Best Man's Speech: Keep It Short And Respectful?

Being asked to give a best man's speech is a big deal and a great honour. However, it can also be a nerve-wracking experience. The best man is expected to be funny and to reveal some awkward truths, and there is a lot riding on the speech as it is one of the highlights of the wedding day. The key to a good best man's speech is to be heartfelt, funny, appropriate, and unique, and most importantly, not too long. A best man's speech should be kept short and sweet, with the optimum length being between five and ten minutes. A long-winded speech will cause the audience to lose interest and is likely to be considered disrespectful.

How long should a best man's speech be?

There is no definitive answer to the question of how long a best man's speech should be, but there is a consensus that it should be short. Sources suggest that the optimum length falls somewhere between two minutes and ten minutes, with five to seven minutes being the most frequently recommended duration.

The length of a best man's speech will depend on a few factors, such as the number of other speakers, the time of day the speech is being given, and whether the wedding is running to schedule. If there are three or four speakers, for example, the best man's speech should be around seven to eight minutes. If there are five speakers, it should be trimmed to around six minutes.

The best man should also be mindful of the audience's attention span. A long-winded speech will lose the audience's interest, and once their attention starts to drift, it can be hard to get them back.

What should a best man's speech include?

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, but it's important to get it right. Here are some tips on what to include:

• Keep it short and sweet: A best man's speech should ideally be no longer than 10 minutes, with some sources suggesting that shorter is better. Aim for between 5 and 10 minutes, or even less if there are multiple speakers.
• Prepare in advance: While it's good to be confident, avoid winging it. Write your speech down and practice beforehand.
• Introduce yourself: Start by telling the audience who you are and how you know the groom.
• Thank everyone: Thank the people who made the wedding possible, including the couple and their parents.
• Explain your relationship with the groom: Share a funny or entertaining story about how you met the groom and what your relationship is like.
• Share anecdotes: Tell a few lighthearted and appropriate stories or anecdotes about the groom. Avoid anything that might embarrass him or his family, such as stories about exes or risky behaviour.
• Compliment the bride: Include a compliment about the bride and explain why the couple is a good match.
• End with a toast: Finish your speech by proposing a toast to the happy couple and their future together.
• Be yourself: Don't try to be someone you're not. Be genuine, and the audience will appreciate it.
• Stay sober: It's okay to have a drink, but don't get drunk and make inappropriate jokes or slur your speech.

How should a best man deliver the speech?

Being a best man is an honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable speech that will be well-received by the couple, their families, and the guests. Here are some tips on how to achieve that:

Preparation is key

While it's not necessary to memorise your speech word for word, it's important to practise beforehand. Write down your speech and practise reading it out loud. This will help you become familiar with the content and make any necessary tweaks. It's also a good idea to ask a few friends to listen to your speech and give you feedback. They can help identify areas that may need improvement or sensitive topics that should be avoided.

Keep it short and sweet

A best man's speech should typically be kept under 10 minutes. Aim for a length of around 5 to 7 minutes to maintain the audience's attention and interest. Focus on including meaningful and entertaining anecdotes rather than rambling or trying to cover too much ground. Remember, it's better to leave the audience wanting more than to test their patience.

Structure your speech effectively

Start by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship with the groom. This helps provide context, especially for guests who may not know you well. Include a mix of funny and heartfelt moments, but be mindful of the timing. Don't spend too much time on lengthy stories; instead, focus on delivering impactful and concise anecdotes that showcase the groom's personality and your friendship.

Be mindful of the content

While it's expected that the best man will reveal some awkward truths and include light-hearted jokes, it's important to maintain a balance. Avoid explicit references to sensitive topics such as ex-partners, drugs, or personal breakdowns. These topics can be alluded to in a good-natured way, but always ask the groom if there are any subjects that are off-limits. Remember, your goal is to celebrate the couple and not embarrass them or their families.

Be confident and authentic

While it's natural to feel nervous, try to deliver your speech with confidence. Speak clearly and at a pace that is easy for the audience to follow. It's okay to refer to notes or prompt cards, but avoid reading directly from a piece of paper. Making eye contact and connecting with the audience will make your speech more engaging. Additionally, don't feel pressured to be someone you're not. Be yourself, and your authenticity will shine through.

Compliment the couple

A best man's speech is an opportunity to celebrate the couple and wish them well. Make sure to include sincere compliments about the bride and groom, highlighting their positive attributes and why they are a good match. This will create a warm and heartfelt moment that the couple and guests will appreciate.

