Crafting Heartfelt Wedding Vows: A Groom's Guide

Writing your own wedding vows can be a stressful and daunting task, but it's also a unique touch that will make your wedding day extra special. The key to writing great vows is to speak from the heart and be true to yourself and your relationship.

- Agree on the format and tone with your partner beforehand. Will your vows be humorous, poetic, or romantic? Will you write them separately or together?

- Include a promise or two—broad ones like I promise to always support and honour you, as well as specific ones like I promise to kiss you every night before bed.

- Jot down notes about your relationship—how you met, why you fell in love, and what you've been through together.

- Write a first draft without worrying about structure. Just get your thoughts and feelings down on paper.

- Edit your draft to create a clear structure. You could follow a simple four-part outline: affirm your love, praise your partner, make promises, and close with a final vow.

- Avoid clichés and quotes from literature or movies. You want your vows to sound authentic and unique to your relationship.

- Keep it concise—aim for around one to two minutes in length to hold your guests' attention.

- Practise reading your vows aloud to get comfortable with the words and flow, and make any necessary adjustments.

- Get feedback from a trusted friend or family member if you want an outside perspective.

- Write your vows down—emotions can run high on your wedding day, and you don't want to risk a memory lapse!

- Maintain eye contact with your partner during the ceremony. This moment is about the two of you and the commitment you're making to each other.

Setting the scene and tone

• "Sarah, I had no idea when I attended Comic Con for the first time that I'd be here today, about to marry Princess Peach."
• "Jack, from being assigned your dorm roommate back in college, I never thought I'd be standing here in front of you today, about to become your husband."
• "Beth, I'm so thankful that today I get to marry my best friend and soulmate."

You can also begin with a short story and then circle back to it at the end. For example:

"A few years ago, we came here to [venue] to celebrate your birthday. We weren't dating very long but we were already madly in love with each other, contemplating what our future held for us. We sat not too far from where we're standing now, eating and enjoying the view, and as the sun turned to 'Starlight,' we said to each other that if we were to get married, we would marry here. And here we are!"

Remember, the key to setting the scene and tone for your wedding vows is to be authentic and speak from the heart. Avoid clichés and overused phrases, and instead, use your own words. This is your chance to let your personality shine through and give your guests a glimpse into your relationship with your partner.

Communicating details about your partner

What You Admire About Your Partner

Speak about the qualities you admire in your partner and what sets them apart from others. Ask yourself: What are your favourite characteristics about your partner? How are they different from other people you know? Why are you choosing to marry them?

Why You're Marrying Your Partner

Explain why you have chosen to marry your partner. What is it about this person that has led you to promise forever? When did you realise you were in love? What do you miss when you're not together?

How Your Partner Has Impacted You

Share how you have changed as a person since meeting your partner. How is your relationship special? What do you value most about your relationship?

Specific Examples and Anecdotes

Use specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate your points and bring your words to life. Share a funny story or a romantic moment that showcases what you love about your partner.

Promises to Your Partner

While this is the next step in the structure, it's worth mentioning here as well. Make promises to your partner that are meaningful and reflect the type of partner you want to be. These can be broad, such as "I promise to always support and honour you," or specific, such as "I promise to always be there when you have troubles."

> "I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honour, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together."

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> "I promise to be patient and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to nurture your dreams and help you reach them."

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> "I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and a shoulder to lean on when life is too much to bear on your own."

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> "I promise to be your best friend and your husband. I promise you myself completely."

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> "I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day."

Communicating details about your relationship

Communicating the details of your relationship is a key part of your wedding vows. This is your chance to express how you feel about your special bond and share the reasons behind your commitment. Here are some ideas to help you craft this section of your vows:

Think about how you've grown and changed as a person since meeting your partner. What have you learned about yourself and about life through your relationship? Perhaps you've become more patient, or learned to embrace new adventures. Reflect on the ways your partner has influenced you and consider sharing this in your vows.

What do you appreciate and value about your relationship? Is it the sense of comfort and security, the shared adventures, or the ability to be completely yourself with your partner? Think about what makes your relationship unique and special to you. You might want to mention how your partner brings out the best in you or how they've helped you become a better version of yourself.

Recount some of your favourite memories and experiences together. It could be the first time you met, a funny story from a date, or a challenging time that you overcame together. These anecdotes will add a personal touch to your vows and showcase the significant moments in your relationship.

Consider what sets your relationship apart from others. Maybe it's the deep emotional connection, the shared interests, or the ability to communicate openly and honestly. Reflect on the qualities that make your relationship strong and resilient. You can also mention how your partner complements you and brings balance to your life.

Express what you admire and appreciate about your partner. Think about their unique qualities, such as their kindness, intelligence, or sense of humour. Share the reasons why you chose to marry them and what makes them stand out from anyone else. You can also talk about how your partner makes you feel loved, supported, or inspired.

Remember, this is your opportunity to celebrate your relationship and share your love story. Be authentic and speak from the heart. Good luck with writing your vows!

Making promises

Broad Promises

• "I promise to always support and honour you."
• "I promise to give you the best future I can and to be the best father I can when we welcome children into the world."
• "I will love you whether we’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, young or old."
• "I promise to always live by the vows I make today."
• "I pledge to always appreciate you and to never let a day go by without remembering how lucky I am that we have each other."

Specific Promises

• "I promise to kiss you every night before bed."
• "I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection."
• "I promise to turn on the heater when you’re freezing cold, even if I’m burning up."
• "I promise to get up and get our remote from across the room, even if it was not I who placed the remote so very far away."
• "I vow to cherish everyday moments that we’ll remember, love, and laugh about for years to come."
• "I vow to be your accomplice in 'managing mischief', your player 2 in life, to have fun, whatever the adventure, creating memories as we see the world together."

Closing with a love note

The final part of your vows is your chance to end on an impactful and loving note. Here are some ideas for closing with a love note:

Romantic

• "I love you more today than I did yesterday and every tomorrow I’ll love you more than I did the day before."
• "I love you—my favourite person in the world, my partner in life—my wife."
• "I can’t wait to spend my life with my best friend. I love you now and I will love you always."
• "I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side."
• "I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days."
• "I vow to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love."
• "I promise to love you loyally and fiercely—as long as I shall live."
• "I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day."
• "I love you more fiercely with every second that slips through our hands. With you, I can make the most of my days."
• "I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honour, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together."
• "I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. I promise to try to be on time. I promise to never steal the covers unless, you’re hogging them. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you."
• "I promise to listen, to speak lovingly, to give generously all of myself, to care, to heal, to rejoice, and to pray with you forever and always."
• "I love you to the moon and back. And so much more than that."

Humorous

• "I promise to never keep score, even when I'm clearly winning."
• "You're the French fries to my chocolate shake."
• "When I say, 'I do', I don't mean the dishes."
• "I promise to continue to make your friends jealous of our amazing relationship."
• "I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair."
• "I vow to take your hand when it's too dark, and the dog out when it's too early."
• "I promise to love you for eternity and to trust you with my credit card."

Frequently asked questions