Crafting Wedding Invites: Reception-Only Etiquette

There are many reasons why a couple might choose to have a small, intimate wedding ceremony and a larger reception afterward. Perhaps they're getting married in a small dream chapel, or they're having a destination wedding and a stateside reception, or they're getting married in a private ceremony due to space or health constraints. Whatever the reason, it's crucial to make sure that reception-only guests know they are not invited to the ceremony. The key to phrasing this type of invitation is to announce your marriage, not invite guests to witness it. For example, The newlyweds [Names of the couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage.

Create two separate guest lists: one for the wedding ceremony and reception, and one for just the reception

Creating two separate guest lists is a crucial step when planning a wedding with a reception-only component. Here are some detailed instructions to help you navigate this process:

Step 1: Define Your Ceremony Guest List

Start by deciding on the size and scope of your ceremony guest list. This list can be as small or intimate as you wish, ranging from just immediate family members to a slightly larger group of close family and friends. It's important to remember that everyone on this list should also be included in the reception guest list. Consider your budget and venue capacity when finalising this list, as these factors will influence the overall number of guests you can accommodate.

Step 2: Expand Your Reception Guest List

Once you've determined your ceremony guest list, it's time to expand your horizons for the reception. This is where you can include a broader range of friends, extended family, colleagues, and acquaintances. Consider your budget and venue capacity again, as the reception guest list can be significantly larger than the ceremony list.

Step 3: Manage Expectations

Be prepared for potential emotional responses from family members or friends who are only invited to the reception. It's natural for some guests to feel left out or express their desire to attend the ceremony as well. It's important to stand firm and convey your excitement for celebrating with them at the reception, emphasising the intimacy of the ceremony.

Step 4: Stick to Your Decisions

Once the guest lists are finalised and word gets out, avoid the temptation to make exceptions. Adding one guest may lead to a domino effect of requests, complicating your planning. It's perfectly acceptable to politely decline these requests and reiterate your enthusiasm for their presence at the reception.

Step 5: Timing and Logistics

If you're hosting both the ceremony and reception on the same day, consider having the ceremony earlier to allow ample time for celebrations and photos with your intimate group before the reception. Ensure that your ceremony guests arrive at the reception simultaneously as the other guests to create a seamless transition into the evening's festivities.

Step 6: Invitation Wording

Clearly communicate the reception-only nature of the event in your invitations. You can either print two different invitations or include an extra ceremony invitation card for those invited to the ceremony. Ensure your wording specifies that guests are invited to a reception celebrating your marriage, rather than witnessing the ceremony.

Step 7: Sample Wording Ideas

• " [Names of couple] request the pleasure of your company for a reception in celebration of their new marriage."
• "The newlyweds [Names of couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• "We're married! Please join [Names of couple] for cocktails, dinner, and dancing to help us celebrate."

Design your invitations with two cards: a main card with reception-only invite wording, and an insert with ceremony details

If you're planning a wedding with a reception only, you may be wondering how to design your invitations. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you create elegant and clear invitations for your special day:

Step 1: Create Two Cards

Design your invitations with two cards: a main card with reception-only invite wording and an insert with ceremony details. This approach ensures that your guests receive clear and concise information, avoiding any potential confusion or hurt feelings. The main card will be mailed out to everyone on your guest list, while the insert with ceremony details is reserved for those invited to the ceremony and reception.

Step 2: Main Card Wording

The key to phrasing the main card is to announce your marriage, rather than inviting guests to witness it. Here are some elegant examples:

• "The newlyweds [Names of the couple] invite you to a reception in honour of their recent marriage."
• "We did it! Celebrate with [Names of the couple] following their wedding ceremony!"
• "Please join [Names of the couple] in celebration at their wedding reception."

Step 3: Insert Card Wording

The insert card is for those special guests who will be attending both the ceremony and the reception. Here are some suggestions for wording this card:

• "The honour of your presence is requested at a private ceremony on [date and time] at [venue]."
• "Please join us for an intimate ceremony on [date and time] at [venue]."
• "The pleasure of your company is requested at our wedding ceremony on [date and time] at [venue]."

Step 4: Design and Formatting

When designing your invitations, you can choose to match the design of the main card and the insert or opt for a cohesive look with a slight shift in language. Consider including an RSVP card with your invite to help with headcount accuracy. If you're having both the ceremony and reception on the same day, ensure there's enough time between the two events to accommodate guests' arrivals and avoid any overlap.

Remember, the wording can be formal or informal, depending on your preference and the style of your celebration. Don't be afraid to add personal touches and make the invitations a reflection of you as a couple!

