Big Wedding Blues: Navigating The Too-Many-Attendants Conundrum

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and deciding on the size of your wedding party is no exception. There are many factors to consider when making this decision, such as the size of your guest list, your budget, and the dynamics of your group of friends.

While a large wedding party can be a lot of fun and ensure that more of your loved ones are involved in your special day, it can also come with challenges. More people means more personalities, which can lead to potential drama and clashing. It also means higher costs, as you'll need to factor in gifts, flowers, transportation, and pre-wedding festivities for each additional person.

On the other hand, a smaller wedding party can make your wedding feel more intimate and be easier to plan and coordinate. However, this route may also lead to hurt feelings among those who aren't included.

Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and what will make you and your partner happiest.

Budget: More people means more costs for food, transport, gifts, etc

Budgeting for a wedding is a tricky business, and it's important to consider the costs associated with each additional guest. The more people you invite, the more you'll need to spend on food, drinks, transport, gifts, and more.

The average wedding in Australia in 2019 cost $25,679, with a median of $24,000. In the US, the average wedding size in 2023 was 115 guests, and the average spend was $28,644. These figures show that the cost per guest can quickly add up, especially when you factor in other expenses such as the venue, attire, flowers, and photography.

When it comes to your wedding party, the costs can increase even more. A bigger wedding party means spending more on flowers, gifts, the rehearsal dinner, and any other treats you want to give to your bridal squad. For example, you may want to contribute to the costs of dresses and suits for your bridesmaids and groomsmen. A larger group will also require a larger rehearsal dinner, and you may need to hire a larger vehicle to transport everyone to and from the venue.

It's important to consider your budget when deciding on the size of your wedding party and guest list. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the costs, consider cutting down the number of people you invite. Every little bit of savings can help. You might also want to consider having a smaller wedding party and a larger guest list, or vice versa, depending on your priorities and budget.

Additionally, a smaller wedding party can make the planning process easier and more intimate. It's also a good idea to base the size of your wedding party on the number of guests you plan to invite, so that it feels proportional. This way, your wedding party doesn't overwhelm your guests, and those who are not included in the wedding party won't feel left out.

Space: Your venue may not have the capacity for a large wedding party

Space is a crucial factor when deciding on the size of your wedding party. If you're planning a large wedding party, you need to ensure that your venue has the capacity to accommodate everyone comfortably. Here are some important considerations:

The first step is to determine the maximum capacity of your venue. This can be done by calculating the square footage of the space and allowing for a certain amount of square feet per person. As a general guideline, a loose crowd requires approximately 10 square feet per person, while a more tightly packed crowd may need around five square feet per person. Keep in mind that you may want to adjust for more space to avoid a crowded appearance.

Next, consider the layout of the space and the specific needs of your wedding party. Will you have a sit-down dinner with round or rectangular tables? If so, you'll need to allocate enough space for tables, chairs, and comfortable circulation. Don't forget to include space for a dance floor, entertainment, food stations, and any other special requirements. For example, a head table for the bridal party may require an additional 400 square feet.

Additionally, think about the flow of your wedding and the responsibilities of your wedding party. They will need to show up on time, be present for the photo session, walk down the aisle, and more. A larger wedding party may require more coordination and space to ensure everyone can move around without feeling cramped.

Lastly, don't forget about pre-wedding events such as bachelor and bachelorette parties. If you're planning on hosting these events at the same venue, ensure that there is enough space to accommodate your wedding party and any additional guests.

By carefully considering the space and capacity of your venue, you can make an informed decision about the size of your wedding party. Remember, it's important to choose a venue that can comfortably accommodate your wedding party and any additional guests to ensure a memorable and enjoyable celebration.

Drama: More people means more potential for clashing personalities and drama

While having a large wedding party can be a lot of fun, it's not always the best option. One of the main drawbacks is the potential for drama and personality clashes. With more people in the wedding party, there are more opinions, schedules, and budgets to consider, which can make planning pre-wedding events and the wedding day itself more complicated.

The key to avoiding drama is to choose your wedding party members wisely. It's important to select people who will get along with each other and whose personalities mesh well. This will help to keep the planning process and festivities smooth and drama-free. If there are any non-negotiable wedding party members, such as siblings, who have a flair for the dramatic, it's important to keep tabs on how the group is getting along and handle any problems before they get out of hand.

