The Best Man: Brotherly Bond Or Best Buds?

While there is no rule that the best man has to be the groom's brother, it is common for the groom to choose a close friend or relative for this role. If the groom has a brother, this often simplifies the decision, as a brother is likely to know the groom well, have met the spouse, and know what kind of bachelor party to throw. However, the groom's best friend or another relative can also be chosen, and it is not uncommon for there to be two or more best men if the groom has multiple brothers or wants to include his friend(s). Ultimately, the choice of best man is up to the groom, and the most important factor is selecting someone who will make the groom feel comfortable and supported throughout the wedding process.

It's your choice

Ultimately, it's your choice who you pick as your best man. It's your day, so it's your decision. You can choose whoever you want, whether that's your brother, your friend, a man, a woman, or you can opt to have no best man at all.

If you have a brother, your choice of best man is simple. A brother, whether younger or older, will know you well, has likely met your partner, and will know what kind of bachelor party to throw for you. However, if you don't get along with your brother, or you are particularly close with a friend, you might prefer to choose them instead.

If you have two brothers, you could have them both as best men, or choose the older brother, or the one you are closest to. You could even make it into a game and have them compete to see who gets to be best man!

If you are worried about upsetting your brother by not choosing him, it's best to set expectations early and be upfront. You could also offer him another role, such as groomsman, usher, driver, or speech-giver.

Remember, it's your wedding, so do what you want!

Brothers are usually the best man

There is no rule that a groom cannot have more than one best man, so if a groom has two or more brothers, he may choose to include all of them in this role. In this case, it is a good idea to divide up the responsibilities to avoid conflict and ensure that the same speech is not given twice.

However, it is not obligatory to choose a brother as the best man. The groom may prefer to choose a friend or another relative, or even a woman, to be their best man. Ultimately, it is the groom's decision, and they should choose someone who will make them feel comfortable and ease any anxieties.

More than one best man is fine

It is perfectly fine to have more than one best man at your wedding. In fact, it is becoming more and more common. If you have two brothers, for example, or a brother and a best friend, you might want to have them both by your side on your special day.

There is no rule that says you can't have more than one best man. You can divide up the responsibilities between them to avoid any conflict and ensure the day goes smoothly. For instance, one can plan the bachelor party, and the other can hold the rings. They can even give their speeches together, perhaps passing the microphone back and forth, or doing it in perfect unison.

If you have more than one brother, there is no rule that says you have to choose one over the other. You can have them both as best men, or choose a close friend instead. It's your wedding, so it's your decision. Choose whoever will make you feel comfortable and ease any anxieties.

If you think your brother will be disappointed about not being chosen as best man, it's best to set expectations early and be upfront. You can always offer him another role, such as groomsman, usher, driver, or speech-giver.

Best man duties

While the best man is often the groom's brother, it is not a requirement. The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative.

Before the Wedding:

• Help choose suits for the bridal party
• Offer your services to the bride and groom for any wedding planning duties
• Write and deliver a great best man's speech
• Do your homework on the guests
• Help set up the wedding
• Be the point person for the ushers
• Be organised and prepared
• Look after the groom the night before the wedding
• Check in with the groom
• Help with the pre-wedding set-up
• Stay over with the groom
• Organise final fittings
• Liaise with the maid of honour
• Help the groom with planning admin
• Plan an awesome bachelor party
• Arrange to meet the ushers
• Help choose the suits
• Organise a groomsmen's gift to the groom

On the Wedding Day:

• Help the groom get ready
• Organise the ushers
• Keep the rings safe
• Greet the guests with the groom
• Stand at the altar with the groom
• Escort the maid of honour out of the ceremony
• Stand in the receiving line
• Help organise wedding photographs
• Be the master of ceremonies
• Deliver your speech
• Get the party started

After the Wedding:

• Return and clean suits
• Take care of wedding gifts
• Decorate the getaway car
• Tie up loose ends after the reception

Best man speeches

While it is common for the best man to be the groom's brother, it is not a requirement. The groom is free to choose whoever he wants for this role, be it a friend, a man, or a woman.

Now, for the best man speech. Being chosen as the best man for a wedding is an honour, but it also comes with great responsibility. One of the main tasks is giving a memorable speech. It is a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show support for the newlyweds. Here are some tips to help you craft a standout best man speech:

Preparation

Before you begin writing, take some time to brainstorm and jot down your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom. This will help you gather your ideas and ensure you don't forget anything important.

Using a Template

If you're unsure where to start, consider using a template as a guide. This will give you a basic structure to work with, and you can always inject your personality and experiences to make it unique.

Opening and Closing Lines

The opening and closing lines of your speech are crucial as they leave a lasting impression. Grab the audience's attention with a compelling opener, and end with a memorable closing that ties back to the theme of your speech and expresses your well-wishes for the couple.

Sharing Stories

People love stories, so share funny, heartwarming, or even embarrassing anecdotes that showcase the groom's personality and your relationship with him. If you're struggling to come up with stories, ask mutual friends—they might have some great tales you've forgotten or weren't aware of.

Expressing What the Groom Means to You

Explain why you value your relationship with the groom. Perhaps he's always had your back, gives great advice, or is simply a great friend. This will add a personal touch to your speech and showcase the groom's positive qualities.

Delivery

Practice your speech as much as possible. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend to refine your delivery and build your confidence. Remember to breathe and visualise yourself as a great speaker to calm your nerves.

Connecting with the Audience

Maintain eye contact, speak clearly, and use hand gestures to engage the audience. Even the best speech will fall flat if you're looking at the ground and mumbling.

Timing

While there is no set time limit, shorter is usually better. Aim for around 4-7 minutes to hold the audience's attention.

Addressing the Couple

Don't forget to talk directly to the couple and wish them a happy future together. This is also when you would make the toast, asking everyone to raise their glasses to the newlyweds.

With these tips in mind, you'll be well on your way to delivering a best man speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons!

Frequently asked questions