Be clear that guests are not invited to the ceremony

It is crucial to make it clear to your guests that they are not invited to the ceremony, to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your invitations in a clear and graceful manner:

Be Transparent and Direct

Be upfront about the fact that the invitation is for the reception only. This can be done by explicitly mentioning that the ceremony will be intimate or private, and that guests are invited to join the celebration afterward. For example:

> "We are tying the knot in an intimate ceremony. Please join us afterward to celebrate with dinner and dancing!"

Emphasize the Celebration

Frame the invitation as a celebration of your marriage, indicating that the ceremony has already taken place or will be a private affair. This way, guests understand that the reception is the main event they are invited to:

> "Please join us for a reception to celebrate our marriage."

> "Just married! Please join us for cocktails, dinner, and dancing to commemorate this happy occasion."

Provide Clear Timing Information

Clearly state the date and time of the reception, especially if the ceremony and reception are on different days. This helps guests understand the separate nature of the events:

> "Richard and Kori invite you to a celebration after their small marriage ceremony on June 14th, at 7 pm."

> "The newlyweds, Victoria and Tristan, invite you to a reception honouring their recent marriage on June 2, at noon."

Be Consistent Across Invitations

If you are sending different invitations to guests attending both the ceremony and reception, and those attending the reception only, ensure the wording and design are mostly consistent across both invites. This maintains a cohesive look and feel, while still providing clear information:

> "The main card should contain reception-only invite wording that is mailed out to everybody on both guest lists. An insert with ceremonial information should be included only for those invited to the ceremony as well."

Choose Formal or Informal Wording

Depending on the style of your reception, you may opt for formal or informal wording. For a more casual event, you might say:

> "We eloped! Please join us to celebrate our marriage."

For a formal reception, you might use wording such as:

> "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at a reception honouring their daughter Anne Elizabeth and James Lucas Williams on their wedding day."

Include RSVP cards to keep track of headcount

Including RSVP cards is a great way to keep track of your headcount and ensure you have accurate numbers for your vendors. It is also a helpful way to confirm dietary requirements and other important information. Here are some tips for including RSVP cards when inviting guests to your wedding reception:

The Benefits of RSVP Cards

RSVP cards are a useful addition to your wedding invitation suite. They prompt guests to respond in a timely manner and help you organize essential details such as the seating chart, menu, and music playlist. If you have a large reception, RSVP cards can be particularly helpful in keeping track of responses and managing your guest list.

Traditional RSVP Cards

Traditional RSVP cards typically include three elements: space for the number of guests attending, their names, and a short personal note to the couple. It is important to write your name exactly as it appears on the envelope. This helps the host finalize the catering count, create a seating chart, and address guests properly on place cards or escort cards.

Online RSVPs

You may also consider asking guests to RSVP through your wedding website. This option is convenient, cost-effective, and environmentally friendly. Online RSVPs are often faster and easier for guests, especially those who are less tech-savvy. You can include the wedding website URL and RSVP deadline on a separate enclosure or response card.

Combining Digital and Physical Options

You can give your guests multiple RSVP options by combining digital and physical RSVP methods. This approach may require more administration, but you are likely to receive responses sooner. If you choose this route, be sure to clearly communicate both options to your guests.

RSVP Etiquette

It is important to set an RSVP deadline, usually about four weeks before the wedding date. This allows the couple and vendors to finalize any last-minute details that depend on the guest count. Guests should ideally respond within a few days of receiving the invitation to avoid inconveniencing the hosts.

Send invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding date

Sending out your wedding invitations at the right time is an important part of your wedding planning. It's essential to give your guests enough notice, especially if they need to arrange travel or book time off work.

In the US and UK, it's standard to send out wedding invitations at least two months before the wedding, but some people send them anywhere from three to six months in advance. If you're having a destination wedding or your guest list includes people who live abroad, it's a good idea to give your guests even more notice. In this case, you should send your invitations around 12 weeks before the wedding.

If you're sending out Save the Dates, these should go out four to six months before the wedding, or even earlier if it's a destination wedding. This will give your guests time to make the necessary arrangements.

So, when is the best time to send out your wedding invitations? Aim to send them six to eight weeks before your wedding date. This will give your guests plenty of time to RSVP and make any necessary preparations. It's also a good idea to ask for RSVPs no later than one month before the wedding so that you and your vendors have ample time to plan.

• Include an RSVP card: If you're expecting a large number of guests, it's a good idea to include an RSVP card to keep track of headcount. If you're not concerned about an exact headcount, you could skip the RSVP card or opt for an online RSVP.
• Be mindful of cultural differences: In some cultures, like in Sweden, wedding invitations are sent out a year in advance. Consider your culture and the cultural backgrounds of your guests when deciding on the timing.
• Order extra invitations: It's a good idea to order 5-10 extra invitations in case you need to invite additional guests or if some invitations get lost in the mail.

Frequently asked questions