Franklin Dean
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, the loss of a parent or loved one can make this task tricky. It is a special and emotional time, and it is important to honour the memory of those who have passed away. While it is not customary to invite deceased people to a wedding, there are ways to include their names on the invitation to symbolise their presence in spirit. This guide will explore the different ways to tastefully and respectfully include the name of a deceased person on a wedding invitation.
What You'll Learn
Including the deceased in the invitation
If you've lost a parent, you may want to find ways to keep their memory alive on your wedding day. One way to do this is to include their name on your wedding invitation. Here are some ways to do this:
If one parent is deceased
If one parent is deceased, you can list the surviving parent's name and then include the deceased parent's name with the phrasing "and the late [parent's name]". For example:
> [Engaged person's name]
>
> child of [parent's name] and the late [parent's name]
>
> [engaged person's name]
>
> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
>
> request the honor of your presence at their marriage.
If both parents are deceased
If both parents are deceased, you can follow a similar format as above, listing both parents as "late":
> [Engaged person's name]
>
> child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]
>
> [engaged person's name]
>
> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
>
> request the honor of your presence at their marriage.
If one parent is deceased and the surviving parent has remarried
In this case, you can list the step-parent and deceased parent on the invitation:
> [Engaged person's name]
>
> child of [parent's name] and [step-parent's name]
>
> the late [deceased parent's name]
>
> [engaged person's name]
>
> child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
>
> request the honor of your presence at their marriage.
If the deceased parent has passed away a long time ago or the surviving parent has remarried
In this case, you might choose not to list the deceased parent on the invitation at all. Instead, you could consider other ways to honour them during the wedding ceremony, such as lighting a memorial candle, reserving a seat for them, or including a note "in loving memory" in the wedding program.
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Etiquette for wedding invitations with deceased parents
When it comes to wedding invitations, it is traditional to include parents' names, indicating that they are inviting guests to the celebration of their child's union. Honouring the memory of a deceased parent or parents is important to many people, and there are several ways to do this while maintaining the typical etiquette for wedding invitations.
If one parent has passed away, it can be tricky to know how to include them on the invitation. While you might include a step-parent's name, it can feel odd to exclude the other parent. In this case, you could use the following format:
[Engaged person's name]
Child of [parent's name] and the late [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
Child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
Request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
By including "late" before the deceased parent's name, their memory is honoured while making it clear that they are deceased.
When both parents are deceased, a similar format can be used:
[Engaged person's name]
Child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
Child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
Request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
If both parents are deceased, another option is to list other surviving family members, such as grandparents, aunt and uncle, or another guardian. For example:
[Engaged person's grandparent's name] and [engaged person's grandparent's name]
[Engaged person's parent's name] and [engaged person's parent's name]
Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of
[Engaged person's name]
Child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
In this way, the grandparents are listed in the parents' place as the ones issuing the invitations, while the deceased parents are still honoured.
In the case of a remarried parent, the invitation wording can become more complex. If you wish to include a step-parent and a deceased parent, the following format can be used:
[Engaged person's name]
Child of [parent's name] and [step-parent's name]
The late [deceased parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
Child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
Request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Ultimately, the decision of how to word wedding invitations is a personal one, and there is room for flexibility. Less is usually more, but it is up to individual preference. There are also other ways to honour a deceased parent during the wedding itself, such as lighting a memorial candle, reserving them a seat, including a note "in loving memory" in the wedding program, giving a toast, or reading a memorial poem.
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How to word the invitation when one parent is deceased
There are many ways to include a deceased parent on a wedding invitation. Here are some examples of how to word the invitation when one parent is deceased:
Including both parents' names
If you want to include both parents' names, you can use the following format:
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Surviving Parent's Name] and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]
>
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> child of [Surviving Parent's Name] and [Deceased Parent's Name]
>
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Jay Courier
>
> Mrs. Hannah Fullerton and the late Andrew Fullerton
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of their children
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 912 Sixth Street South
>
> Minneapolis, Minnesota
Including only the surviving parent's name
If you prefer to only include the surviving parent's name, you can use the following format:
> [Surviving Parent's Name]
>
> requests the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of [their/his/her] daughter/son
>
> [Engaged Person's Name]
>
> on [date]
>
> at [time]
>
> [venue]
For example:
> Mrs. Angela Eldridge
>
> requests the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her daughter
>
> Trevor Patrick Everett
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
>
> 1982 North Bay Avenue
>
> Knox Bay, Rhode Island
Including a step-parent and a deceased parent
If you would like to include a step-parent and a deceased parent, you can use the following format:
> [Step-parent's Name] and [Surviving Parent's Name]
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of [their/his/her] daughter/son
>
> and the late [Deceased Parent's Name]'s daughter/son
>
> on [date]
>
> at [time]
>
> [venue]
For example:
> Moira and Alistair Schiller
>
> request the honour of your presence
>
> at the marriage of her
>
> and the late Porter Blackman's daughter
>
> on Saturday, the twenty-first of July
>
> Two-thousand and twenty-six
>
> at six o'clock in the evening
Remember, these are just a few options, and you can choose to include or exclude any family members as you see fit. The most important thing is to go with your heart and honour your loved ones in a way that feels right for you.
