Best Man Speech: Reading Or Winging It?

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties is delivering a memorable speech that reflects the groom's personality and celebrates his relationship with the bride. While it's generally recommended that you memorise your speech, is it okay to read it instead?

The short answer is yes, it is perfectly acceptable to read from notes or bullet points during your best man's speech. In fact, having your speech written down can take the pressure off and ensure you don't forget anything important. However, it's crucial to maintain eye contact with your audience and not get too caught up in reading word-for-word from a piece of paper. Practising your speech beforehand will help you feel more comfortable and ensure you don't spend the entire time glued to your notes.

Reading vs delivering: It's okay to read, but don't forget to engage the audience

Being the best man at a wedding is a big deal. It comes with a lot of responsibilities, including giving a speech. The best man's speech is often the last one, and it's meant to be memorable, funny, appropriate, and unique. While it's perfectly acceptable to read your speech, it's important to remember that reading isn't the same as delivering. Here are some tips on how to strike the right balance between reading and engaging your audience.

Reading your speech is okay

It is perfectly fine to read your best man's speech from paper, index cards, or bullet points. In fact, many people prefer having their speech written down to ensure they don't forget anything important. Reading from a script can take the pressure off, especially if you're nervous or prone to memory blocks. It's a good idea to have a physical copy of your speech rather than relying on your phone, as it shows that you've prepared and taken the task seriously.

Practice makes perfect

While reading your speech is acceptable, it's important to practice beforehand. Stand in front of a mirror and pay attention to how often you look up from the paper and how comfortable you feel. Then, practice in front of trusted friends or family members and ask for feedback. The goal is to deliver a speech that sounds like a polished conversation with the audience, not a monotone recital.

Engage with your audience

Remember that your audience wants to connect with what you're saying. They don't want to simply watch you read off a piece of paper. Make eye contact, use hand gestures, and vary your tone to keep their interest. It's okay to look down at your speech occasionally, but try not to keep your eyes glued to the paper.

Keep it short and sweet

A best man's speech should ideally be kept short and sweet, aiming for around three to five minutes. This is enough time to capture the essence of your relationship with the groom and your wishes for the newlyweds without losing the audience's attention.

Don't forget to prepare

While some people may be tempted to "wing it," preparation is key. Give yourself a few weeks, or even a couple of months, to write and practice your speech. Write a draft, let it sit for a day or two, and then return to it with fresh eyes and new ideas. Repeat this process until you're happy with the result.

In conclusion, while it's okay to read your best man's speech, it's important to remember that reading and delivering are two different things. By practicing, engaging with your audience, and keeping your speech concise, you'll be able to deliver a memorable and well-received speech that everyone will fondly remember.

Preparation: Write your speech in advance, but don't over-prepare

The key to a good best man's speech is to put some thought into it. While spontaneity can be good sometimes, it's not ideal for a great speech. It's recommended to give yourself a few weeks, or even a month or two, to write your speech. This will allow you enough time to write a first draft, and then go back and edit it with fresh eyes and new ideas.

It's important to know the groom well and to reflect on your relationship with him. You should also be mindful of the audience and the guest list when crafting your speech. Keep in mind that the best man is usually the last person to speak, so aim to keep your speech short and sweet. Three to five minutes is the ideal length, as anything longer will likely cause the audience to lose interest.

While it's a good idea to write your speech in advance, you don't want to over-prepare. You want your speech to feel natural and authentic. The words should be what you "feel", not what you memorized. Practising your delivery in advance is essential, but don't get too caught up in memorizing every word. Instead, jot down bullet points or key ideas that you want to cover, and use these as a guide during your speech. This will give you the flexibility to ad-lib if needed and help you appear more natural and engaging.

Practising in front of a mirror is a great way to start. Pay attention to how often you're looking up from your notes and whether you feel comfortable with your facial expressions. As your confidence increases, practise in front of a small group of trusted friends or family members. Ask them for feedback on your eye contact, posture, and hand gestures. The goal is to deliver a speech that sounds like a polished conversation with the audience, not a monotone recital.

In summary, writing your speech in advance is crucial, but don't over-prepare to the point that your delivery becomes stilted or unnatural. Practise your speech, but focus on connecting with the audience and engaging them with your authentic, heartfelt words.

Length: Keep it short and sweet

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around three to five minutes. This is long enough to include a few key points and stories, but not too long that you lose the attention of your audience.

A good way to ensure your speech doesn't exceed this time limit is to write out your speech and practice reading it aloud. This will help you get a sense of the timing and make any necessary adjustments. You can also ask for feedback from trusted friends or family members to get a sense of how your speech is landing.

