Etiquette Of Wedding Plus Ones: Navigating The Invitation List

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who to invite and whether to offer plus-ones. While some people assume that all guests should receive a plus-one, others argue that it is unnecessary, especially if the single guests know other people at the wedding. So, is it rude to not invite plus-ones to a wedding? Opinions vary, but most agree that certain factors should be considered, such as budget constraints, venue capacity, and the guest's relationship status. Ultimately, it is up to the couple's discretion, but establishing consistent rules can help avoid any favoritism or hard feelings.

Plus-one etiquette

The "plus-one" on a wedding invitation refers to allowing your invitee to bring an additional guest of their choosing. This is usually a date or romantic interest but could also be a family member escorting an older guest or a friend attending with a single person.

Who Gets a Plus-One?

There are no hard and fast rules about who gets a plus-one, and it's ultimately up to the couple's discretion. However, some guidelines to consider include:

• Anyone who is married: It's generally considered good etiquette to invite both parties in a married couple, even if you're closer to one person than the other.
• Engaged or long-term couples: If a couple is engaged, lives together, or has been dating for over a year, they should typically get a plus-one.
• Close friends: It's a nice gesture to offer the couple's closest friends the option of bringing a plus-one, especially if their partner is not already involved in the wedding.
• Wedding party members: It is common courtesy to offer a plus-one to anyone in the wedding party, as they have given their time, energy, and money to multiple events and activities.
• Single guests who don't know many people: If a single guest doesn't know many people at the wedding, a plus-one can make them feel more comfortable and ensure they have a good time.
• Guests travelling from far: For guests travelling from out of town or who live far away, a plus-one can make the trip more enjoyable and less lonely.

Who Doesn't Get a Plus-One?

Again, this is subjective, but some guests who typically don't receive a plus-one include:

• Guests who are casually dating: If an invited guest has a new partner or hasn't been in a relationship for more than a year, a plus-one is not necessary.
• Single guests who know other guests: If your single guest will know multiple people at the wedding and be seated with friends, they may not need a plus-one.
• Guests who are part of a family invitation: When addressing an invitation to a family, it typically includes children under the age of 18, and adult children don't need a plus-one.

How to Handle Plus-One Requests

When faced with guests asking for plus-ones, it's important to remain polite and consistent. You can politely decline by explaining your limitations, such as budget or venue capacity. You can also offer to check with your planner and get back to them, giving you time to discuss and make a final decision.

Wording Your Invitations

When it comes to wedding invitation wording, it's best to avoid stating "no plus-ones" directly on the invitation. Instead, use proper etiquette in addressing your invitations, and handle any questions or requests privately and individually. You can also use your wedding website to address the plus-one question politely and gently, stating something like, "Due to limited venue space, we unfortunately can't accommodate plus-ones beyond those named on the invitation."

Budget and space considerations

Budget and space are key factors when deciding whether to offer plus-ones at a wedding. While it would be ideal to offer every guest a plus-one, this is usually not feasible due to financial and venue constraints.

The cost of hosting additional guests can quickly add up, especially when it comes to food and drinks. It is important to consider whether your budget can accommodate the extra expense. In addition, the venue may have limited capacity, making it necessary to be selective about who receives a plus-one.

When deciding who to offer a plus-one to, it is recommended to establish consistent "rules" to avoid any hint of favouritism. For example, you could offer a plus-one to anyone who is married, engaged, living with their partner, or in a long-term relationship. Alternatively, you could offer plus-ones to guests who are travelling from out of town or who won't know many people at the wedding.

It is also worth considering the social dynamics of the evening and how the plus-ones might affect the overall atmosphere and seating arrangements. While it is generally not recommended to write "no plus-ones" on the invitations, it is important to handle any questions or requests from guests with grace and consistency.

Social dynamics and seating charts

When it comes to social dynamics and seating charts, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it's important to remember that your wedding party has given you their time, love, and energy, and they've also spent a lot of money on attire, lodging, and transportation. So, it's only fair to offer them a plus-one. This ensures they have a "buddy" to experience the night with and won't feel left out among couples.

Secondly, if you have single friends or family members attending, you may want to consider giving them a plus-one, especially if they are travelling a long distance and won't know many people at the wedding. This can make their experience more enjoyable and give them a chance to introduce you to someone special in their life. However, if your single guests already know multiple people at the wedding and will be seated with them, a plus-one may not be necessary.

Thirdly, it's essential to be consistent with your plus-one offerings. If one person in the wedding party is offered a plus-one, it's best to offer the same to everyone in the wedding party to avoid any hint of favoritism. The same goes for coworkers; if one gets a plus-one, it's only fair that everyone in that group gets one too.

Finally, when it comes to seating charts, consider grouping singles together who may not know many people, so they can mingle and feel more comfortable. If you have a mix of singles and couples attending, try to seat them together to create a balanced social dynamic. This way, your single guests won't feel left out, and your couple guests can still enjoy some quality time together.

Serious relationships vs casual dating

When it comes to weddings, there are a lot of factors to consider when deciding who to invite and whether to allow plus-ones. While it's not necessarily rude to decline plus-ones, it can be a delicate issue. The decision often depends on factors such as budget, venue capacity, and the couple's unique preferences.

Now, let's discuss the differences between serious relationships and casual dating:

Serious relationships, also known as intentional relationships, are characterised by a significant level of commitment between partners, often with a long-term vision or marriage in mind. They involve investing emotionally, making future plans, spending quality time together, and integrating each other into their respective social circles and families. Serious relationships are typically exclusive and monogamous, with both individuals prioritising each other's needs and fitting their lives around one another.

On the other hand, casual dating implies a more relaxed and flexible dynamic without the pressure of long-term commitment. Casual relationships often lack the expectation of consistent communication and exclusivity. Individuals in casual relationships may be open to seeing or being physically intimate with others. There is usually less prioritisation of the other person, and decisions are often made based on convenience and individual needs rather than mutual consideration. Casual relationships tend to focus on the present rather than long-term planning and typically lack the depth of communication and emotional intimacy found in serious relationships.

It's important to note that the lines between serious and casual relationships can sometimes blur, and modern dating has introduced even more nuances and fluidity. The key distinction lies in the level of commitment, exclusivity, and emotional investment each partner is willing to make. Ultimately, it's essential to be honest and communicate your intentions and boundaries to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Handling guest requests for plus-ones

Firstly, it is essential to be consistent with your decisions regarding plus-ones. For instance, if one person in the wedding party is offered a plus-one, it is advisable to extend the same courtesy to everyone in the wedding party. This avoids any hint of favouritism.

Secondly, consider the individual circumstances of your guests. If a guest is travelling a long distance to attend your wedding and won't know many people there, it might be a nice gesture to offer them a plus-one. This way, they can bring a friend to keep them company and make the trip more enjoyable.

Thirdly, be mindful of your budget and venue capacity. If you have a limited budget or your venue has restricted space, you may not be able to accommodate all plus-one requests. In this case, it is reasonable to prioritise those in serious relationships or those who don't know anyone else at the wedding.

When faced with guest requests for plus-ones, it is recommended to remain polite and consistent. You could say something like, "Let me check with my planner and see what our venue allows," to give yourself time to discuss the decision with your partner. If you decide not to offer a plus-one, a polite response might be, "We wish we could allow everyone to bring a plus-one, but due to some limitations, we can only accommodate wedding party members with a guest."

Remember, it is your wedding, and you should make decisions that align with your budget, venue, and personal preferences.

Frequently asked questions