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How to word the invitation when both parents are deceased
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, it can be tricky to know how to word the invite if you have lost one or both parents. Here is a guide on how to honour your parents in your wedding invitation if they have both passed away.
Honouring Both Deceased Parents
If you have lost both parents and want to include them on your wedding invitation, you can follow this format:
[Engaged Person's Name]
Child of the late [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]
[Engaged Person's Name]
Child of [Parent's Name] and [Parent's Name]
Request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
For example:
> Jennifer Drake,
> child of the late John Drake and Barbara Drake,
> and
> Brian Connors,
> son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors,
> request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Alternative Wording
If you would prefer not to use the word "late", you can opt for the following wording:
> Together with their families, Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, and Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors, request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
Or, for a more traditional phrasing:
> The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jennifer Drake, daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake, to Brian Connors, son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors.
Honouring Your Parents in Other Ways
If you don't want to include your parents' names on the invitation, there are other ways to honour them. Many people choose to acknowledge a deceased parent with a tribute in the wedding program, a poem or reading recited in their memory, or by playing a meaningful song at the reception.
You could also consider these ideas:
- Memorial candle: Invite guests to light a memorial candle in remembrance.
- Reserved seat: Reserve a seat at the ceremony and reception to imagine your parents are there with you.
- Wedding bouquet: Hold a bouquet that reminds you of your parents.
- Toast: Raise a glass to your parents during a wedding toast.
No matter which option you choose, the most important thing is to go with your heart and create an invitation that feels right for you.
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Ways to honour a deceased parent at a wedding
It is natural to feel the pain of losing a parent or loved one, especially as your wedding approaches. Here are some ways to honour a deceased parent at a wedding:
During Wedding Speeches
- Read a memorial poem. Poetry helps put words to feelings and experiences. You can read a poem you wrote yourself, a modern poem, or a classic piece of poetry.
- Toast your loved one, perhaps with their favourite drink.
- Read a letter from your loved one or write one of your own. Many parents write notes to their children to read on their wedding day.
- Hold a time of silence to quietly reflect on your own before the festivities start, with your partner during the ceremony, or with your guests during the reception.
- Say a prayer or share a meaningful quote, song lyric, or quote from a TV show.
During the Ceremony
- Leave a chair open in the front few rows to represent their presence.
- Light a memorial candle. In many cultures, lighting a candle is a symbol of unity. You can twist this tradition by lighting a candle to represent loved ones who have passed away.
- Write a message in the programs, such as a short tribute, their name with the words "remembering" or "in remembrance", or a meaningful quote.
- Carry a memento with you, such as their cuff links, a handkerchief, or an heirloom necklace.
- Speak to the officiant about honouring your loved one's memory during the ceremony. They may suggest reading quotes or passages or offer other tribute ideas.
During the Reception
- Play their favourite song.
- Create a commemorative presentation with slide shows, videos, and memories of your loved one.
- Visit their grave after the ceremony or reception and leave a bouquet.
- Set up a memory table with framed photos, sentimental objects, and keepsakes.
- Play their favourite song.
- Incorporate their favourite drink, perhaps with a sign at the bar saying, "share one of their favourite drinks with us".
- Honour them in the speeches or give a special toast.
- Give out wedding favours in their honour, such as jars of their favourite sweets or miniature bottles of their favourite drink.
Other Ideas
- Wear their favourite scent.
- Wear a photo boutonniere by placing their photo in a small frame and pinning it to your attire.
- Reserve a seat in the front row and decorate it with their jacket, a bouquet of flowers, or ribbons and a custom sign.
- Carry symbolic flowers, such as white roses or their favourite flowers.
- Hold a moment of reflection. You can ask your wedding officiant to announce a moment of silence at the start of the ceremony or shortly before you exchange rings.
- Include the candle-lighting ritual. Lighting a unity candle is a popular ceremony ritual for couples, but it can also be used to honour a loved one.
- Display a framed picture or portrait.
- Add a hidden patch to your attire, such as a piece of fabric that reminds you of your loved one.
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Frequently asked questions
If you want to include a deceased parent on your wedding invitation, you can use the following format:
[Engaged person's name]
child of [parent's name] and the late [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
In this case, you would use the following format:
[Engaged person's name]
child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
child of [parent's name] and [parent's name]
request the honour of your presence at their marriage.
In this case, you can list your step-parent and deceased parent on the invitation as follows:
[Step-parent's name] and [parent's name]
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of
[Engaged person's name]
child of the late [parent's name] and [parent's name]
[Engaged person's name]
It is perfectly acceptable to not include your deceased parent on the invitation. Here is a format you can use if you are inviting from a single parent:
[Parent's name]
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their [son/daughter]
[Engaged person's name]
It is generally considered inappropriate to include the name of a deceased person on the envelope. If the widow still uses her husband's name, you can address the envelope to Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]. However, if she uses her own first name, you would address it to Mrs. [Her First Name] [Her Last Name].