When it comes to the content of your speech, it's important to be concise and to the point. Focus on capturing the essence of your relationship with the groom and your wishes for the newlyweds. Avoid rambling or including too many details that may cause your audience to lose interest.

Additionally, it's a good idea to keep your speech structured and organized. Introduce yourself, thank the guests for coming, and share a few stories or anecdotes about the groom. You can also talk about how the groom has changed since meeting his bride and what love has done for him. Finally, end with a toast to the happy couple.

Remember, it's better to keep your speech short and sweet than to risk losing your audience's attention. So, focus on delivering a concise and engaging speech that captures the most important points and wishes for the couple.

Content: Avoid controversial topics and don't embarrass the groom

As the best man, your speech is a pivotal part of the wedding reception. It's an honour to be chosen, and your speech should reflect that. Here are some tips to ensure your speech stays clear of controversial topics and doesn't embarrass the groom.

Avoid Controversial Topics

It's important to be mindful of the topics you choose to include in your speech. Steer clear of anything that could be deemed offensive or inappropriate. This includes jokes about the bride, ex-partners, previous marriages, divorce, drinking, drugs, gambling, STDs, and adult humour, especially about the honeymoon. Keep the tone light-hearted and good-natured.

Don't Embarrass the Groom

While it's traditional to make a few jokes at the groom's expense, be mindful that these are kept in good taste and are not too personal or brutal. Avoid any inside jokes or stories that might make the bride's family uncomfortable. You want to celebrate the groom, not roast him. Keep the mood positive and focus on his good qualities.

Keep it Balanced

Your speech should have a mix of humour and sentiment. It's good to be funny, but also include some heartfelt and emotional lines. You can share entertaining stories about the groom, but make sure they are appropriate and won't cause any discomfort. It's a fine line to tread, so be cautious and consider running your speech by a friend beforehand to get a second opinion.

Keep it Short and Sweet

A best man's speech should be concise. Aim for around 3-7 minutes. This is enough time to include all the necessary elements without overstaying your welcome. The guests will appreciate your brevity, especially if they are eager to eat or drink!

Prepare and Practice

Don't leave your speech until the last minute. Give yourself plenty of time to write and revise it. Practise delivering it, too, whether that's in front of a mirror or to a group of friends. The more you familiarise yourself with your speech, the more confident you'll feel on the day.

Stick to the Structure

A good best man's speech should follow a basic structure:

• Greeting and self-introduction
• Gratitude: Thank the couple, their families, and the guests
• Congratulate the couple
• Share stories about the groom
• Compliment the bride
• Offer well-wishes and advice
• Toast the newlyweds
• Closing statement

Practice: Rehearse in front of a mirror and with friends

Practising your best man's speech is crucial to ensure that you deliver it confidently and engagingly. Here are some tips to help you rehearse effectively:

Rehearse in front of a mirror:

Start by practising your speech in front of a mirror. This allows you to observe your facial expressions and body language. Pay attention to your eye contact, posture, and hand gestures. Make adjustments as needed to ensure you come across as relaxed, confident, and engaging. Practising in front of a mirror also helps you become familiar with the speech content and improve your delivery.

Rehearse with friends:

After you've gained some confidence by practising in front of the mirror, it's time to move on to a live audience. Choose one or two trusted friends or family members to be your first audience. They can provide valuable feedback on various aspects of your speech, such as eye contact, posture, and the appropriateness of your jokes. Friends can also help you identify areas where you need to inject more energy or vary your tone to keep your audience interested.

Repeat and refine:

Rehearse your speech multiple times, making adjustments as needed based on your observations and feedback. Each rehearsal will help you become more comfortable with your speech and improve your delivery. Remember, the goal is to make your speech sound like a polished conversation with the audience, not a monotone recital.

Stay flexible:

While practising, it's essential to strike a balance between sticking to your script and allowing for some flexibility. Your rehearsals should help you become familiar enough with your speech that you can look up from your notes and make eye contact with your audience. Practise speaking confidently and clearly, even when you need to refer to your notes. This will ensure that your speech sounds natural and engaging, rather than scripted and stiff.

Manage your nerves:

If you're feeling nervous about public speaking, remember that practising will help you feel more confident and comfortable. However, on the day of the wedding, if you're still feeling anxious, try taking a few deep breaths, having a sip of water, or stepping away to a quiet place for a moment to centre yourself. Remember, it's normal to feel nervous, and your rehearsals will help ensure that you deliver a great speech despite those nerves.

Frequently asked questions