Crafting The Perfect Best Man Speech: A Guide To Wedding Wordsmithing

how to write a best man speech for a wedding

Being asked to be someone's best man is a huge honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. While you'll be in charge of everything from planning the bachelor party to shepherding the groomsmen, your most important task is giving an incredible wedding speech.

A best man's speech is a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't need to overthink it.

- Start with a funny or complimentary introduction.

- Lead into a short story.

- Add a dash of vulnerability.

- End with genuine congratulations to the bride and groom.

- Keep your speech short—around 3 to 5 minutes.

- Rehearse your speech beforehand.

- Avoid inappropriate or embarrassing topics.

- Focus on the couple's relationship, rather than your own.

- Congratulate the groom and compliment the bride.

- Keep things positive and lighthearted.

Characteristics Values
Length 3-5 minutes
Tone Funny, heartfelt, positive, respectful, congratulatory
Content Introduction, gratitude, relationship with groom, couple's relationship, congratulations and a toast
Preparation Plan ahead, practice, don't drink beforehand

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Keep it short and sweet

The best man's speech is typically the most eagerly awaited of all the wedding speeches, but it's important to keep it concise. Aim for a length of between three and five minutes—short enough to hold the audience's attention, but long enough to say something meaningful.

Planning and practice

Give yourself plenty of time to plan and practice your speech. It's a good idea to begin working on it at least a month before the wedding, and preferably two months in advance. Practising your speech is crucial—you should read it aloud to yourself at least three or four times, and consider recording yourself to identify areas for improvement. Practising will also help you memorise your speech, so you can avoid reading it word-for-word on the day. Instead, jot down the main talking points on notecards or a small notepad.

Structure and content

Begin by expressing gratitude to the couple, their parents, and the guests. Then, introduce yourself and explain your connection to the couple. You could share a funny story or anecdote about your relationship with the groom, but remember to keep the focus on the couple's relationship, rather than your own. Share a story or anecdote that epitomises their relationship, and talk about why they're a great couple. Finally, conclude with a toast, wishing the couple a lifetime of happiness.

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Focus on the couple, not yourself

Being the best man at a wedding is a tremendous honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. One of your most important tasks is to give a thoughtful, engaging, and memorable wedding speech. While you may feel pressure to be funny and entertain the guests, it's important to remember that the focus of your speech should be on the couple, not yourself. Here are some tips to help you write and deliver a meaningful and couple-centric best man speech:

Choose a Theme:

Start by selecting a theme that ties your speech together. This could be a unifying idea, such as the couple's love story, their shared interests, or a value they embody as a pair. Think of it as the main takeaway you want the guests to remember. Brainstorm stories and anecdotes that relate to this theme.

Keep It Short and Sweet:

The ideal length for a best man speech is around 3-5 minutes. Aim for a brief, concise speech that captures the audience's attention without rambling on. A good structure to follow is an introduction, a story or two about the couple, and a heartfelt conclusion.

Open with a Bang:

Grab the audience's attention from the start with a strong opening line. This could be a funny joke, a compliment, or a quote. Make sure it's relevant to the couple and sets the tone for the rest of your speech.

Share Stories:

Instead of focusing on yourself, share stories and anecdotes about the couple. Talk about how they met, what makes their relationship special, and how they have impacted each other's lives. You can also include a brief story about your friendship with the groom, but remember to keep the focus on the newlyweds.

Be Vulnerable:

Don't be afraid to show your emotions. Share how you truly feel about the couple and their relationship. This could be a heartfelt message about their love, admiration, or the positive impact they have had on each other. It's okay to get a little sentimental!

Congratulate and Toast:

End your speech with sincere congratulations to the bride and groom. Raise your glass and invite the audience to join you in wishing them a happy and loving future together. This is a heartfelt way to conclude your speech and celebrate the couple.

Remember, the key to a successful best man speech is to make it about the couple. By sharing stories, expressing your emotions, and focusing on their journey, you'll deliver a meaningful and memorable speech that honours the newlyweds.

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Include a killer opening line

The first few seconds of your best man speech are crucial. You want to grab the audience's attention and set the tone for the rest of your speech. A well-crafted and memorable opening line can do just that. Here are some tips and ideas to help you write a killer opening line that will leave a lasting impression:

  • Start with a joke: Humor is a great way to break the ice and engage your audience from the start. Share a funny story or anecdote about the groom, but keep it tasteful and appropriate. For example, you could say, "For those of you who don't know me, I'm John, the best man, and I've known the groom for 10 years. And I can tell you, the only reason he looks so good today is that I did his makeup!"
  • Use a quote: Find a quote that reflects the groom's personality or the theme of the wedding. It could be a line from a movie, a book, or even a song. For instance, you could begin with, "As Shakespeare once said, 'A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.' And that perfectly describes my relationship with the groom."
  • Tell a story: Launch straight into a story or anecdote that showcases the groom's unique qualities or a memorable moment you shared together. For example, "It was the summer of 2010, and we were on a backpacking trip through Europe. Little did I know that this trip would not only create lifelong memories but also shape the man standing before you today..."
  • Use a prop: Consider using a prop to enhance your opening line and make it more engaging. It could be an object that holds significance for the groom or a visual aid to support your story. For instance, you could hold up a pair of old, worn-out sneakers and say, "These shoes have traveled the world with the groom, and they have the stories to prove it!"
  • Involve the audience: Break the fourth wall and directly address the audience. This can be a powerful way to engage everyone and make them feel included. For example, "I know many of you are wondering what the groom was thinking when he asked me to be his best man. Well, wonder no more, because I'm about to tell you a story that will explain it all..."

