The Perfect Timing For Sending Wedding Invitations

WeddingWire advises that the key to knowing when to send wedding invitations is to avoid sending them out too early or too late. For destination weddings, invitations should be sent two to three months before the event, while for hometown weddings, six to eight weeks is sufficient. WeddingWire also recommends sending save-the-dates six months to a year in advance. Rehearsal dinner invitations should be sent out a week or two after the main wedding invitations.

Destination vs. hometown wedding invites

Deciding on the location of your wedding is one of the first and most important decisions you will make as a couple. While a destination wedding may be alluring and exciting, it's not for everyone. Here are some key things to consider when deciding between a destination and a hometown wedding, and how that will impact the timing of your wedding invitations:

Destination Wedding Invites

If you're planning a destination wedding, you'll want to give your guests more notice than you would for a hometown wedding. It's recommended that you send out destination wedding invitations two to three months before the event. This will give your guests more time to book their travel and accommodations. Set your RSVP deadline for about six weeks before your wedding, as you'll likely need more time to plan your wedding weekend and any group activities or events.

Hometown Wedding Invites

With hometown weddings, you can be more flexible with the timing of your invitations. Usually, sending them out about six to eight weeks before the wedding is sufficient if most of your guests aren't travelling long distances. Set your RSVP deadline for about two to three weeks before the big day to ensure you have enough time to create your seating chart, finalise details with your caterer and venue, and confirm a final headcount.

Other Considerations

There are several other factors to consider when deciding between a destination and a hometown wedding:

• Formalities and Control: Destination weddings tend to be more casual, and you may have to sacrifice some of the formalities of a traditional wedding. Additionally, you'll need to be prepared to relinquish some control over the festivities, as long-distance planning may result in some changes to your original plans.
• Guest List and Gifts: Destination weddings typically have smaller guest lists, as most guests will be paying their own way and some may not be able to attend. In a sense, your guests are giving you the gift of their presence, so you shouldn't expect big-ticket wedding gifts from them.
• Cost and Logistics: Destination weddings can be more costly and require more logistical planning. You'll likely need to hire a wedding planner with destination wedding experience to help you navigate the challenges of planning an event in an unfamiliar location.
• Adventure vs. Convenience: A destination wedding offers the opportunity to create a unique and special experience for you and your guests, taking them out of their everyday atmospheres and focusing solely on your wedding. However, consider the convenience of your guests, especially those who may have difficulty travelling, such as grandparents.
• Time and Intimacy: Hometown weddings tend to be shorter, lasting around 5-6 hours, while destination weddings allow for more quality time with your guests over an entire weekend, making it more intimate.
• Vendor Familiarity: With a hometown wedding, you'll be more familiar with local vendors, making it easier to choose caterers, salons, bands, etc.

Ultimately, the decision between a destination and a hometown wedding comes down to your personal preferences, budget, and temperament. Both options can be equally wonderful and memorable, so choose what feels best for you and your fiancé.

Timing for rehearsal dinner invites

The rehearsal dinner is usually the first event of the wedding weekend, so it's important to get the timing of the invites right.

You should start planning your rehearsal dinner between three and six months before your wedding. It's recommended to send out your rehearsal dinner invitations about four weeks in advance. This gives guests enough time to adjust their travel plans if needed. It's also good rehearsal dinner invitation etiquette to send them after you've mailed your wedding invites. You can send the invite to the smaller group with the wedding invite, but this can get confusing if you have to ensure only certain guests receive the rehearsal invite.

It's best to send rehearsal dinner invitations separately from your wedding invitations, even if the guest list is generally the same. This is also a good opportunity to set the tone for the weekend and bring a little more weight to the occasion.

If you're having a destination wedding, it's a good idea to give guests a bit more notice, so they have time to book travel and accommodation.

How early is too early?

Sending out your wedding invitations too early can be just as much of a faux pas as sending them out too late. While you want to give your guests ample time to respond and prepare for your big day, sending out your invitations too far in advance runs the risk of guests losing or forgetting the information, or feeling like they are being “B-listed".

A good rule of thumb is to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This is the standard time frame and will give your guests enough time to plan their attendance without being too early or too late. Sending your invitations within this window will also allow you to set an RSVP deadline of two to three weeks before the wedding, giving you enough time to finalise your seating chart, create escort cards, and give your caterer and venue a final headcount.

