Rsvp Dates: A Guide To Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Wedding RSVP cards are an important part of the wedding invitation suite. They help the couple create a guest list and enable the caterers to prepare the right amount of food. The guests can also use them to pick their food choices and get a feel for the wedding style. The RSVP deadline is usually two to four weeks before the wedding date, and this is the most important detail on the card. It is also important to include a space for guests to write their names and a way for them to indicate whether they will be attending.

RSVP deadline date

The RSVP deadline is a critical element of your wedding invitation. It is the most important detail on your RSVP card and is usually set around four weeks before the wedding date. This gives you and your vendors enough time to finalise any last-minute details that depend on the total guest count, such as the amount of food and drinks needed and the seating plan.

• Base your RSVP deadline on the dates provided by your wedding suppliers, such as your venue, caterer, or planner. It is usually around six to eight weeks before your wedding day, but always double-check with your suppliers.
• Give yourself at least one or two weeks extra to chase any guests who fail to respond on time.
• If you are having a destination wedding, a mid-week wedding, a peak summer wedding, or not allowing children, allow your guests some extra time to check their availability and make any necessary arrangements. Avoid sending out invitations just a week before your RSVP deadline.
• When wording your RSVP deadline, be clear and direct. You can use phrases such as "Kindly reply by [date]", "Please respond by [date]", or "The favour of a response is requested by [date]".
• If you want to add a creative or humorous touch, you could say something like "RSVP by May 1st or forever hold your peace" or "RSVP by May 1st or we will use at least 4 forms of communication to hassle you".

Remember to include your return address or clear instructions on how and where to respond, especially if you are accepting digital RSVPs.

Space for guests' names

Indicating Names

It is customary to write an "M" at the start of the line on formal RSVP cards. This indicates that guests should include their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. This also ensures that you know how to address guests formally at the wedding and helps with the correct spelling of names on seating charts and place cards.

Preventing Misunderstandings

To prevent guests from adding extra names, carefully and correctly address the wedding invitations. Make it clear if plus-ones are welcome. You can also use your wedding website to limit digital responses and communicate any restrictions, such as an adults-only wedding.

Number of Guests

If you are inviting a family, you can address the envelope with their family name and indicate the number of seats reserved for them on the RSVP card. For example, "5 seats have been reserved in your honour". This makes it clear how many people are invited and helps to avoid misunderstandings.

Wording Suggestions

• "M _____"
• "Name(s) _____"
• "Name(s) of our fabulous guests: _____"
• "Name(s) of Attendee(s): [Your Full Name(s)]"
• "____ number of seats have been reserved in your honour"
• "____ of ____ seats reserved in your honour"

Additional Tips

To make things easier for yourself and your guests, consider numbering the RSVP cards on the back. This will help you identify any guests who forget to write their names. You can also use invisible black light ink to write guests' initials on the back of each card, so you can identify any mystery guests.

Accept or decline options

The primary purpose of an RSVP card is to find out who is coming to your wedding. So, naturally, you'll need a clear and simple way for guests to accept or decline your invitation. This could be formatted as checkboxes, circling or fill-in-the-blank lines.

For a formal RSVP card, you can use wording such as:

• Accepts with pleasure
• Declines with regret
• Joyfully accepts
• Regretfully declines
• Accepts with joy
• Regretfully cannot join

For an informal RSVP card, you can be more creative and relaxed with your language:

• Can't wait!
• Sorry, I wish I could be there!
• Can't wait to hit the dance floor
• Will be toasting from afar
• Yes, we would be delighted
• No, we wish we could
• Yes, see you soon
• Sorry, love to but can't

If you're having a destination wedding, you might want to include a hint of where the wedding will be held in your RSVP card wording:

• To the tropics!
• The coastline beckons on me!
• Yes, we're beachy keen to attend!

Entree preference

When it comes to wedding invitations, entree preferences are an important detail to include. Here are some tips and suggestions for incorporating entree preference options into your wedding RSVP cards:

Clear and Concise Options

Offer a clear and concise list of entree choices for your guests to select from. This can be done by providing a simple bullet-point list or checkboxes for guests to mark their preference. Ensure the options are clearly labelled and easy to understand. For example, you could list options such as:

• Chicken
• Beef
• Vegetarian
• Vegan
• Other (please specify)

Numbered Options

Instead of listing the entrees, you could number the options and ask guests to indicate their preference by number. For example:

• Chicken
• Beef
• Vegetarian
• Vegan
• Other (please specify)

Blank Space for Preferences

If you want to keep the RSVP card design simple, you can include a blank line or two for guests to write in their entree preference. This approach allows guests to specify their preference without restricting their choices to a predefined list. For instance, you could simply write:

"Please indicate your entree preference:" and provide a blank line for guests to fill in.

Online RSVP with Preferences

If you're offering an online RSVP option, you can include the entree preference question as part of the online form. This method allows guests to select their preference from a dropdown menu or fill it in as free text. You could include a link to your wedding website or a dedicated RSVP page where guests can submit their responses.

Matching Stationery

Ensure that your RSVP cards match the style and design of your wedding invitations for a cohesive look. Pre-address and pre-stamp the RSVP envelopes for your guests' convenience. This also ensures that you receive the responses back promptly.

Remember to set a clear deadline for RSVPs, usually about two to four weeks before the wedding date, to give yourself enough time to finalise details with your caterers.

Additional requests

The RSVP card is a great place to ask your guests for any extra information you need to plan your big day. Here are some ideas for additional requests you can include on your RSVP cards:

Dietary Requirements

It's always a good idea to ask your guests about any dietary requirements or allergies they may have. This will help you plan your menu and ensure that everyone is catered for. You can include this as a line on the RSVP card, such as "Please let us know of any dietary requirements or allergies".

Meal Choices

If you're offering your guests a choice of meals, you can include this on the RSVP card. List the options with checkboxes or illustrated icons for guests to select their preference. This is especially useful if you need guests to pre-order their meals in advance.

Song Requests

A fun way to get your guests involved is to ask for song requests on the RSVP card. You could say something like, "Get ready to dance! Request a song we can groove to together:" This will give your guests an idea of the party atmosphere and give you a personalised playlist for your wedding.

Drink Preferences

If you want to stock your bar with your guests' favourite drinks, you can ask them to list their drink of choice on the RSVP card. This will ensure that your guests' preferences are catered for, and it will also help you plan your beverage order.

Advice for the Newlyweds

A sweet addition to your RSVP card could be a request for advice. You could ask your guests to share their best piece of advice for a long and happy marriage. This will not only give you some wise words to take into your new life together but also provide a special keepsake.

Special Accommodations

If you anticipate that any of your guests may have special accommodation needs, you can leave a space on the RSVP card for them to note any requirements. This could include wheelchair access, dietary needs, or any other adjustments you may need to make for their comfort.

A Personal Note

Encourage your guests to get creative and share their thoughts by leaving some blank space on the RSVP card. They can write a note about how excited they are for your wedding or any other thoughts they want to express. This will make your RSVP cards unique and give your guests a chance to connect with you personally.

Remember to keep your additional requests concise and clear, and always provide a deadline for responses, usually about a month before the wedding. This will ensure that you have all the information you need to finalise the details of your special day.

Frequently asked questions