Remember, the key to a killer opening line is to be creative, unique, and true to yourself and the groom. It's a chance to showcase your speaking skills and set the tone for a memorable and engaging best man speech.

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Make it funny

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour , but it's also a role that comes with a number of important responsibilities. One of the most significant duties is delivering a memorable and entertaining wedding speech. While it's completely normal to feel nervous about public speaking, there are several tips and tricks you can use to ensure your speech is a success and has the audience laughing along with you.

How to Make Your Best Man Speech Funny

Start with a joke

A great way to kick off your speech and put the audience at ease is to begin with a joke. This could be an ice-breaker that relates to you, the groom, or the couple. For example, you could say something like:

  • "Gosh, what an emotional day it's been. Even the cake is in tiers!"
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history—it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"
  • "I've played football with [Name] on many occasions, and never seen him lose a ball... as he doesn't kick it that far. In fact, he struggles to kick it full stop."

Be self-deprecating

Self-deprecating humour is a great way to make your speech funny without causing any offence. Make fun of yourself and your relationship with the groom, perhaps by saying something like:

  • "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"
  • "I recognise my place here; a best man is similar to a dead body at a funeral. Of course, you are expected to be there, but if you say too much, then people start freaking out."
  • "I'm going to keep this speech like [Name]—short and not very funny."

Exaggerate

Exaggeration is a fantastic comedic tool that can be used to great effect in a best man speech. Take something the groom is known for and imagine it in its most extreme form. For example:

  • "I've always wanted to give a speech—[Name] is like a genie; he granted a wish for me today. And I always wanted a sister, and now I have that in [Name's partner]. But not all wishes come true, after all—I still have [Name] as a brother."
  • "I've been instructed to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I'll whip it out immediately."

Roast the groom (kindly)

Roasting the groom is a time-honoured tradition in best man speeches, but it's important to do so with kindness. Avoid anything that might upset him or his partner, and stick to safe topics that will only serve to lighten the mood. For example:

  • "[Name] may not dazzle you with his wit or good looks, but he will dazzle you with the top of his head."
  • "Getting married to someone who is balding makes everything so much easier. For example, whenever the photographer calls for a picture, all [Name] has to do is straighten his tie!"

Include the audience

Involving the audience in your speech is a great way to make it more engaging and entertaining. You could ask them a question, tell them to stand up and then sit back down, or even ask them to raise their glasses for a toast.

Use observational humour

Observational humour is a fantastic way to make your speech funny without having to rely on jokes or one-liners. Simply observe the groom's behaviour, habits, and the unwritten rules of your friendship, and exaggerate or poke fun at the strange things you take for granted.

Final Thoughts

While it's important to make your speech funny, don't forget that it's also your chance to share your well-wishes with the happy couple. Include a few sincere and heartfelt remarks to balance out the humour and leave the audience with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

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Practice, practice, practice

Practice makes perfect, and this is especially true when it comes to delivering a best man's speech. The more you rehearse, the less nervous you'll feel and the more natural your delivery will sound. Here are some tips to help you master your speech:

Run-Throughs

Start practising at least two months before the wedding. Run through your speech at least three times, preferably with an audience. This could be a friend or family member, or even just someone who can give you honest feedback. Practising with others will help you feel more comfortable and allow you to gauge their reactions. If you can't practise with someone, try recording yourself and playing it back to get a sense of your body language and tone.

Know Your Speech

While it's good to memorise your speech, don't stress yourself out trying to learn it word-for-word. Instead, write down some key points on note cards to guide you and improvise the rest. This will make your speech sound more natural and less monotone.

Body Language

Your body language is just as important as your words. Stand up straight, smile, and use hand gestures to emphasise your points. Make eye contact with the bride, groom, wedding party, and guests. This will help you feel more connected to your audience and keep them engaged.

Pace Yourself

Don't rush through your speech. Speak slowly and clearly, and take your time. Pause between sentences and take deep breaths to steady your nerves. Remember to sip some water if you need to.

Visualise Success

Before you begin, take a deep breath and visualise your speech going well. Avoid dwelling on any worries or concerns. Positive thinking can help boost your confidence and put you in the right mindset.

Be Yourself

Ultimately, be yourself. The couple chose you as the best man because of who you are, so don't feel like you need to put on a performance or adopt a different persona. Your natural mannerisms and voice will make your speech unique and sincere.

Final Thoughts

With enough practice, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and engaging best man's speech. Remember to relax, have fun, and savour the moment!

Frequently asked questions

A best man speech should be between three and five minutes long.

Your speech should include an introduction, an expression of gratitude, a story about your relationship with the groom, and a focus on the couple's relationship. You should also congratulate the couple and end with a toast.

Avoid inappropriate anecdotes, talk of exes, long-winded stories, and profanity.

The best man traditionally speaks at the wedding reception, after the maid of honour.

It's not required, but it is expected. If you're uncomfortable with public speaking, consider showing your appreciation in another way, such as through a performance or a wedding video.

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