Planning A Wedding: A Guide To Getting Started

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and overwhelming task, especially if you've never organised an event of this scale before. Luckily, there are many guides, tips, and tools available to help you plan your dream wedding and ensure your big day goes smoothly. From creating a comprehensive schedule to deciding on a theme and writing your vows, there are many aspects to consider when planning a wedding.

Budgeting and selecting vendors

Budgeting is a crucial aspect of wedding planning, as it will influence every decision and purchase you make. Start by determining how much you and your partner can contribute to the wedding. Be realistic about what you can afford, taking into account your daily expenses, debts, and any upcoming costs. If you have family or friends who are willing to help financially, factor in their contributions, but be mindful of their expectations for how the money is spent.

Next, consider the type of wedding you want and the number of guests. This will give you an idea of the scale and cost of the event. Be mindful that wedding costs can vary significantly, so it's essential to research and plan accordingly. You can create a spreadsheet to track expenses and get quotes from vendors to ensure you're on the right track.

When selecting vendors, it's essential to choose professionals who understand your vision and priorities. Start by identifying your wedding values and must-haves, such as sustainability, inclusion, photography, or music. Then, create a wedding inspiration board to help vendors grasp your theme and style.

Before reaching out to vendors, it's helpful to have a clear idea of the wedding planning basics, such as the date, location, and size of the event. If you have a superstar vendor, like a sought-after photographer, their availability may even influence your wedding date, so it's worth inquiring early.

When evaluating vendors, always review their previous work. Ask to see portfolios, samples, and completed projects that align with your vision and style. Pay attention to their professionalism and how they make you feel during your interactions. Are they responsive to your questions, and do they prioritize your needs?

Additionally, many wedding venues have preferred vendor lists, and using vendors with experience at your location can simplify the planning process. Don't hesitate to ask the venue management for their feedback on specific vendors to gain further insights.

Remember, your vendor team plays a significant role in making your big day perfect, so choose wisely and trust your instincts.

Creating a guest list

Next, allocate the guest count among the people involved in planning. Lizzie Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, suggests two methods. The first is to divide the total count into thirds, with one-third each for the couple, the bride's parents, and the groom's parents. The second method is to assign 50% of the invites to the couple and 25% to each set of parents. If you and your partner are paying for the wedding, you may choose to allocate a larger percentage to yourselves.

Now, it's time to decide who makes the cut. Start with immediate family, as they are almost always included. For cousins and distant relatives, consider drawing a line at a specific degree of relation, such as inviting only first cousins and not second cousins. This helps maintain consistency and makes it easier to trim the list.

When it comes to friends, a practical rule of thumb is to consider the frequency of interaction. Ask yourself: "Have we had dinner with this person in the last year? Can we see ourselves socialising with them in the future?". If you're unsure, it's better to put them on your B-list. Additionally, consider whether not inviting them would create an awkward situation, especially if you frequently interact with them.

Another way to streamline your guest list is to make the wedding adults-only. This automatically reduces the number of guests and eliminates the need to accommodate children's needs. Plus, it gives parents in your guest list a kid-free night to enjoy the celebration.

Remember, your wedding is about celebrating with people who matter to you and your partner. So, don't feel obligated to invite everyone. Take your time, be consistent, and make decisions that align with your vision for the big day.

Planning the schedule

Step 1: Determine the Wedding Vision and Budget

Before diving into the schedule, it's essential to have a clear understanding of the wedding vision and budget. Discuss with your partner and decide on the overall theme, style, and tone you envision for your wedding. This will guide your decisions about the venues, vendors, and other details. Additionally, create a realistic budget that outlines how much you can spend on different aspects of the wedding, such as the venue, catering, entertainment, etc.

Step 2: Create a Timeline

Construct a detailed timeline for your wedding day and share it with your vendors, wedding party, and family members involved in the festivities. Include times for hair and makeup appointments, vendor arrivals, transportation to the ceremony location, the couple's arrival at the reception, and key moments like speeches, the first dance, cake-cutting, and any other unique traditions or activities you plan to incorporate. This timeline will ensure everyone is coordinated and on schedule.

Step 3: Finalize Vendors and Details

Decide on and book your vendors, including caterers, photographers, entertainment, and any other services you require. Ensure they are aware of your schedule and provide them with arrival times and specific instructions. Discuss and confirm all the details, such as the menu, drinks, decorations, and any special requests or surprises you want to include in your wedding.

