Writing Your Heart Out: Crafting Personalized Wedding Vows With Professional Help

Writing your own wedding vows is a daunting but rewarding task. Wedding vows are the promises you make to your partner during the wedding ceremony, and they can be as personalised or traditional as you like.

If you're writing your own vows, it's a good idea to check in with your partner about the tone and format you're both envisioning. You might want to include stories, jokes, or a vision for the future. You might want to make promises about the good times and the bad. You might want to be funny, or stoic, or sappy.

Whatever you decide, make sure you give yourself plenty of time to write your vows. It's not something you want to rush.

How to start writing your vows

Writing your own wedding vows is undeniably touching, but it can also be a huge undertaking. You might feel the pressure to perfectly and authentically capture your love, hopes, and promises. Here are some tips on how to start writing your vows:

Check in with your partner

Before you write your vows, have a discussion with each other about what you each want to include. For example, will your vows just be what you promise for the future or will you add more of a narrative to them, explaining what you love about each other and any stories from your relationship? It's also important to discuss and think about length. You want them to be fairly similar, not only in style but in time as well.

Get some ideas down on paper

Head somewhere quiet and think about when you first met, how you got together, when you realised they were the one, what little details make you smile when you think of them, and how you balance each other out. Why are you getting married? What does it mean to you? What promises do you want to make for a happy marriage?

Think about length

Your vows should only be around a minute or two long per person. Pick out five to seven of the most important things you want to say to your partner and use them as the foundation of your vows.

Research other wedding vows

Read lots of examples of other people’s wedding vows and see if you prefer a more traditional or modern style. Do you want religious or secular wedding vows? Are they going to be funny or emotional? Will it be promises, or a speech or a poem?

Get your celebrant involved

If you're hiring a wedding celebrant, use them as a sounding board. Send your vows to the celebrant so they can look at them both and make sure they are reasonably aligned with each other.

Ensure they sound like you

When it comes to writing your vows, follow the structure you and your partner came up with but don't be too fancy with vocabulary if you are not normally someone who uses big words. Remember you will be saying these in front of people so you don't want to trip yourself up with words you are not entirely sure how to pronounce.

Practise makes perfect

Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. You don't have to learn them by heart but you want the words to flow when you are saying them and you want to know what is coming should you find yourself overcome with emotion.

How to make your vows unique

Writing your own wedding vows is a challenging but rewarding task. Here are some tips to make your vows unique:

Start with a Template

Use a basic template as a starting point for your vows. This will help you cover all the important bases while allowing you to personalise your vows. A simple template might include an expression of love, a reaffirmation of support, personal stories, real promises, and an acknowledgement of friends and family.

Share Your Story

Recount romantic stories, funny anecdotes, or inspiring narratives about your relationship. Be sure to include the tough times as well as the good. This will make your vows more relatable and meaningful to your guests.

Make Real Promises

In addition to cute anecdotes, be sure to include concrete promises that you intend to keep throughout your marriage. These can be lighthearted, such as a promise to kill spiders, or more serious, such as a promise to always support your partner.

Keep it Concise

Aim for your vows to last about one minute or less per person. Focus on the most important promises and details, such as when you first met or said "I love you." Avoid unnecessary details and absolute words like "always" and "never."

Seek Inspiration

Draw inspiration from poetry, books, movies, songs, or even your own journal. You can also seek inspiration from your hobbies and interests. For example, if you love food, include references to shared meals or cooking experiences.

Practice and Edit

Practising your vows will help with delivery and editing. Read your vows out loud to check for flow and clarity. Edit for tone and length, and be sure to practise looking up from the page so you can make eye contact with your partner during the ceremony.

How to keep your vows concise

Writing your own wedding vows can be a challenging task, but keeping them concise is possible if you follow these steps:

Start Early

Give yourself ample time to write your vows. Starting early will allow you to gather your thoughts and make the writing process more efficient. It is recommended to have a final draft of your vows at least three weeks before your wedding day.

Discuss Expectations with Your Partner

Before you begin writing, talk to your partner about what you both expect from the vows. Agree on the length, tone, level of personalization, and when you will recite them. This will ensure you are both on the same page and help create cohesion in your ceremony.

Outline the Structure

Having a clear structure will help you stay focused and concise. You can follow a basic template that includes expressing your love, reaffirming your support, sharing personal stories, making promises, and acknowledging your loved ones. This framework will guide your writing and prevent your vows from becoming too lengthy.

