Writing Wedding Cheer: A Guide To Memo-Writing For Wedding Checks

Writing a cheque as a wedding gift is a thoughtful gesture, but it can be tricky to get right. Here are some tips to ensure your gift is received and deposited without any issues.

Firstly, it's important to know the couple's pre-married or maiden names, as one or both parties may not have changed their names yet. Using their pre-married names will ensure they can cash the cheque before or after the wedding. It's also best to use or instead of and between their names, so that either person can deposit the cheque without the other being present. For example, write the cheque to Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia instead of Kim Jones and Jackie Garcia. This avoids any potential issues with their bank accounts being in their pre-married names.

Secondly, consider the amount you want to gift. A good rule of thumb is to give what you would spend on a physical gift, usually around $50-$300, but always give what you can afford. It's also a nice touch to give a specific amount that has meaning for you and the couple, such as the cost of dinner at your favourite restaurant.

Thirdly, presentation is important. Put the cheque inside a greeting card with a personal message to the couple, and consider gift-wrapping the card. This adds a thoughtful touch and reduces the risk of the card being accidentally thrown away.

Finally, if you're mailing the cheque, send it to a permanent address where you know the couple will receive it, and follow up if it hasn't been deposited after a few weeks. If you're giving the cheque in person, avoid leaving it on the gift table, as it may get lost. Give it to a close family member, a member of the wedding party, or the wedding planner instead.

Include a personal message

Including a personal message is a great way to make your wedding gift more meaningful. Here are some tips and suggestions for what to write in the memo of a wedding check:

Include a Congratulatory Message

A simple "congratulations" or "best wishes" is always appropriate. You can also offer congratulations on their marriage specifically: "Congratulations on your wedding!" This is a straightforward way to express your happiness for the couple and celebrate their union.

Share a Sentiment or Well Wish

You can include a heartfelt message wishing the couple a happy and blessed marriage. Here are some examples:

• "Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness."
• "May your joining together bring you more happiness than you can imagine!"
• "Wishing you the best today and always."
• "May the joy you feel today last a lifetime."
• "May God bless you and your marriage."

Reference a Shared Memory or Experience

If you are close to the couple, you can include a reference to a shared memory or experience. For example, "Remember when we went to that concert together? Such great memories! Wishing you many more in your married life!" This adds a personal touch and shows that you are thinking of them.

Offer a Note of Thanks

If you are attending the wedding, you can express your gratitude for being included in their special day. Something like, "Thank you for inviting us to share this joyful day! We wish you a lifetime of happiness." This acknowledges their thoughtfulness in including you and celebrates the occasion.

Include a Lighthearted Joke or Wish

If it suits your relationship with the couple, you can include a lighthearted joke or wish. For example, "Thanks for the free booze! Best wishes on a long and happy marriage!" or "Our marriage advice: Always kiss the cook—whoever cooks DOESN'T clean!" Adding a bit of humour can make your message more memorable and fun.

Specify the Gift's Purpose

If you wish, you can specify what you would like the couple to use the money for. For instance, "Please use this gift for something you need to start your new life together." This gives the couple a sense of your intention behind the gift.

Remember to keep your message sincere and heartfelt. You can also combine or adapt these suggestions to fit your relationship with the couple. Including a personal message is a wonderful way to make your wedding check gift more meaningful and memorable.

Use or instead of and

When writing a memo, it is important to use clear and concise language that is easily understandable by your audience. In this case, using "or" instead of "and" is not only more practical, as it allows either individual to deposit the check, but it is also more grammatically correct.

Step 1: Address the Check to One Individual

Write the check to only one person. This allows the couple to deposit the check without waiting for a joint account to be set up. For example, write the check to "John Smith or Jane Doe". This way, either individual can endorse and cash the check without the other person being present. This is especially helpful if the couple has not yet merged their finances or if one partner is keeping their maiden name.

Step 2: Use "Or" Instead of "And"

Using the word "or" between the names ensures that either person can deposit the check without the other having to be present. This is much more convenient than using "and," which typically requires both individuals to endorse the check together at the bank.

For example, write the check to "John Smith or Jane Smith." This way, John or Jane can easily deposit the funds into their individual accounts, or they can choose to deposit it into a joint account if they have one.