Step 4: Plan Auxiliary Events

Don't forget to schedule auxiliary events leading up to and after the wedding, such as the rehearsal dinner, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and a day-after brunch or activity for close family and friends. These events are an essential part of the overall celebration and should be coordinated with the same attention to detail as the wedding day itself.

Step 5: Prepare for the Unexpected

Finally, it's always a good idea to build some flexibility into your schedule. Weddings rarely go exactly according to plan, and unexpected delays or changes may occur. Allow for some buffer time between activities, and communicate with your wedding party and vendors about any last-minute changes. This will help keep everyone calm and ensure the day flows smoothly, even if there are minor hiccups.

Remember, this is your special day, and it should reflect your unique relationship. Enjoy the planning process, and don't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or even a wedding planner if needed!

Writing vows and speeches

Vows

Writing your own vows can be exciting and daunting at the same time. The key is to ensure they reflect the unique bond between you and your partner. It is a good idea to start by collecting your thoughts and intentions and putting them on paper. You can then refine them into vows that are personalised and meaningful.

If you are unsure where to begin, consider the following questions: Where did you meet? What did you first think of them? Was there a specific moment when you realised you loved this person? You can also look to examples, both real and fictional, for inspiration. Consult friends, scour the internet, or watch marriage scenes from your favourite movies and TV shows. Remember to connect with your partner about the structure and tone of your vows. Are you both aiming for a comedic, lighthearted feel, or would you prefer to exchange more stoic, traditional, or religious vows?

Once you have written your vows, it is a good idea to practice saying them aloud. This will help you capture the right tone and speed, and it will also make you feel more comfortable delivering them in front of your loved ones on the big day.

Speeches

Giving a wedding speech can be nerve-wracking, but with preparation, you can deliver a speech that will rock. Firstly, plan ahead with the wedding planner or MC so you know when you will be speaking. It is important to give yourself enough time to write, edit, and review your speech with a trusted friend. You can also reach out to the married couple to ask them questions about their relationship and significant moments in their journey. Remember to ask about any boundaries or sensitive topics to avoid. While most speeches focus on the relationship with one member of the couple, try to include both of them.

Keep the speech short and sweet, aiming for between two and five minutes. Avoid flowery language and clunky metaphors, and instead, write something that sounds like you. Practise reading your speech aloud, and change any phrasing that feels awkward. Time yourself and edit your speech to ensure it stays within the time limit.

Finally, finish your speech with a toast to the happy couple. It is fine to have a drink to calm your nerves, but don't overdo it. Know your audience and avoid anything vulgar or inappropriate. Keep the jokes classy and PG-13.

Organising food and drink

Food and drink are a big part of the wedding experience, so it's important to get them right. The first step is to determine your budget, the meal formality (a casual buffet or a seated four-course dinner), and a general wedding theme. This will help you decide on the types of food and drink you want to serve. If you're feeling stuck for ideas, your catering team will be able to share their expert recommendations.

Next, you'll want to decide whether to go with the venue's in-house caterer, a recommended caterer, or an outside option, like your favourite food truck. Once you've found your caterer, it's time for a tasting so that you can get a sense of their style and what they offer. You can then finalise the menu, choosing options that fit your budget, tastes, and timing. If you're hand-selecting each item, make sure to include a range of appetisers, mains, sides, desserts, and drinks. You could also incorporate food and drinks that reflect your relationship, such as a dish you ate on your first date or your go-to drinks as signature cocktails.

To prevent crowding, consider offering pre-made charcuterie cups filled with cheeses, meats, crackers, and fruits. Interactive elements and food stations, like a cheese station or a sushi station, will also help your guests remember your special day. If you're planning an early dinner, it's a good idea to organise a late-night snack to keep your guests satiated, like pizza, sliders, tacos, or grilled sandwiches. If you're serving alcohol, make sure there's enough food so that your guests don't get too drunk, and be aware that some vendors will require a meal as part of their contract.

Finally, create a comprehensive wedding-day schedule to ensure everything runs smoothly. Include key timings, such as when vendors will arrive, transportation to and from the ceremony location, the couple's arrival at the reception, speeches, the first dance, and when the cake will be cut. Send copies of the schedule to your vendors, the maid of honour, and key family members.

Frequently asked questions