Writing Your Private Wedding Vow: A Guide To Personalizing Your Commitment

Private wedding vows are a growing trend, with many couples choosing to recite personal promises to one another in a more intimate setting, away from the crowd. Private vows offer a unique opportunity to express your love and commitment to your partner in a way that feels true to you. Whether you're shy, seeking a more personalised experience, or simply want to create a private moment within the busyness of your wedding day, writing private vows can be a beautiful way to connect with your partner.

Address your partner and explain why you're excited to marry them

My dearest [Partner], today I celebrate you and our profound love. I am so excited to be standing here with you, ready to begin our new life together as a married couple.

From the moment I met you, I knew that you were someone special. Your warm and inviting eyes and your captivating smile immediately put me at ease, and I felt myself drawn to your kindness and generosity. As we spent more time together, my feelings only deepened, and I realised that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I love you for your unwavering support, your boundless compassion, and your unwavering dedication to our relationship. Your presence in my life has brought me immense joy, and I am forever grateful to have you by my side. Your love has helped me grow into the person I am today, and I am excited to continue on this journey of self-discovery and improvement with you by my side.

Together, we have shared countless memories, both joyous and challenging. We have explored new places, created inside jokes, and supported each other through life's twists and turns. Our relationship has been strengthened by our shared experiences, and I am eager to create many more memories with you as we embark on this new chapter.

I admire your strength, your resilience, and your unwavering dedication to our relationship. Your ability to remain calm and collected, even in the face of adversity, inspires me to be a better person. Your unwavering support has helped me through some of my darkest times, and I am forever grateful to have you as my rock and confidant.

As your partner, I promise to love and cherish you, to respect and honour you, and to support and encourage you in all your endeavours. I will be there for you through thick and thin, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear whenever you need it. Together, we will create a home filled with love, laughter, and mutual understanding.

I am thrilled to be marrying my best friend, my confidant, and my biggest supporter. I know that our future holds countless adventures, new experiences, and the opportunity to continue growing together. I am excited to wake up every day by your side, to face life's challenges head-on with you, and to create a life filled with love, happiness, and meaningful moments.

Detail what you admire about your partner

There are many reasons why you might want to write private wedding vows. Perhaps you're shy and don't want to share your feelings in front of a crowd, or you want to keep certain things private between you and your partner. Maybe you're having an outdoor wedding and are worried about wind or microphone issues making it hard for your guests to hear your vows. Or maybe you just want to make your day extra special and memorable. Whatever your reasons, here are some ideas for what to include when detailing what you admire about your partner:

Their unique qualities

Talk about your partner's qualities and what you admire about them. Are they patient, kind, determined, hardworking, or funny? Do they have an inquisitive mind or a contagious sense of humour? Are they your rock, your biggest supporter, or your best friend? Tell your partner what you love and appreciate about them and why these qualities make them so special to you.

Your relationship

Share what you love about being together and what makes your relationship unique. What qualities do you admire in your partner that complement your own? Why do you think you make a perfect couple? What special memories have you shared? How has your partner helped you grow and become a better person? How do they make you feel loved and accepted?

Inside jokes and special memories

Private vows are a great opportunity to include inside jokes, tender moments, and secret stories that only the two of you know about. These personal touches will make your vows even more meaningful and will help to create a deeper connection between you.

Promises

While it's important to share what you admire about your partner, don't forget to include some serious (and maybe a few silly) promises. What do you promise to do every day to make your partner happy? How will you continue to love and support them, even when things get tough? What quirks do you promise to embrace and incorporate into your married life to make your partner smile?

Remember, your private vows are a chance to speak directly to your partner's heart, so be honest, be vulnerable, and don't hold back. This is your opportunity to create a meaningful and intimate moment that you'll both treasure forever.

Communicate what you appreciate about your relationship

Communicating what you appreciate about your relationship is a great way to make your wedding vows personal and heartfelt. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

Inside jokes and special memories

Add a touch of humour to your vows by referencing inside jokes or funny anecdotes from your relationship. This could be anything from a lighthearted moment you shared to a grand romantic gesture. For example, "I promise to always make sure I bring a snack for you on long car trips" or "I vow to never stop kissing you every time we stop at a red light". These moments are unique to your relationship and will make your partner feel loved and appreciated.

