Attending An Indian Wedding? Here's What To Expect And Do

If you've received an invitation to an Indian wedding, you're in for a treat! Indian weddings are steeped in rich tradition and culture, and as a guest, you can expect to be immersed in new customs and rituals. Indian weddings are typically a multi-day affair, spanning anywhere from three to five days, with various pre- and post-wedding events and rituals. From vibrant attire and decor to delectable food and lively celebrations, Indian weddings are a true extravaganza. As you prepare to attend, here are some things to keep in mind and steps to take to ensure you're ready for the big day(s)!

Dressing appropriately for an Indian wedding

Indian weddings are a vibrant, colourful affair, steeped in tradition and ritual. If you've been invited to an Indian wedding, you may be wondering what to wear. Here is some advice on how to dress appropriately and respectfully for an Indian wedding.

Dress Code

Indian weddings usually have a dress code, so be sure to check the invitation. Most commonly, the invitation will request traditional Indian clothing. For women, this could be a sari, lehenga/choli, or salwar kameez. Men are usually asked to wear a kurta-pajama set or sherwani, with formal trousers. These outfits can be rented if you don't want to buy them.

If the dress code is "Indian formal", this means a formal Indian-inspired gown or cocktail dress for women, and an elegant suit for men. A "semi-formal" dress code means a Western-style formal dress or cocktail dress for women, and dress pants with a button-down shirt and sports jacket for men.

Colours

When choosing colours, it is best to opt for bright, bold shades. Red is usually reserved for the bride, and black and white are considered colours of mourning or bad luck, so these should be avoided.

Jewellery

Jewellery is an important part of an Indian wedding outfit. Women often wear bindis and bangles, with a pair of chand balis or jhumkas earrings. A necklace with an Indian touch, such as a simple gold chain with a pendant, is also a perfect accessory. Payals and mang tikkas can also be worn with a wedding sari or lehenga. Male guests might choose a gold chain or jewelled buttons to complete their outfit.

Modesty

It is important to dress modestly when attending an Indian wedding. This means no bare shoulders or knees. For Western attire, women should avoid short skirts and tight or revealing tops, and men should opt for a colourful button-down shirt rather than a plain white one.

Hair and Makeup

For hair and makeup, it is best to go for a more natural, minimal look. Avoid heavy contouring or bold lips, and instead opt for a soft, dewy look. With hair, it is respectful to have it mostly down, perhaps with a braid or soft waves.

Footwear

As you will likely be removing your shoes at some point during the wedding, it is best to wear simple, comfortable footwear. Sandals or flats are a good option, and they can easily be dressed up with some sparkly or colourful accessories.

Gifts

Finally, it is customary to give a gift to the happy couple. Money in a pretty envelope or embroidered bag is traditional, but other gifts such as decorative items, jewellery, or silver items are also appropriate.

Remember, if in doubt, ask the couple or their family members for advice on what to wear. They will appreciate your interest in their culture and your willingness to participate respectfully.

Understanding the wedding schedule

Indian weddings are known for their vibrant colours, food, ceremonies, rituals, and dances, all blended together in a long and large celebration. The wedding schedule is packed with events and rituals, each with its own significance. Here is a breakdown of what to expect:

Pre-Wedding Events

Indian weddings typically include multiple pre-wedding events, such as the Mehndi ceremony (Mehendi), Sangeet, and Haldi. These events usually take place over the first two days of the wedding celebrations. The Mehndi ceremony involves the bride and her female friends and family members having intricate henna patterns drawn on their hands and feet. The Sangeet is a lively musical party with dance performances by family and friends. The Haldi ceremony involves applying turmeric paste to the bride and groom, which is believed to bless them with good luck and a long-lasting marriage.

The Baraat

On the wedding day, the groom's procession, known as the Baraat, makes its way to the wedding venue, usually the bride's house. The groom, dressed in his wedding attire, rides a decorated horse or elephant, accompanied by his family and friends. This procession is a festive and joyous occasion, with much dancing and celebration.

The Wedding Ceremony

The wedding ceremony itself can last several hours, depending on the number of customs included. It involves various rituals and traditions, such as the exchange of flower garlands (Jaimala) between the bride and groom, the bride's grand reveal or kanya aagaman, and the exchange of vows. The ceremony may be held outdoors or in a ballroom, with a fire (agni) burning to symbolise the highest degree of witness. The couple will take seven steps together (Saptapadi), each step representing a stage of life and their commitment to each other.

The Reception

The reception is a grand celebration with dinner, cake cutting, dancing, and blessings for the newlyweds. It usually starts in the evening and goes on until late at night. It is a fun and festive occasion, with guests dancing and enjoying delicious food. The reception is also when gifts are traditionally given to the couple, with money in a fancy envelope being the most common gift.

Post-Wedding Events

The Vidaai is an emotional ceremony where the bride bids farewell to her family as she leaves to join her husband's family. This marks an important transition and is often a tearful moment. There may also be other post-wedding rituals and parties, extending the celebrations over several days.

Learning about Indian wedding traditions

Indian weddings are steeped in rich tradition and ritual, with each custom holding deep religious and sentimental significance. Here are some of the most common and significant traditions you may encounter at an Indian wedding:

Mehndi/Henna Ceremony

The Mehndi ceremony is one of the most common pre-wedding events, where the bride and her female friends and family members have intricate henna patterns drawn on their hands and feet. It is believed that the darker the henna stains, the more the bride will be loved by her husband and mother-in-law.