Additionally, it's a good idea to choose an "inner circle" of close family members and friends to help with important decisions. This will help to reduce the number of opinions and make the planning process less confusing.

Another way to avoid drama is to break the ice between wedding party members by inviting them to a social event, such as brunch or dinner, where they can mix and mingle before diving into wedding planning. This will help to ensure that everyone gets along and reduce the potential for cliques and clashes.

Furthermore, clear communication is key when dealing with a large group of people. It's important to keep everyone informed and on the same page by sending emails or texts with important details and timelines. This will help to ensure that everyone knows what is expected of them and reduce the chances of miscommunication.

Finally, if the idea of managing a large wedding party feels overwhelming, it's okay to opt for a smaller group or even a wedding without a wedding party. It's important to remember that the wedding day is about the couple, and they should choose the option that feels right for them and that will bring them the most joy.

Organisation: It's harder to coordinate timings and tasks with a larger group

Organisation is a key consideration when deciding on the size of your wedding party. The larger the group, the more difficult it is to coordinate timings and tasks.

Firstly, the more people you have in your wedding party, the more schedules, budgets, and opinions you have to consider. This can make it challenging to reach a consensus on plans for pre-wedding events such as bachelor and bachelorette parties and showers. It is important to choose a maid of honour or best man who is organised and can keep things running smoothly.

Secondly, ordering attire, booking travel arrangements, and ensuring your wedding party takes care of important tasks can be a hassle with a large group. It is essential to have someone in charge of the group who can handle the major responsibilities and keep everyone on the same page.

Thirdly, coordinating timings on the day of the wedding can be tricky with a large wedding party. They have several responsibilities, including showing up on time, being present for the photo session, and walking down the aisle in order. It is important to have a rehearsal the day before, send a timeline in advance, and provide transportation to help keep things running on schedule.

Finally, a larger wedding party may result in higher costs for the couple. This includes expenses such as gifts, flowers, transportation, pre-wedding festivities, and meals.

In conclusion, while a large wedding party can provide more helping hands and surround you with love and support, it is important to consider the challenges of coordinating a larger group. Effective organisation and communication are key to ensuring your big day runs smoothly.

Stress: A bigger wedding party can lead to more stress, especially if you're introverted

Deciding on the size of your wedding party can be a tricky task. While a larger wedding party has its advantages, it can also lead to added stress, especially for introverted individuals. Here are some reasons why a bigger wedding party might increase stress levels:

More People Means More Planning

A larger wedding party often means more coordination and planning. With a bigger group, it can be challenging to find a dress style or suit that flatters everyone. Additionally, the logistics of transportation, accommodation, and venue space become more complicated. It's essential to ensure that your venue can comfortably accommodate your wedding party and that you have enough space for everyone to get ready and take photos.

Budgetary Constraints

A bigger wedding party typically means a higher cost. The expenses for gifts, flowers, transportation, pre-wedding events, meals, and wedding party attire can add up quickly. As the bride and groom, you may also want to contribute financially to your wedding party's costs as a token of appreciation. If you're working with a limited budget, a larger wedding party can increase financial stress.

Potential for Drama

While having more friends and family in your wedding party can be fun, it also increases the potential for drama and personality clashes. As the saying goes, "the more the merrier" may not always ring true, especially if your wedding party members have strong personalities or differing opinions on important decisions. It's essential to choose your wedding party members wisely and ensure they get along to avoid any unnecessary tension or conflict.

Time Management

With a larger wedding party, time management becomes more crucial and challenging. On the day of the wedding, coordinating a bigger group for photos, the ceremony, and other activities can be tricky. You may need to plan for more time to account for potential delays and ensure everyone is where they need to be when they need to be.

Overwhelming for Introverts

If you're an introverted person, having a large wedding party can be overwhelming. As an introvert, you may find yourself feeling more stressed and pressured by the prospect of coordinating and interacting with a large group of people. It's important to consider your own personality and comfort level when deciding on the size of your wedding party.

While a bigger wedding party has its perks, it's crucial to weigh the potential benefits against the added stress it may bring, especially if you identify as an introvert. Ultimately, the decision should be based on what feels comfortable and manageable for you and your partner.

Frequently asked questions