Attending A Wedding? Here's What You Need To Know

Being invited to a wedding can be exciting, but it can also be a tricky situation to navigate. From figuring out the appropriate wedding etiquette to managing your own expectations and emotions, there's a lot to consider when you receive that invitation. Here are some tips to help you handle the excitement and challenges that come with being invited to a wedding.

RSVP promptly and accurately

When you receive a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly and accurately. Wedding invitations are usually sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, and sometimes even earlier for destination weddings. The couple has set the response deadline with careful consideration, as they need to finalise the seating chart, catering headcounts, and other arrangements. As a guest, it is your responsibility to make a mindful decision about your attendance and communicate it to the couple by the deadline.

If you are unable to attend, don't worry—it is not rude to decline a wedding invitation. You might have financial constraints or a busy work schedule that prevents your attendance. Whatever the reason, be thoughtful in your decision and let the couple know by RSVPing on time.

When filling out the RSVP card, follow the instructions provided by the couple. They might include a physical response card in the invitation, or they might request a digital response. If a physical card is provided, promptly fill in the blanks to indicate your attendance or absence. If there is no printed response card, use nice stationery to formally communicate your response. For example, " [Your name] accepts, with pleasure, the invitation of [couple's names] on [date]." If you are unable to attend, consider sending a warm and informal note to the couple.

For digital RSVPs, pay attention to the couple's preferences. They might have created a specific email address for responses or set up an online RSVP form on their wedding website. Follow their instructions to ensure your response is accurately recorded.

Plan your travel and accommodation

Planning your travel and accommodation is an important part of attending a wedding. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

Firstly, it is essential to respond to the wedding invitation promptly. Wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks in advance, or earlier if it is a destination wedding. The couple will set an RSVP deadline to help them organise the seating chart, catering, and other logistics, so make sure you don't delay and respond by the requested date.

Once you have confirmed your attendance, start planning your travel arrangements. If the wedding is in a different city or country, book your transportation and accommodation as early as possible to ensure availability and avoid last-minute price surges. Consider the couple's wedding website as a valuable resource for travel planning. It often includes important information such as suggested accommodation options, directions to the venue, and general destination details.

When booking your accommodation, take into account the wedding's timeline and location. Ideally, try to stay at a hotel or lodging option that is relatively close to the wedding venue to minimise travel time and potential delays on the day of the wedding. If the couple has reserved room blocks at specific hotels, take advantage of this to secure convenient and possibly discounted accommodation.

In addition to travel and lodging, consider other transportation needs during the wedding. If the ceremony and reception venues are different, there may be transportation provided by the couple, or you may need to arrange your own transport between the two locations. If parking is required, pay attention to any special instructions or parking restrictions provided by the couple.

Finally, be mindful of your schedule and plan to arrive at the wedding ceremony early. It is generally recommended that guests arrive at least 30 minutes before the invitation start time. This allows you to account for any travel delays, find parking, and take your seat without causing any disruptions. Arriving early also gives you the opportunity to admire the setting and enjoy the atmosphere before the ceremony commences.

Choose an appropriate gift

When choosing a gift for the happy couple, it is important to be thoughtful and generous. A good rule of thumb is to send a gift that is within your budget and that you know the couple will appreciate. Here are some tips to help you choose an appropriate gift:

• Consider the couple's interests and hobbies. If they are foodies, you could gift them a gourmet food basket or a gift card to their favourite restaurant. If they are homebodies, you could gift them a cosy blanket or a set of fluffy towels.
• Think about experiences they might enjoy. You could gift them a voucher for a cooking class, a wine tasting, or a spa day.
• If the couple has a wedding registry, this is a great place to start your search. The registry will give you an idea of the types of gifts they want and need. You can also pool funds with other guests to purchase a more expensive item on the registry.
• If you are crafty, you could make something special for the couple, like a quilt, a painting, or a scrapbook.
• For the couple who has everything, you could donate to a charity in their name or give them a gift card to their favourite store.
• If you are still unsure about what to give, money is always a good option. Put your gift in a card with a heartfelt note, and the couple can decide how to spend it.

Remember, the most important thing is to choose a gift that comes from the heart and shows the couple how much you care about them.

Dress according to the specified dress code

One of the most important things to do when you've been invited to a wedding is to follow the specified dress code. This is a key part of wedding guest etiquette and will ensure you fit in with the theme of the wedding and show respect to the couple getting married.

Most wedding invitations or wedding websites will include a dress code, which guests are expected to interpret and follow. The nature of the event is the first point to consider. For example, brunch weddings often call for softer colour palettes and floral patterns, while black-tie weddings or more formal affairs are accompanied by the most stringent guidelines for guests (such as tuxedos or darker suits for men, and gowns or high-end cocktail attire for women).

Seasonality also impacts dress codes – for instance, it would be unwise to wear a linen suit to a winter wedding. Guests should also be mindful of specific dress codes for multicultural weddings and religious ceremonies, where certain attire may be required or prohibited. If in doubt about the dress code, it is perfectly acceptable to ask the couple what they would like their guests to wear.

In addition to following the specified dress code, there are some general guidelines that wedding guests should adhere to when it comes to their attire. For female guests, it is usually best to avoid wearing head-to-toe white, unless instructed otherwise by the couple. Guests should also avoid wearing anything too flashy or provocative.

Be punctual on the day

Being punctual on the day of the wedding is one of the most important things to keep in mind as a wedding guest. It is considered a major faux pas to be "fashionably late" to a wedding. As a rule of thumb, guests should aim to arrive at least 30 minutes before the invitation start time of the ceremony. This allows for time to find parking, get seated, and take in the beautiful setting the couple has planned.

If you are attending a destination wedding, be sure to factor in additional travel time to account for any potential delays. It is always better to arrive a little early than to risk being late. If you are running late for whatever reason, be sure to inform the wedding hosts as soon as possible. They will need to know for the seating chart and headcount for the caterers.

If you do arrive after the ceremony has commenced, slip into the back row or wait for an usher to guide you to your seat. If the processional has started, wait until everyone has reached the altar before discreetly making your way to a seat.

It is also important to stay until the end of the wedding. As a general rule, guests are encouraged to stay until the cake-cutting. However, if the couple has chosen to forego this tradition, aim to stay at least through dinner and long enough to briefly congratulate the newlyweds.

Being punctual and present for the entire wedding is a sign of respect for the couple and their families, who have spent months, if not years, planning this special day.

Frequently asked questions