Choice of Attire

Indian weddings usually have dress codes indicating the formality and traditional style of attire expected. For women, traditional Indian clothing like saris, lehengas/cholis, or salwar kameez are often requested. Men typically wear a kurta-pajama set or sherwani, with silk kurtas embellished with embroidery or gold accents. It is important to dress modestly, avoiding bare shoulders, knees, and revealing outfits.

Sangeet

The Sangeet is a lively pre-wedding party with dance performances, music, and food to celebrate the couple. It is a chance for family and friends to come together and rejoice before the wedding.

Baraat/Barat

The Baraat is the groom's wedding procession, where he arrives at the ceremony riding a decorated horse or elephant, accompanied by his groomsmen and family. This procession is a grand entrance for the groom, often including dancing and celebrations through the streets.

Jaimala/Exchange of Garlands

The Jaimala is the exchange of flower garlands between the bride and groom, symbolizing their acceptance of each other as spouses. This usually takes place at the wedding altar and is a significant part of the ceremony.

Vidaai

The Vidaai is an emotional ceremony where the bride bids farewell to her family and joins the groom's family. This marks an important transition in the wedding rituals.

Circling the Sacred Fire

The couple takes seven revolutions around a sacred fire, solidifying their marriage vows and commitments. This ritual, known as Mangal Phera, represents the couple's journey through life together and is accompanied by the reading of seven verses.

Shoe Stealing

In a playful tradition, the bride's sisters steal the groom's shoes after the ceremony and exchange them for money as a prank. This is a fun way to involve the families and add a touch of mischief to the celebrations.

Food and Spices

Food is an essential part of any Indian wedding, with menus featuring a variety of traditional dishes like biryani, samosas, tandoori chicken, dal, naan, gulab jamun, and more. The spices and complex flavors take center stage, and the food is usually vegetarian or offers vegetarian options out of respect for Hindu customs.

Gifts and Blessings

Monetary gifts presented in fancy envelopes are customary at Indian weddings. Gold jewellery is also considered auspicious, and gifts are given to provide blessings and best wishes to the couple.

Knowing what food and drink to expect

Indian weddings are known for their vibrant rituals and delicious food. The food served at an Indian wedding is an essential part of the celebration and is usually a variety of traditional Indian cuisine. Here is what you can expect to eat and drink at an Indian wedding:

The Food

The food served at Indian weddings is often vegetarian or offers vegetarian options out of respect for Hindu customs. The complexity of flavours and spices takes centre stage at an Indian wedding feast. Here are some common dishes you can expect:

• Biryani: a spiced rice dish layered with meat or vegetables.
• Samosa: fried pastries stuffed with potatoes and spices.
• Tandoori Chicken: chicken marinated in yogurt and spices and grilled in a tandoor.
• Dal: lentil curry stew.
• Naan: soft, leavened flatbread freshly baked in a tandoor.
• Gulab Jamun: deep-fried milk balls soaked in rose syrup.

The Drinks

Indian weddings traditionally do not serve alcohol out of respect for elders and religious beliefs. However, some modern Indian weddings may offer a full bar or cash bar at the reception. If alcohol is served, it is important to drink in moderation to avoid causing offence. Here are some non-alcoholic drinks you can expect:

• Chai Tea: spiced black tea with milk.
• Mango Lassi: sweetened mango yogurt drink.

How to be a respectful guest

Indian weddings are a vibrant, colourful, and joyous occasion, steeped in rich tradition and ritual. If you've been invited to an Indian wedding, you're in for a treat! Here are some tips on how to be a respectful guest:

Dress Code

Indian weddings usually have a dress code, so be sure to follow it to show respect to the couple and their families. Traditional Indian clothing is often requested, such as saris, lehengas/cholis, or salwar kameez for women, and kurta-pajama sets or sherwanis for men. Avoid wearing white, as that colour is reserved for the bride, and steer clear of black and red, which are considered colours of mourning or are traditionally worn by the bride. Western formal or semi-formal attire is also sometimes acceptable, but always check the invitation or with the couple's family members.

Guest Involvement

Indian weddings often involve a lot of guest participation, so be prepared to get involved! This could include witnessing and blessing the couple at key moments, joining them on the dance floor, or partaking in the wedding feast. It is considered respectful to accept the food offered and to try a variety of dishes with an open mind.

Traditions and Rituals

Indian weddings are known for their colourful rituals, and each ceremony has a significant meaning. Take the time to learn about the customs beforehand so you can fully appreciate and enjoy the wedding. For example, the Mehndi ceremony involves the bride and her female friends and family members having intricate henna patterns drawn on their hands and feet. Understanding the symbolism behind these traditions will enhance your experience.

Gifts

Giving gifts is a common tradition at Indian weddings, and money in a pretty envelope or embroidered bag is considered thoughtful. The amount should be an auspicious number ending in 1, and it should be given directly to the couple or their parents. Other appropriate gifts include gold jewellery, decorative items, or silver gifts, which are said to bring good fortune.

Photography

While it is usually fine to take photos at an Indian wedding, refrain from doing so during private prayer ceremonies or when the couple is at the altar. Always check with the wedding party or family members before taking pictures if you are unsure.

Plus Ones

Indian weddings are typically open to all invited guests' spouses and partners, so feel free to bring your significant other if your invitation allows a plus one. Just be sure to include them on the RSVP or wedding website.

Etiquette

As a respectful guest, it is important to follow certain etiquette guidelines. Dress modestly, avoiding bare shoulders and knees. Avoid public displays of affection, and cover your head during religious ceremonies. Do not kiss or dance with the bride, as she is expected to remain demure on her wedding day.

Remember, if you have any questions or are unsure about anything, don't hesitate to ask the couple or their families. They will appreciate your interest in their culture and your willingness to learn and participate respectfully.

Frequently asked questions