End with a toast

Conclude your speech by proposing a toast to the happy couple. This is a traditional way to wrap up your speech and leave the audience with a positive sentiment. It's a simple yet effective way to honour the newlyweds and wish them a happy future together.

What tone should a best man's speech have?

The best man's speech should be heartfelt, funny, appropriate, and unique. It should not be too long, and it should be to the point. It is important to prepare your speech in advance and not give it off-the-cuff. It is also a good idea to write it down, but don't flip through pages as this will make people lose interest. Be yourself, and if you're usually not a joker, don't try to crack jokes. Be confident and tactful. Mention the bride and avoid dirty jokes, sex, or exes. Keep the speech short and practice beforehand.

The best man's speech is a transition point between the afternoon of polite conversation and the evening of dancing, flirting, and ranting. It should be a balancing act, edgy but not mean. You can be shocking, but in a good-natured way. It's also important to be complimentary.

The speech should be structured with an introduction, a story, and a conclusion that brings it back to the original concept. It should be short and sweet, with three stories maximum. It should also be prepared with notes to hand and practised several times. It should be funny, with timing, surprise, and points that everyone can relate to.

The best man should also remember to thank the people who have gone before them, and those who have paid for the wedding. They should also introduce themselves and explain their relationship to the groom. It's a good idea to get a cheer from people who have travelled to be there, and to get a good joke in early.

The best man should also ask the groom if anything is off-limits and stick to it. They should also read the room and avoid dropping offensive or embarrassing stories. The speech should be kept under ten minutes, and the best man should not get too drunk before delivering it.

How should a best man prepare for the speech?

Being asked to be someone's best man is a big deal and it entails a lot of things, including giving a best man's speech. Here are some tips on how to prepare for and deliver a memorable best man's speech:

• Prepare in advance: Start preparing your speech well in advance. Write it down, but don't read it word for word—use bullet points instead. Nothing makes people lose interest faster than having to flip through pages.
• Be yourself: If you're not usually a joker, don't try to crack jokes. Be true to yourself, and your speech will be well-received.
• Stay sober: While it's okay to have a drink or two, don't get drunk. You don't want to make inappropriate jokes or slur your words.
• Keep it short and sweet: People's attention spans are short, and they don't want to listen to a long-winded speech. Aim for around 5 minutes, or up to 10 minutes maximum.
• Be tactful: Avoid dirty jokes, sex, or stories about the groom's exes. Remember, you're not trying to embarrass his grandma!
• Practice: Rehearse your speech so you can speak confidently without constantly referring to your notes. Practise in front of a mirror or with a small group of people to get feedback.
• Introduce yourself: Start your speech by telling the audience who you are and how you know the groom.
• Thank everyone: Thank the people who made the wedding possible, including the couple and their parents.
• Share a story: Tell a funny or entertaining story about how you met the groom or how he met his bride. Make sure it's not too long—a few lines of hard-hitting humour will be more effective than a 10-minute story.
• Compliment the couple: Talk about the great things the newlyweds have together and why they are a good match.
• End with a toast: Finish your speech by proposing a common toast to the couple and their future.
• Know your place: Be aware of when your speech falls in the lineup and what other speakers are covering. If you're speaking last, keep in mind that the guests' attention spans may be waning, so make it short and funny.
• Find a core concept: Centre your speech around a theme or concept that ties your stories together. This could be a specific time or place you share with the groom, a ritual you have together, or something unique about him.
• Make it about the couple: Every story you tell should reveal something about the groom and/or the bride. Avoid stories that are only funny to you and the groom—instead, think about the audience and give enough context so they can relate.
• Deliver with confidence: It's okay to use notes or prompt cards, but don't just read your speech. Make eye contact with the audience and speak confidently. If your hand is shaking, use an iPad or device to hold your notes.
• Time it right: Have a rough version of your speech ready at least a week before the wedding. Read it out loud to tweak and shorten it. Aim for a high intensity of emotion, with a laugh, poignant moment, surprise, or sentimental moment every minute.
• Structure your speech: Start by thanking those who spoke before you. Then, thank the couple and their parents, and anyone else you want to acknowledge. Get a joke in early and position yourself by explaining your relationship with the groom. Set the scene by introducing your core concept. Share your stories, making sure each one tells something different about the groom. Bring it back to the original concept and compliment the couple. End with a toast.

Frequently asked questions