Crafting A Plus One Wedding Website: A Guide To Writing The Perfect Companion

Planning a wedding is an exciting time, but it can also be stressful. One of the trickiest parts of wedding planning is deciding who to invite and how to navigate wedding plus-one etiquette.

The number of guests you invite will have a huge impact on your budget and the overall atmosphere of your wedding. It's important to keep your budget, your vision of the day, and your guests' needs in mind when deciding on a plus-one policy.

There are no set rules for wedding plus-one etiquette, but there are some best practices to follow. Standard etiquette suggests that members of the couple's immediate family, wedding party members, outlier guests who won't know many other attendees, and couples who are married, engaged, or living together should receive a plus-one.

However, it's ultimately up to you and your partner to decide who gets a plus-one. You may choose to have a blanket rule, such as only allowing married or cohabiting guests to bring a partner, or you may decide to evaluate each guest individually.

When it comes to communicating your plus-one policy to your guests, there are several effective strategies. You can mention it in casual conversation when discussing your wedding plans, address your wedding invitations correctly, make it clear on the RSVP card, or add a FAQ section to your wedding website.

Remember, it's your special day, so don't be afraid to make decisions that reflect what you and your partner want.

Addressing the invitations

Be Clear and Direct

It is important to be clear and direct when addressing your invitations. This means using the correct names and titles and being explicit about who is invited. For example, rather than saying "You are invited to our wedding", address the invitation to the person by name. If they are allowed to bring a plus one, you can write their name and then "and guest".

Traditional vs Modern

The way you address your invitations will depend on whether you are following traditional or modern etiquette. Traditional invitations may have an outer and inner envelope. The outer envelope addresses the recipient (the guest or couple) and the inner envelope lists the names of those invited, such as children or plus-ones. With modern invitations, you only need to include one envelope or send an online invitation, so be sure to address all invitees clearly and upfront.

Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests

Traditionally, spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should receive an invitation. This is often referred to as the "package deal". It is also customary to invite the spouse or significant other of your ceremony officiant, as well as both parents of ring bearers and flower girls.

Bridal Party

The rules are a little different for the bridal party. It is customary to allow everyone in the bridal party to have a plus-one, regardless of their relationship status. This is a way to thank them for their efforts and support in the lead-up to the wedding.

Additional Guests

If you decide to allow one single guest outside the bridal party to bring a plus-one, you should extend this courtesy to all single guests to avoid hurt feelings. However, if your budget doesn't allow for this, you can set clear criteria, such as only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person.

Seating Plan

When it comes to creating your seating plan, be mindful of couples and single guests. Avoid seating singles next to an old married couple or a PDA-heavy pair. Instead, place them between outgoing and friendly couples to create a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

Be Prepared for Questions

Finally, be prepared for guests to ask if they can bring a plus-one, especially if they are in a new relationship. It is a good idea to inquire further about the requested addition and, if possible, include their partner. However, if you don't have the space, it is okay to politely decline, perhaps saying something like: "We would love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair."

RSVP card

When it comes to RSVPs, you have the option of asking your guests to respond via mail or online. Here are some suggestions for how to word your RSVP card to politely decline plus-ones:

Online RSVP Wording

"Kindly respond by [date] at [wedding website URL]"

"RSVP online at [wedding website URL] by [date]"

"Please visit [wedding website URL] to respond by [date]"

Formal RSVP Card Wording

The first thing to include on your RSVP cards is a blank line for guests to write their names. On a formal RSVP card, you can write "M" at the start of the line to indicate that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name.

You should also include a line for guests to indicate their attendance, which can be formatted as checkboxes, circles, or fill-in-the-blank lines. To politely decline plus-ones, you can add something like:

"__ number of seats have been reserved in your honour"

"We have reserved ___ seats in your honour"

Informal RSVP Card Wording

If you're having an informal wedding, you might want your stationery to convey a relaxed, party-ready vibe. Here are some ideas for informal RSVP wording:

"Yasss, let's party!"

"Ready to eat, drink and see you get married!"

"Will toast to you two from afar"

"Yes, the party don't start 'til I walk in!"

"No, party on without me"

Unique RSVP Wording

If you want your stationery to reflect your personalities, feel free to branch out with unique RSVP wording options:

"Ready to eat, drink and celebrate your love!"

"Can't wait to celebrate with you!"

"So excited to see you tie the knot!"

"Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it, but congratulations!"

FAQ section

FAQ

Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate plus ones due to budget and space limitations. We hope you understand!

We are trying to stick to a strict budget and our venue has limited space.

Who is allowed to bring a plus one?

We have decided to only allow plus ones for guests who are married, engaged, or living together.

We kindly ask that you respect our decision and do not bring an additional guest. We are trying to keep our guest list as small as possible and hope that you can understand our decision.

We will do our best to seat you with other guests who have similar interests. Please let us know if there is anyone you would like to be seated with and we will do our best to accommodate your request.

Evening-only wedding guests

If you're facing budget constraints, space restrictions, or privacy concerns, inviting guests to the evening reception only is a great solution. This way, you can still celebrate your wedding with a larger group of people without breaking the bank.

Who Should Be Invited to the Evening Reception Only?

Evening-only guests are typically distant relatives, casual acquaintances, and work colleagues. It's good etiquette to invite guests to the whole day if they attended your bridal shower, hen do, or stag party, especially if they brought a gift or contributed financially.

How to Invite Someone to Just the Evening Reception

Evening wedding invitations are similar to day invitations but specify that the guest is invited to the reception only. Be clear about the time they should arrive, usually around 6-7 pm, and provide the address of the reception venue. It's also important to include any dress code expectations and whether single guests can bring a date.

Making Evening-Only Guests Feel Welcome

• Supply plenty of drinks and a buffet dinner.
• Defer your receiving line until the evening so they can be a part of it.
• Provide wedding favours and cake for them.
• Display photos taken during the day using digital frames at the reception venue.
• Save a special wedding ritual, such as the first dance or cake cutting, for the evening.
• Have a food option for your evening guests, even if it's just canapes or a food van.
• Get photos with your evening guests, either with a photographer or a fun photo booth.
• Dedicate a special song to individual evening guests or groups to make them feel included.

Dealing with guest queries

Be Clear and Consistent

From the outset, make your wishes clear and be consistent. Whether you are thinking "absolutely not" or "the more, the merrier", communicate your stance on plus ones clearly on your website. This will help to avoid any misunderstandings or confusion.

Address Invitations Specifically

When addressing invitations, be careful to be specific. Instead of saying "You are invited to our wedding", address the invitation to the person by name. This will help to indicate that only the person addressed is invited.

Use RSVP Cards

Make use of RSVP cards to subtly handle the plus one issue. You can add the person's name next to a checkbox for attendance or include something more obvious like "number of seats reserved in your honour".

Include an FAQ on Plus Ones

Add an FAQ section on your website to explain your reasoning behind the plus one policy. For example, you could say:

> "Q: Can I bring a plus one to your wedding?

> A: Unfortunately, we're on a tight budget and have limited space, so we simply can’t afford for all of our lovely guests to bring a guest of their own. Plus ones are therefore by invitation only, and we ask other guests to please not bring a plus one. Thank you so much for understanding!"

Be Prepared for Queries

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still reach out to ask about bringing a plus one. In such cases, Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette suggests enquiring further about the requested addition. Their relationship status may have changed since you sent out the invitations. If you still don't have the room, it is okay to kindly reply with something like:

> "We would love for you to bring a guest, but this is a very intimate affair."

Try to deliver this response over the phone or in person, rather than via email.

Frequently asked questions