Step 3: Include a Personal Greeting Card

Enclose the check in a greeting card with a heartfelt message. This adds a personal touch to your gift and makes it feel more thoughtful. Address the card to both the bride and groom, and include a congratulatory message. You can also share a memory or a funny anecdote.

Step 4: Suggest a Meaningful Amount

Instead of a generic amount, consider giving a sum that has significance to your relationship with the couple. For example, you could give them enough money to enjoy a nice dinner at their favourite restaurant. This shows that you've put thought into the gift, and it adds a personal touch.

Step 5: Consider Your Budget and Relationship

While you want your gift to be meaningful, it's important not to put a strain on your finances. Consider your budget and the nature of your relationship with the couple. For instance, if you are close friends or family, you may want to give a larger amount than if you are distant acquaintances.

Step 6: Follow Traditional Etiquette Guidelines

If you're unsure about the amount, you can refer to traditional wedding gift etiquette. As a distant relative or co-worker, $50-75 is appropriate. For relatives or friends, consider giving $75-100, and for close relatives or friends, $100-150 is a thoughtful gift.

Remember to include a warm message with your check, and your thoughtful gift is sure to be appreciated by the happy couple!

Use pre-married names

When writing a wedding check, it is important to use the couple's pre-married names, or maiden names, to avoid any issues with depositing the check. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Use the conjunction "or" between their names instead of "and". For example, write the check to "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia", which will allow either person to deposit the check into their individual account without any issues. Using "and" may require both individuals to be present at the bank and could cause delays if they do not have a joint account.
• Avoid making assumptions about name changes. Double-check the names on the check with a close friend or family member of the couple. This is especially important if you are unsure about the legal name of one of the individuals.
• If you are writing the check in advance of the wedding, set the date as the wedding date. This will give the couple extra time to deposit the check without any issues regarding an old check.
• Include both names in the memo along with your well wishes. This ensures that the couple knows that the check is intended for both of them, even if it is only made out to one person.
• Be sure to have the funds available in your account. You don't want the check to bounce when the couple deposits it, which is likely to be a few weeks after the wedding.

By following these guidelines, you can help ensure that the couple can easily deposit and access your wedding gift without any unnecessary delays or complications.

Don't assume name changes

When writing a wedding check, it's important to remember not to assume that the couple will follow any particular route with their names. Here are some tips to ensure your gift is received and deposited smoothly:

• Don't assume the bride will take her spouse's last name. Many women choose to keep their maiden names, so it's best to avoid writing a check to "Mr. and Mrs. [Spouse's Last Name]." Writing a check to the wrong name is like gifting money to a joint account that doesn't exist. Instead, use their pre-married or maiden names. That way, the name on the check matches the name on their ID.
• Don't assume a heterosexual couple has gone the traditional route with the bride taking her spouse's last name. Always double-check the names on the wedding check and confirm with the couple or someone close to them if you're unsure.
• Don't assume hyphenated last names are in alphabetical order. Ask the couple or someone close to them about their official new names.
• Don't assume the couple has a joint account. It's best to address the check to one person using "or" between their names, so either person can deposit the check.
• Don't assume the man is in charge of finances. Address the check to the person you feel closest to, but be sure to use the proper last name.

Remember, it's always better to ask and confirm the appropriate names to avoid any issues with cashing the check.

Include both names in the memo

Including both names in the memo line of a wedding cheque is a great way to ensure the couple knows the gift is intended for both of them. This is especially important if you are writing the cheque in the name of just one person, which is often the easiest option as it avoids any confusion when it comes to depositing the money.

If you are writing the cheque to just one person, you can include a note in the memo line to clarify that the gift is intended for both parties. For example, you could write:

• "Congratulations to [name] and [name]!"
• "Share with [name of spouse]! Congratulations!"
• "Congratulations from the [surname] family"

If you are writing the cheque to the couple, use "or" instead of "and" between their names. This ensures that either person can deposit the cheque without the other being present. For example, write "Kim Jones or Jackie Garcia".

It's also a good idea to use the couple's pre-married or maiden names, as they may not have changed their names yet or set up a joint account.

Frequently asked questions