Focus on Quality Over Quantity

When it comes to the content of your vows, opt for quality over quantity. Instead of trying to include every detail of your relationship, focus on the most important and memorable moments. Highlight the first time you met, shared experiences, or significant milestones. This approach will make your vows more impactful and engaging for your guests.

Avoid Absolute Words

When making promises, steer clear of absolute words like "always" and "never." Such words set unrealistic expectations and can be challenging to uphold. Instead, opt for more realistic and achievable commitments.

Edit and Shorten

Once you have a draft of your vows, go back and edit for tone and length. Refine the tone to match the sentiment you want to convey. Then, shorten your vows to ensure they are concise and to the point. Aim for a length of around one to two minutes per person.

Practice Delivery

Don't forget to practice reciting your vows aloud. This will help you with delivery, allow you to gauge the length, and ensure your guests can hear you clearly. Practicing will also help you feel more confident and comfortable on your wedding day.

How to make your vows romantic

Writing your wedding vows is a tremendous undertaking. You might feel the pressure to capture your love, hopes, and promises in a short amount of time. Here are some tips to help you craft romantic vows that will set the tone for the next chapter in your relationship.

Share Personal Stories

Recount romantic stories about how you knew your significant other was "the one". You can also share laugh-out-loud accounts of how your first date went horribly wrong, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times. These stories will make your ceremony more interesting and moving for everyone in attendance.

Include Real Promises

Vows are a serious, lifelong commitment that you're making in front of many witnesses. Include concrete promises that you'll continuously uphold throughout your marriage. These pledges don't have to be heavy. For example, you can vow to stick by your partner's side and also be the one to kill spiders.

Reaffirm Your Unwavering Support

Most wedding vows touch on standing by one another's side, through good times and bad. It's nice to communicate your intent to get through challenging periods together.

Acknowledge and Request Additional Support

You've gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but their love and support won't end there—you'll need their guidance throughout your marriage. Acknowledge the role that your loved ones have played in enhancing your relationship and call on them for additional assistance in the future.

Embrace Sentimentality

There's no better time to be sentimental than during your vow exchange. If the message feels true to you, don't worry about coming across as corny. If the words are heartfelt, then they're not cheesy.

Seek Inspiration from Pop Culture

Movies, TV shows, books, and songs are filled with eloquent words and messages about love. Consider quoting a passage from your favourite book or a line from your favourite film in your vows.

Make a Fresh Copy for the Ceremony

When you vocalize your vows, your guests will be able to see what you're reading from. Print a fresh copy or write your vows in a booklet.

How to make your vows funny

Adding a touch of humour to your wedding vows is a great way to lighten the mood and showcase your personality and relationship. Here are some tips on how to make your vows funny:

Keep it Light and Simple

It's important to remember that your wedding vows are a declaration of your love for your partner, so keep the humour light and simple. Avoid inside jokes or references that only you and your partner will understand. Instead, opt for jokes that will make your guests smile and laugh along with you.

Include Funny Stories or Anecdotes

Share funny stories or anecdotes about your relationship. It could be about how you met, a funny first date, or how you navigate everyday life together. These stories will not only make your partner and guests laugh but will also add a personal touch to your vows.

Make Lighthearted Promises

In addition to the serious promises, include some lighthearted ones that will bring a smile to your partner's face. For example, promise to always do the dishes, make them their favourite snack when they're hungover, or never steal the covers again. These promises will show your playful side and add a touch of humour to your vows.

Draw Inspiration from Pop Culture

Incorporate references from movies, TV shows, books, or songs that you both enjoy. Using well-known quotes or adapting them to fit your relationship is a great way to add humour and a touch of creativity to your vows.

Practice your Delivery

Practising your vows beforehand will help you perfect your delivery and timing. It will also allow you to gauge whether your humour is landing as intended. Practise in front of a trusted friend who can give you honest feedback and help you refine your vows.

Examples of Funny Wedding Vows:

"I promise to love you, honour you, but not obey because that's a little creepy."

"I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to."

"I promise to always support your dreams, even the one about [insert far-fetched dream]."

"I promise to open the bedroom window when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing."

"I promise to never make you read books. I vow to attend any doctor's appointment if it will make you feel better."

Frequently asked questions