Qualities you admire

Express your admiration for your partner's character and the qualities that make them special to you. For instance, "You have the purest heart and a warm, loving soul. In every person you meet, you not only find, but brighten their inner light" or "You make me laugh, you make me think, and above all, you make me happy". Highlighting these qualities shows your partner that you recognise and value their unique attributes.

How your partner has impacted your life

Share how your partner has influenced your life and made you a better person. For example, "You have made me the happiest man in the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to cherish and respect you. I promise to care for you and protect you. I promise to comfort you and encourage you. I promise to be with you for all of eternity" or "You have become my lover, my companion, and my best friend. There's no one else I'd want to build a life with". This demonstrates how much your partner means to you and how they have contributed to your personal growth.

How your lives have improved together

Talk about how your lives have improved since you've been together and how you complement each other. For instance, "I love that you love my persnickety, killer Chihuahua like she's your own. I know on that fact alone, you're going to make an amazing mother to our children someday" or "I knew you were 'the one' when I realised that you truly are a better person than me. I admire you and look up to you for all the good you bring to this great big world". This showcases the positive impact your partner has had on your life and how your lives have become intertwined.

How your partner makes you feel

Express the emotions and feelings your partner evokes in you. For example, "You flood my senses with joy. You are my life, my greatest gift. I'm so lucky to call you my loving wife" or "You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known". This conveys the depth of your love and appreciation for your partner.

Make promises to your partner

The promises you make to your partner are the heart of your wedding vows. They are the commitments you are making to your partner for your life together. Here are some ideas for promises you can make:

• I promise to always support you.
• I promise to be patient with you.
• I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you.
• I promise to always be honest with you.
• I promise to be there for you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health.
• I promise to love and care for you and always treat you with respect.
• I promise to make you smile and bring joy into your life.
• I promise to be your partner in all things, working with you as a part of the whole.
• I promise to always be there for you, to have your back, and to never leave your side.
• I promise to be vulnerable with you and to share my deepest emotions.
• I promise to always be faithful and loyal to you.
• I promise to always choose you and to put you first.
• I promise to always listen to you and to communicate openly and honestly.
• I promise to always be there to catch you when you fall.
• I promise to always be by your side, through the good times and the bad.
• I promise to always love and accept you for who you are.
• I promise to always be there to support and encourage your dreams and aspirations.
• I promise to always make time for our relationship and to prioritize our love.
• I promise to always be there to hold your hand and walk alongside you on this journey.
• I promise to always be your biggest fan and to always cheer you on.
• I promise to always be there to lift you up and help you reach your full potential.
• I promise to always be your safe haven, a place where you can be yourself and feel loved and accepted.
• I promise to always choose love, even when it's hard, and to always put our relationship first.
• I promise to always be there for the little moments, as well as the big ones.
• I promise to always be present and fully engaged in our relationship.
• I promise to always be your shoulder to cry on and your rock when times get tough.
• I promise to always be your confidant and to keep your secrets safe.
• I promise to always be your biggest cheerleader and to always celebrate your successes.
• I promise to always treat you with kindness, compassion, and respect.
• I promise to always be your best friend and to always have your back.

End with a wish for your life together

As you write your wedding vows, you may want to end with a wish for your life together. This is a great way to express your hopes and dreams for your marriage, and to set an intention for the future. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

• "I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life showing you just how grateful I am for you and your immense, selfless and compassionate love. I love you so much. Now let's celebrate."
• "I see these vows not as promises, but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you. With my whole heart, I take you as my partner forever."
• "I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love."
• "I promise to share my whole heart with you and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way."
• "I promise to laugh with you every day, to dance with you in the kitchen and to not rub it in when I beat you in horse."
• "I promise to listen to your dreams (and be there to hold you after any nightmares)."
• "I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honour, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together."
• "I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days."
• "I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and a shoulder to lean on when life is too much to bear on your own."
• "I promise to always make sure I bring a snack for you on long car trips."

Frequently asked questions