If you are hosting a destination wedding or have a lot of out-of-town guests, you may want to give your guests a bit more notice. In this case, it is recommended to send out your invitations two to three months before the event. This will give your guests more time to arrange travel and accommodations. You can set your RSVP deadline for about six weeks before your wedding, as you'll likely need more time to plan your wedding weekend and any group activities or events.

If you have already sent out save-the-date cards, this can buy you a bit of time before sending out your wedding invitations. Save-the-date cards should be sent out six months to a year before the wedding, giving your guests plenty of time to block off their calendars and make travel plans if necessary. However, you should still aim to send your wedding invitations at least six weeks in advance to avoid any last-minute confusion or forgetfulness.

What to include in invites

Wedding invitations can be complicated as there is a lot of information that needs to be communicated to your guests. Here is a list of what to include in your wedding invites:

The Hosts

It is important to include who is hosting (or paying for) the wedding. This can be the couple themselves or their parents or other relatives. If the couple is paying for the majority of the wedding but their parents are contributing to a few elements, the invitation can say something like: "Together with their families, [couple's names] request the pleasure of your company".

The Couple

The couple's names should follow the request line. For heterosexual couples, the bride's name is usually listed first, but you can order your names in a way that feels right to you. LGBTQIA+ couples can list their names alphabetically, by age, or however they prefer. First and middle names, first and last names, or full legal names can be used. The level of formality of the wedding can be a guide here: a black-tie ballroom event might call for full names, while a casual beach ceremony might call for just first names.

The Date

The date of the wedding is key information for guests. Include the day of the week, date, month, and year to ensure everything is clear.

The Time

The time of the ceremony should be indicated to let guests know when to arrive. Stating the start time will also help avoid any latecomers. Include the hour and time of day (a.m. vs p.m.) to avoid confusion. On formal invitations, write out the time rather than using numerals (e.g. "four o'clock in the afternoon").

The Location

Include the full name and address of the ceremony venue. If the reception is being held at the same location, you can simply say "Reception to Follow" on the invitation. If the reception is at a different location, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.

Attire (Optional)

Including the dress code on the invitation is optional. Most modern invites don't include attire details as this information can be communicated via the wedding website. However, you can include a line indicating the expectation, e.g. "Casual Attire", "Black Tie", etc.

RSVP Details

Include a way for your guests to RSVP, such as a separate response card with a specific deadline and a self-addressed, stamped return envelope. This card can also include checked boxes for attendance and menu selections, along with blank space for personal messages.

Extra Information About the Venue

If you're getting married in a unique or unfamiliar venue, it's useful to include an insert with extra information such as parking instructions or a custom map of the area.

Wedding Website Address (Optional)

Including your wedding website address is optional but can be a helpful resource for your guests. This is a great place to include important details like accommodations and registry information.

Envelope Information

Confirm the correct spelling of your guests' names and addresses before ordering your invitations. Ask for their preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, or the gender-neutral Mx.) and their last names, as not all married couples share a surname. Don't forget to include your return address on the back flap of the outer envelope and on the front of the reply card envelope.

Remember, you don't have to include all of this information on a single piece of paper. You can send inserts along with your invites, such as RSVP cards or a map illustration of the wedding venue.

RSVP deadlines

When setting an RSVP deadline, it's important to consider the time and effort needed to plan your seating chart, create escort cards, and give your caterer and venue a final headcount. For a destination wedding, it is recommended to set the RSVP deadline for about six weeks before the wedding, while for a hometown wedding, the deadline can be set for about two to three weeks before the big day. This will ensure that you have enough time to finalise all the necessary arrangements.

It is also worth noting that the deadline should not be too early or too late. Ideally, the "RSVP by" date should fall three to four weeks before your wedding. This means that the invitations should be mailed six to eight weeks prior to the wedding, giving guests a window of about one month to respond. Setting the deadline too early may cause guests' plans to change, while setting it too late may result in last-minute scrambling and a lack of time to follow up with delinquent guests.

Some couples opt for a deadline of four weeks or 28 days before the wedding, while others prefer a more relaxed approach with a deadline of six weeks or about 40 days before the event. Ultimately, the decision depends on various factors, including the number of out-of-town guests, the complexity of the seating arrangements, and the requirements of your vendors.

To ensure a timely response from your guests, consider including a pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations. Additionally, providing an option for digital RSVPs through your wedding website can increase response rates and make it more convenient for your guests.

Frequently asked questions