Unveiling The Female Best Man: Breaking Traditions

It is becoming more common for brides and grooms to have a member of the opposite sex in their wedding party. A woman can be a best man, often called a best woman, and a man can be a bridesmaid, often called a groomsman. There are many different titles for these roles, including Man of Honour, groomsmaid, and bridesman. It is important to consider the duties of a best man and whether a female best friend would be comfortable performing them, such as planning the stag and writing a speech. The bride or groom should also consider how this might affect the wedding's aesthetic and whether their partner is comfortable with the choice.

What should a female best man be called?

There are a variety of titles that can be used for a female best man, and the choice is ultimately up to the couple getting married. The most common term is "best woman", but other options include “groomsmaid”, “grooms(wo)man”, “grooms' chick”, “grooms' woman”, “man of honour”, “best lady”, “best maid”, “best matron”, “groom's attendant”, “groom's maid of honour”, and “groom's right honourable señora & mistress of ceremonies”.

The title “grooms(wo)man” is often used when there is a mixed-gender wedding party, with both men and women on each side. “Grooms' chick” is also used when there are multiple women on the groom's side. “Groomsmaid” is usually used to refer to a woman in the groom's party, and “bridesman” to refer to a man in the bride's party.

The choice of title may also depend on the duties the female best man will perform. For example, if she will be involved in planning the stag, giving a speech, and holding the wedding rings, "best man" may be the most appropriate title. If she will be involved in planning the hen, she may be referred to as the "maid of honour".

Ultimately, the title of "female best man" can be whatever the couple and the person in question are most comfortable with, and there are plenty of options to choose from!

What should she wear?

When it comes to what a female best man should wear, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it's important to discuss what she feels comfortable wearing and to keep within the chosen colour theme for the wedding. Here are some options:

• Females' tuxedo or suit: She can opt for a tuxedo or suit that matches the style and colouring of the other groomsmen. This is a popular choice and can be a stylish look, with celebrities rocking this style on the red carpet.
• Matching dress with bridesmaids: If she is close to the bride, she may prefer to wear a dress that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. This can create a cohesive look for the bridal party and avoid any potential issues with picture symmetry.
• Dress matching the groomsmen's colour code: Another option is to wear a dress that matches the colour scheme of the groomsmen. This can create a unified look while still allowing her to wear a dress.
• Jumpsuit: A female best man could also consider wearing a jumpsuit in the same colour as the groomsmen. This can be a stylish alternative to a dress or suit.
• Groomsmaid dress: If there are other women standing with the groom, the best woman could wear a dress that matches the groomsmaids' outfits. This creates a cohesive look for the female attendants.
• Boutonnière or corsage: Regardless of what she wears, the best woman can choose to wear a boutonnière like the groomsmen or a corsage like the bridesmaids to further differentiate her role.

Ultimately, the decision on what to wear should be made in consultation with the bride, groom, and the best woman herself, taking into account comfort, style, and the overall aesthetic of the wedding party.

What gift should you get her?

It is becoming more common to have a female best man, also known as a "best woman", and there are plenty of gift ideas to celebrate her role in your wedding. Here are some thoughtful and unique options to consider:

Personalised Gifts

A thoughtful gift idea to commemorate her role as your best woman is something personalised. For example, you could get her a piece of jewellery engraved with a meaningful message or a symbol that represents an inside joke or shared interest. Another idea is to gift her a compass with an engraved message, symbolising your shared adventures and the new journey you are embarking on.

Experience Gifts

If your best woman is an adventure seeker, consider gifting her an experience or an activity that she can cherish forever. This could be in the form of tickets to a concert or a spa day, or even a gift card for an Airbnb stay so she can explore a new destination.

Practical Gifts

If your best woman is a practical person who appreciates utility, there are numerous options to consider. You could gift her a cosy robe, comfortable slippers, or a plush towel set. For the tech-savvy woman, a portable charger or a Bluetooth speaker could be a useful gift. Alternatively, for the woman who loves to cook, consider gifting her a cookbook or a kitchen appliance.

Sentimental Gifts

A sentimental gift is always a wonderful way to show your appreciation. You could frame a photo of the two of you and include a heartfelt note on the back, or gift her a scrapbook filled with memories of your friendship. Alternatively, you could give her a customised keyring or a piece of jewellery with her initials or birth flower.

Self-Care Gifts

For the woman who deserves some relaxation and pampering, consider gifting her a set of luxury candles, a cosy robe, or a selection of skincare products. If she enjoys reading, you could give her a book on a topic she's interested in or a journal for her to record her thoughts.

Remember, the best gift is one that is thoughtful and shows your gratitude for her being a part of your special day.

What activities should be planned?

It's not unusual to have a female best man, and there are plenty of options for what to call her, including "best woman", "groomsmaid", "grooms's right honourable señora & mistress of ceremonies", or "best chick".

Activities to Plan

The best woman can be involved in all the usual best man duties, including planning the stag party, assisting with wedding attire shopping, and holding the wedding rings on the day.

If the best woman is joining the lads on the stag, put some extra consideration into the accommodation choice to ensure the sleeping arrangements are suitable.

If the best woman is organising the stag, she'll need to choose a great location, plan some top activities, and sort out the nightlife.

If the stag planning is proving tricky, consider a "sten do" instead—a mash-up of the hen and stag parties.

If you're concerned about the suitability of your chosen activities, ask your friend or a destination specialist for advice.

Outfit

There's flexibility when it comes to what your best woman can wear. She might opt for a female tuxedo or suit, or she could wear a dress that matches the colour code of the groomsmen. Alternatively, she could wear a dress to match the bridesmaids.

How will the bride react?

The bride's reaction to the idea of a female best man will depend on several factors, including her relationship with the groom, her views on gender roles, and her level of comfort with the friend in question. Here are some possible scenarios:

• Complete Support: The bride may be fully on board with the idea, especially if she knows and gets along well with the groom's friend. She might recognise the importance of their friendship and be happy to have her future husband's closest companion by his side on their wedding day. She may also appreciate the modern approach of breaking free from traditional gender norms.
• Initial Hesitation: There is a chance the bride might feel hesitant or unsure about the idea, especially if she comes from a more traditional background or has concerns about gender dynamics within the wedding party. In this case, open communication between the couple is key. Discussing the reasons behind the groom's choice and addressing any potential worries the bride may have can help clear the air and foster understanding.
• Jealousy or Discomfort: In some cases, the bride might experience feelings of jealousy or discomfort, particularly if the female friend in question is very close to the groom. It is essential to acknowledge and address these feelings honestly and respectfully. The groom should assure his fiancée that his friend is important to him but poses no threat to their relationship.
• Practical Considerations: The bride might also have practical concerns, such as how this arrangement will impact wedding aesthetics, group photos, and the overall dynamic of the wedding party. These are valid points to discuss and can be resolved through open dialogue and compromise. For example, the couple might decide on attire that aligns with the wedding colour scheme while still allowing the female best man to stand out.
• Encouragement and Enthusiasm: In some instances, the bride might be the one to suggest having a female best man, especially if she has a close male friend she wishes to honour. She might encourage the groom to do the same, creating a balanced and inclusive wedding party that celebrates their diverse friendships.

It is important to remember that every bride is unique, and her reaction will depend on her individual personality, values, and relationship dynamics. Open and honest communication between the couple is essential to ensuring that everyone feels respected and valued during the wedding planning process.

Frequently asked questions