Crafting Heartfelt Lesbian Wedding Vows: A Guide To Personalization

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to bare your heart in front of your friends and family and let them into your relationship. This is especially true for LGBTQ+ couples, as outdated or gendered language makes up a lot of traditional wedding vow quotes. For lesbian brides, it can be challenging to sort through the various templates to find examples that work. However, as a queer or trans couple, you have the freedom to craft wedding ceremony vows that represent your identity and your relationship without worrying too much about tradition.

Include a declaration of love and promises

The declaration of love and promises is a crucial aspect of wedding vows, and there are several ways to approach this. Firstly, it is essential to express what your partner means to you. This can be done through a simple statement, such as "you are my anchor, my rock". It is also effective to mention specific traits that make your partner amazing, such as their "honesty and integrity" or their "thoughtfulness and generosity". You can also include how your partner has helped you grow and become a better version of yourself. For instance, you could say something like, "you have taught me to love with abandon and to take the risk of vulnerability".

Additionally, it is important to be specific and meaningful. For example, "I have grown to love the lingering smell of cumin in your hair because I love the spice you add to my life". You can also add a touch of humour to your vows. Instead of saying something generic like, "nothing truly ever made sense until you came into my life", try something more unique and related to your everyday life together, such as "I promise, whenever you come home miserable after another football defeat, I’ll put on The Killers and force you to dance around the kitchen with me".

The promises section of your vows should include a few short statements about what you will do for your partner, now and in the future. For instance, "I promise to hold you lightly, but firmly as we venture through life together". It is also important to promise to always be there for your partner through thick and thin, such as "I promise to be your playmate who finds life a juicy treat and to be your lover, who makes passion delicious".

Remember, your vows are a representation of your unique love for one another, so feel free to personalise them and make them your own.

Make them short and sweet

Keeping your wedding vows short and sweet is a great way to ensure your guests remain engaged and that your partner stays attentive throughout the ceremony. Here are some tips and examples to help you write your own short and sweet wedding vows:

Tips:

• Start writing your vows early on in the wedding planning process to allow ample time for editing.
• Include a declaration of love, such as a simple statement about what your partner means to you, their amazing traits, and a short statement declaring your love.
• Include a few short promises, such as what you'll do for your partner now and in the future, and a vow to always be there for them through thick and thin.
• Aim for your vows to be 1 to 2 minutes long, or 125-300 words.

Examples:

• "I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side."
• "I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days."
• "I pledge to honor you, love you, and cherish you as my wife today and every day."
• "You are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together."
• "I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honor, love, and cherish you through all life's adventures. Wherever we go, we'll go together."
• "I vow never to watch an episode of 'The Mandalorian' without you cuddling in beside me on the sofa."
• "I promise to hold my dreams and to encourage you in holding yours as we build new ones together."
• "I promise to laugh often and pull together during hard times. I promise to work to be my best, most authentic self, every day."
• "I promise to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side—for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day."
• "I promise to be your ardent lover, your faithful companion, your steadfast friend, your greatest cheerleader, and above all, hold you gently but firmly as the love of my life as long as we both shall live."

Avoid clichés

Clichés are easy to use and can often be overlooked when writing wedding vows. However, they are unoriginal and can make your wedding seem less personal. You want your partner to feel special, and using overused phrases will prevent this.

To avoid clichés, review your wedding vows as you write them and ask yourself: Are there any clichés included? If so, can you think of a better, more original way to say the same thing? Reading your vows out loud can help with this.

Another way to avoid clichés is to give a close friend control of the editing process. Ask them to highlight any metaphors or phrases that stand out and to suggest alternatives to make your wedding vows sound more original.

• "Nothing truly ever made sense until you came into my life."
• "You are everything that I never knew I wanted in this life."
• "I'm much more 'me' when I'm with you."
• "Love isn't easy. There are no guarantees. But if you're willing to do this with me, then I promise you that I'll hold your hand and love you forever."

Instead of using clichés, focus on the unique characteristics of your relationship. For example:

• "I have grown to love the lingering smell of cumin in your hair because I love the spice you add to my life."
• "I promise, whenever you come home miserable after another football defeat, I'll put on The Killers and force you to dance around the kitchen with me."
• "I vow never to watch an episode of The Mandalorian without you cuddling in beside me on the sofa."

Make your vows specific, meaningful, and true to your relationship. Start by listing all the things you love about your partner, then throw that list away and focus on the small, everyday things that make your relationship unique.

Include humour

Injecting humour into your wedding vows can be a great way to showcase your personality as a couple and make your guests laugh. Here are some tips for including humour in your lesbian wedding vows:

Include Nicknames

Using cute and funny nicknames in your vows is a great way to add a personal and light-hearted touch. Discuss and agree on a few nicknames with your partner beforehand to ensure you're both comfortable with the level of humour.

Twist a Meaningful Message

Start your vows with a heartfelt and meaningful message, and then surprise your partner and guests by adding a funny twist. For example, you could say, "I promise to always be by your side, whether it's at the supermarket, taking over two hours to decide between different types of pasta..."

Borrow from Movies or TV Shows

Incorporating quotes or references from movies or TV shows can add a touch of humour to your vows. Be sure to use these sparingly and make sure your own voice still shines through. For example, "I promise to be your sun and stars, and to gaze at the moon with you forever, for it is plain as anyone can see, we are simply meant to be." – *The Nightmare Before Christmas*

Keep it Subtle

While humour is a great addition to your vows, remember that you're not performing at an open-mic night. Keep the jokes subtle and avoid making your partner the butt of your jokes. You don't want your spouse to feel embarrassed in front of your guests.

Avoid Inside Jokes

While it's okay to share a funny story or two, avoid filling your vows with inside jokes that only you and your partner will understand. Your guests should be able to follow along and enjoy the humour as well.

Don't Overdo It

Your vows should still have a meaningful and emotional impact. Don't fill them with joke after joke. Instead, use humour as a surprise element to keep your guests entertained and engaged.

Make them meaningful

The key to writing meaningful wedding vows is to ensure they are a true reflection of you and your partner's unique love for one another. It is important to make your vows personal and authentic. This is particularly true for LGBTQ+ couples, who may find that traditional vows are outdated and full of gendered language that doesn't reflect the nature of their relationship.

Make it specific

Make your vows specific to your partner. Reference the small things you love about them, such as how they make you feel, how they challenge you, and how they support you. For example, you could say: "You have helped me fight my demons and 'Igor' has shrunk. I feel stronger in your presence and able to take on life, knowing you are always in my corner."

Make it true

Be honest and sincere in your vows. Share how your partner has helped you grow and become a better version of yourself. For example: "I have grown to love the lingering smell of cumin in your hair because I love the spice you add to my life."

Make it meaningful

Share how your partner has made your life more beautiful and how you want to continue to build a future together. For example: "I want to make you feel like that, and I promise that’s something I’ll always try to do. I also promise to cheer you on, like you do for me, to be in your corner, as you are for me."

Include a declaration of love

Include a simple statement about what your partner means to you, the traits that make them amazing, and a short declaration of your love. For example: "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, or can imagine. And whilst that is the easiest thing to see, it is the least interesting thing about you."

Include promises

Make a few short statements about what you'll do for your partner, now and in the future, and promise to always be there for them, through thick and thin. For example: "I promise to hold you lightly, but firmly as we venture through life together. I promise to always defend your right to be you - courageous, honest, full of light."

Frequently asked questions