether you want to include any special touches.

Handwriting vs. Printing

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few options to consider: handwriting your own envelopes, hiring a professional calligrapher, exploring faux calligraphy, or using machine printers. While tradition may dictate handwritten envelopes as the proper wedding protocol, modern alternatives like machine printing offer a cost-effective and time-saving solution.

Handwriting wedding invitations can be a beautiful and personal touch, following traditional wedding etiquette. However, it can also be time-consuming and costly, especially if you hire a professional calligrapher. On the other hand, printing addresses on envelopes using machine printers is a modern and efficient approach that saves time and money.

Handwriting Envelopes

If you have the budget and want to add a luxurious touch to your wedding invitations, hiring a professional calligrapher is an option. Calligraphy is a beautiful art form, and receiving an elegantly handwritten invitation can be impressive for your guests. However, it can be expensive, with prices ranging from $1 to $5+ per envelope, and some calligraphy may be difficult to read.

For those with nice handwriting, DIY handwritten envelopes can be a more affordable option. It adds a personal touch, and you can even try faux calligraphy, where you reinforce the downstrokes of your cursive writing with a black pen to create a calligraphy-like effect. However, handwriting each envelope yourself can be time-consuming and prone to mistakes, leading to wasted envelopes and increased costs.

Printing Envelopes

Printing addresses on envelopes using machine printers is a modern and cost-effective alternative to handwriting. Online stationers like Minted offer free guest addressing services, where you can upload your contacts and have the addresses printed directly onto the envelopes. This saves time and money, and you can even choose calligraphy-inspired fonts to mimic the look of handwritten envelopes.

Printing is also a good option to ensure your envelopes are legible and can be easily read by postal machines. While some may consider it less traditional, it is a practical choice that won't detract from the overall presentation of your wedding invitations.

Ultimately, the decision between handwriting and printing addresses on wedding invitations depends on your budget, time constraints, and personal preference. Handwriting, especially with professional calligraphy, can be a beautiful and traditional choice. However, printing offers a modern, efficient, and cost-effective solution that still allows for personalisation and a stylish presentation.

Formality and Etiquette

When it comes to the formality and etiquette of addressing wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and full names of the guests on the outer envelopes, avoiding nicknames or initials. For married couples, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first, with the appropriate prefix included. For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names are included on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first.

When addressing a single person, use "Mr." for men and "Ms." for women over the age of 18. For women under 18, "Miss" is acceptable. Non-binary guests can be addressed as "Mx." If you are inviting a family, the outer envelope can be addressed to the whole family or include "and children" after the parents' names. The inner envelope should include the names of all invited family members, including children.

It is also important to spell out all words in the address, including "Street", "Post Office Box", and "Apartment". House numbers smaller than 20 should also be spelled out. The return address should be printed on the back flap of the envelope.

While it is not necessary to handwrite the addresses, it is a nice touch and follows traditional etiquette. If you choose to handwrite the addresses, it is important to use clear and legible handwriting to ensure the invitations are delivered correctly. Another option is to hire a professional calligrapher to inscribe the envelopes, which adds a luxurious and elegant touch. However, this can be costly and time-consuming.

Alternatively, printed addressed envelopes are a modern and economical option. Online stationers often offer free guest addressing services, allowing you to upload your contacts and have the addresses printed directly onto the envelopes. This saves time and money while still achieving a calligraphy-inspired look.

Inner and Outer Envelopes

Wedding invitations can include an inner and outer envelope, but an inner envelope is strictly optional. The outer envelope is what is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope only contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself.

The outer envelope includes all the information the postal service needs for delivery. Traditionally, the inner envelope is used to indicate the names of the guests addressed by the invitation. However, this is no longer necessary due to the proper handling of the outer envelope by automated readers.

The outer envelope should be formal. A foolproof option is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This format works for couples of all genders who may or may not share a surname. If you feel personal titles might be restrictive for your guest list, you can forgo them and use first and last names only.

The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format of the outer envelope. Go with your gut here—if using personal titles and last names together feels right, that works. If you're going for casual vibes and would like to use first names only, that's fine too.

If you're only sending one envelope (an outer envelope), all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front, including guests that are typically only listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones and children.

The choice to include an inner envelope is a matter of preference. One benefit of using two envelopes is ensuring that the inner envelope remains pristine and flawless. Another benefit is the ability to clarify who else is invited, such as plus-ones or children. However, using two envelopes can be seen as a waste of paper, and there is no rule requiring you to use multiple envelopes.

Hiring a Calligrapher

If you're looking to add a personal touch to your wedding invitations, hiring a calligrapher is a great option. Here are some tips to help you through the process:

Start your search early: It's recommended to book your calligrapher when you book your invitations. Calligraphers tend to get booked up quickly, and their work is labour-intensive, so it's best to get on their production calendar early.

Determine your budget: Calligraphy services are typically priced per piece, with envelope addressing costing around $3.50 to $5.50 per envelope. Be wary of prices that seem too good to be true, as you often get what you pay for.

Find a calligrapher: Ask your stationer or wedding planner for recommendations, or reach out to your local calligraphy guild or association. Many of these organizations have listings of local calligraphers or can put you in touch with their members. Websites like Thumbtack can also help you find highly-rated calligraphers in your area.

Provide the necessary information: Once you've found your calligrapher, you'll need to provide them with a neatly printed guest list, including full addresses, social titles (Mr., Mrs., Dr., etc.), and professional titles. Double-check spellings and confirm addresses to avoid any last-minute changes.

Allow enough time: Get the envelopes to the calligrapher at least two to three weeks before you need them. Some calligraphers may require even more time, so be sure to communicate your needs clearly and provide all the necessary information in a timely manner.

By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to adding a touch of elegance and personalization to your wedding invitations.

Addressing Married Couples

When addressing married couples on wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and spellings for each person. Traditionally, the outer envelope includes the titles "Mr." and "Mrs." for heterosexual couples, with the man's full name written out. For same-sex couples, either name can go first, followed by the appropriate title. However, modern etiquette also allows for forgoing titles altogether and simply listing the couple's first and last names. If the couple has the same last name, their names can be written on the same line, followed by their shared last name.

For married couples with different last names, their full names should be written on the same line, with the woman's name listed first. If the combined names are too long, they can be listed separately. For same-sex couples with different last names, the same format applies, ensuring that each guest is addressed with the suitable title.

When addressing a married couple where one spouse has hyphenated their last name, their names should be written on the same line, with the non-hyphenated name listed first.

It is also worth noting that the inner envelope is more informal and may include only the couple's titles and last names or even just their first names.

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez" or "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Remember, it is always a good idea to double-check the preferred titles and spellings of your guests' names before addressing the invitations.

Frequently asked questions