Etiquette Of Listing Gifts On Wedding Invites

When it comes to wedding invites, it's often considered rude to include gift details on the invitation itself. However, it's common for guests to expect to give a gift, so it's helpful to include some information about gifts in the invitation. This can be done by including a separate gift card or a line on an information card. It's also worth noting that it's not necessary to send a gift if you're not attending the wedding.

Asking for gifts on a wedding invite can be considered rude

Asking for gifts on a wedding invitation can be considered rude or presumptuous. While guests will likely expect to give a gift, and it is common for couples to have a gift registry or wishing well, including these details on the invitation itself can be seen as tacky or inappropriate.

It is best to include this information on a separate gift card or information card, or on a wedding website. This allows guests to retain the sense that their attendance is the priority, and that any gifts are secondary. A separate card or website can also include more detailed information, such as the purpose of monetary gifts, which may be for a honeymoon, house deposit, home improvements, or charity donation.

If you would prefer not to receive gifts at all, it is still important to communicate this clearly to your guests, so they are not left confused or uncertain. A simple line on your invitation, such as "Your presence is present enough" or "We're excited for your presence, not presents", can convey this politely.

Include gift information on a separate card

While it is considered “tacky or rude” to include gift details on a wedding invitation, it is common practice to include this information on a separate card. This card can be inserted with the invitation suite, providing specific details about gifts and how they will be used. Here are some key points to consider when including gift information on a separate card:

• Emphasise the Importance of Guests' Presence: Begin by expressing that their presence at the wedding is the most important thing. Let them know that their attendance is your main priority and that their presence is a gift in itself.
• Provide Clear Gift Preferences: Inform your guests about your gift preferences. Be direct and specific about your wishes. For example, if you prefer cash gifts, let them know that a contribution towards your honeymoon or a particular fund would be appreciated.
• Share How the Gifts will be Used: Let your guests know how you intend to use their gifts. Whether it's for your honeymoon, a house deposit, home improvements, or a charity donation, sharing this information adds a personal touch and shows your guests how their contributions will make a difference.
• Include Registry or Fund Details: If you have a gift registry or a specific fund set up, provide the necessary information such as the store name, website, or any relevant codes. This makes it convenient for guests who wish to contribute to a particular item or cause.
• Suggest Alternative Options: If you prefer not to receive physical gifts, offer alternative options such as a wishing well or a contribution to a specific fund. This shows that you value your guests' contributions and want to ensure their gifts align with your needs and preferences.
• Use Polite and Gracious Wording: When writing the gift card, choose your words carefully. Express gratitude and avoid demanding language. For example, "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. If you wish to honour us with a gift, we would be grateful for a contribution to our honeymoon fund."

Including gift information on a separate card allows you to provide clear guidance to your guests while maintaining a polite and gracious tone. It ensures that your guests have the necessary information to make informed decisions about their contributions, aligning with your preferences and needs as a couple.

Guests will expect to give a gift

While it is not mandatory to give a gift when you've been invited to a wedding, it is common for guests to bring a gift to celebrate the couple's marriage. If you are inviting guests to your wedding, they will expect to give a gift, and you can help them out by including some information in your invitation about your gift preferences.

Traditionally, wedding gifts were given to help the new couple set up their life together. Gifts such as kitchenware, bedding, and other household items were welcomed. However, times have changed, and nowadays many couples already live together before getting married, so these types of gifts may not be practical.

If you are a guest, it is a good idea to check the couple's wedding website for clues about their gift preferences. The website may include extra information about their registry picks, or share details about their relationship that can help spark gift ideas.

If you are the host, there are a few options for how to address gifts in your wedding invitations:

• Include a separate gift card or a line on your information card about your gift preferences.
• Direct guests to your wedding website, where you can include more detailed information about gifts.
• Ask friends or family members to spread the word about your gift preferences.
• Set up a gift registry or honeymoon fund where guests can contribute money towards a specific purchase.

It is important to note that asking for gifts in a wedding invitation can be considered tacky or rude, so it is best to provide subtle and polite guidance to your guests rather than making direct requests.

Ask friends and family to spread the word

Asking friends and family to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts is a popular option, but it's a risky one, as it doesn't give the couple much control. It might work if you know your family and friends are good at subtly dropping things into conversation, and you're mostly expecting physical gifts from that side of the family.

However, if it's not handled delicately by the friend or family member in question, you could end up inadvertently offending your guests. To avoid this, make sure to let your family and friends know that you'd prefer cash (as well as why) and encourage them to tactfully spread the word. Chances are, guests will ask them what they should get you, and this will prepare them to share what you’re saving for, whether it’s the trip of a lifetime, a kitchen remodel, or a down payment on a home. They can then suggest that your guests make a contribution to your savings fund instead of getting you a new toaster.

If you decide to go with this option, it's a good idea to also include a line on your wedding invitations around gifting or having a 'wishing well'. This is a more direct option that will yield better results. It's not for the faint of heart, but if phrased carefully, it doesn't have to sound presumptuous. Here are some examples:

• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a list [of gift suggestions] has been registered with …"
• "Your love, laughter, and company on our wedding day are the greatest gifts of all. However, should you wish to help us celebrate with a gift, a wishing well will be provided on the day."
• "We look forward to your presence on our special day. We do nonetheless realise that some of you may wish to give us a wedding gift to commemorate our union together. After having lived on our own, we have all of the household items we need. However, for those of you who would like to give us a gift, we will have a wishing well at our reception that will go towards our future together."
• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honour us with a gift, a contribution to our honeymoon would help to create memories that will last a lifetime. A wishing well will be available on the day."

Include a 'no gifts' message on your wedding website

Include a no-gifts message on your wedding website

If you don't want to receive gifts, it's important to communicate this upfront to your guests. There are a few ways to do this, and one option is to include a "no gifts necessary" message on your wedding website. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate this etiquette gracefully:

• Insert Card with Invitation: Include a separate card within your invitation suite that offers specific details about gifts, such as "Your presence is our present; no gifts necessary." This approach ensures that your guests receive the message loud and clear.
• Direct Guests to a Wedding Website: On your invitation, you can include a link to your wedding website, where guests can find more information about the event and your wishes regarding gifts. This option gives you more flexibility in explaining your preferences.
• Offer Alternative Ways to Celebrate: Instead of a straightforward "no gifts" message, consider suggesting alternative ways for guests to celebrate your special day. For example, "In lieu of gifts, we would be grateful for contributions to our favourite charity [charity name]." This approach honours your guests' instincts to celebrate your union with a gift while aligning with your wishes.
• Emphasise Presence Over Presents: If you prefer not to receive any gifts, physical or monetary, be sure to express your wishes clearly and emphatically. Here's an example: "We are so excited to celebrate with you, and we kindly request your presence over presents."
• Provide a Honeymoon or House Fund Option: If you're comfortable with the idea, you can suggest that guests contribute to a specific fund for your honeymoon or a new home. This approach acknowledges their generosity while ensuring that their contributions align with your needs and preferences.

• "For more information about our wedding, please visit [insert wedding website link]. In lieu of gifts, we would appreciate a contribution to our honeymoon fund."
• "Please, no physical gifts. If you wish to honour us, consider making a donation to our favourite charity, [charity name], which is close to our hearts."
• "Your presence at our wedding means the world to us, and we kindly request no gifts. We have everything we need and just want to celebrate with you!"

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