Big Wedding, Bigger Guest List: Navigating The Numbers

The number of people that constitute a big wedding is subjective and varies from person to person and place to place. Some people consider a wedding with 100 guests to be big, while others believe that a wedding is only big if it has more than 200 guests. The average number of wedding guests is 120, but this number can vary greatly depending on cultural and religious differences, family size, and friend groups. Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide how many people they want to invite to their wedding, keeping in mind their budget and venue capacity.

What is considered a big wedding?

The definition of a "big wedding" varies from person to person and place to place. While some people consider a wedding with 100 or more guests to be big, others believe that a wedding with 200 or more guests is big. Some people also consider the size of the venue when defining a big wedding. For example, a wedding with 80 guests may feel big if the venue is small. On the other hand, a wedding with 200 guests may not feel as big if the venue is huge.

According to wedding planners, a small wedding typically includes 50 people or fewer, a medium wedding has a guest list of anywhere from 50 to 150 guests, and a large wedding has over 150 attendees. However, these numbers may vary depending on who you ask. For some people, a wedding with 75 to 150 guests is considered average, and anything over 150 is considered large.

When deciding on the size of your wedding, it's important to consider your budget and the type of wedding you want. If you have a large budget, you may be able to afford a bigger wedding with more guests. On the other hand, if you want a more intimate wedding, you may choose to have a smaller guest list. Ultimately, the decision of what constitutes a big wedding is subjective and depends on individual preferences and circumstances.

How to decide on the number of guests?

Deciding on the number of guests to invite to your wedding can be a challenging task. Here are some tips to help you determine the right number:

Consider Your Budget and Venue

The number of guests you can invite will largely depend on your budget and the venue you choose. It's essential to set a realistic budget and find a venue that can accommodate your guest list. Creating a guest list that fits within your budget constraints is crucial.

Understand the Impact of Guest Count on Wedding Size

The size of your wedding party should ideally be proportionate to the overall size of your wedding. For instance, if you're planning an intimate gathering of 50 people, a large wedding party of 20 might not be the best fit. Conversely, if you're expecting 200 or more guests, a larger wedding party becomes more appropriate.

Prioritize the People Closest to You

When deciding on the guest list, focus on inviting the people who are closest to you and your partner. Ask yourselves, "Does spending time with them bring us joy?" or "Would we take them out for a $300-plus meal?" Include those who bring happiness to your life and will be excited to celebrate your special day with you.

Be Mindful of Plus-Ones

When creating your guest list, consider whether to offer plus-ones to your guests. Guests with long-term or live-in partners should generally be invited together. For other guests, you can decide on a case-by-case basis, taking into account their comfort and your relationship with them.

Manage Expectations and Stay True to Your Vision

Remember that your wedding is about celebrating your love and surrounding yourself with people who are important to you. Stay true to your vision and don't feel obligated to invite people out of obligation or to meet certain expectations. It's your day, and you should decide who you want to share it with.

How to decide on a wedding party size?

Deciding on the size of your wedding party is a very personal decision and will depend on a number of factors. Here are some things to consider when making your choice:

Budget

The number of people in your wedding party will impact your budget. If you plan to have your bridesmaids carrying bouquets and groomsmen wearing boutonnieres, you will need to factor in the cost of these floral arrangements. You may also want to give gifts to your wedding party as a thank you, and you may need to cover transportation costs for photographs. A larger wedding party will mean higher costs, so this may be a deciding factor in how many people you choose to include.

Venue

The size of your venue may dictate the size of your wedding party. Contact your venue to ask about any restrictions on the number of people who can stand with you during the ceremony or be seated in the front row. Smaller or public venues may not allow for a large wedding party, so it's important to check before finalising your plans.

Responsibilities

It's important to consider the role you want your wedding party to play. Bridesmaids and groomsmen typically take on important responsibilities, including planning events like the wedding shower and bachelor/bachelorette parties, as well as providing support and a sounding board during the planning process. The more people you have in your wedding party, the more opinions and ideas you will need to navigate and compromise between. If you prefer to keep the planning process more streamlined, you may opt for a smaller wedding party.

Dynamics

When deciding on the size of your wedding party, think about the dynamics between the people you choose to include. While you can include as many or as few people as you like, it's important to select individuals who are supportive, responsive, and communicative. They should also be able to handle any responsibilities you assign to them. If you have a large group of friends and are struggling to narrow it down, consider opting for a larger wedding party or finding alternative ways to include those who are special to you, such as assigning them other roles like usher or ceremony reader.

Formality

The formality of your wedding may also influence the size of your wedding party. Generally, larger and more formal weddings tend to have more attendants, while smaller or more informal weddings may have just a few or even none at all. If you're having a city hall wedding, for example, you may opt for a smaller wedding party or none at all.

Ultimately, the decision on wedding party size is a personal one and should be based on what feels right for you and your partner. Don't feel pressured to include everyone, and remember that it's your day, so create a wedding that truly represents you as a couple!

How to decide on a venue?

Deciding on a venue for a big wedding involves many considerations. Here is a comprehensive guide to help you choose the perfect venue:

Start with the Basics

First, decide on the style of your wedding: will it be big or small, outdoors or indoors, rustic or glamorous? Knowing these basics will help narrow down your venue options.

Choose a Location

The location of your wedding can be anywhere from a hometown to a dream destination. If you opt for a destination wedding, consider a scenic backdrop and the perks that come with it. If you go for a traditional location, the convenience for you and your guests is a big plus.

Decide on the Ceremony and Reception Venue

Some couples opt for separate venues for the ceremony and reception, while others prefer the convenience of a single location. If you choose separate venues, ensure there is ample travel time between the two, and consider which location will be used for pictures.

Determine Your Budget

Your budget is a crucial factor when selecting a venue. The venue and catering will likely comprise about half of your total wedding budget. In the US, couples spend an average of $5,400 on the venue alone, with most spending between $2,700 and $10,500. The cost varies depending on the location, with rural areas generally being more affordable than major cities.

Estimate Your Guest Count

Knowing your expected guest count is essential, as every venue has a capacity limit. This number is usually firm and non-negotiable, so ensure you have a good estimate before selecting a venue. There is a significant difference between a venue that can accommodate 50 versus 150 guests.

Think About Your Priorities

Consider what your dream venue would include. For example, do you want an outdoor space, in-house catering, a rustic feel, accommodations for out-of-town guests, etc.? Prioritize three must-have features to help guide your search.

Pick Your Wedding Style

Discuss the style and aesthetic you envision for your wedding. Do you want a sumptuous hotel, a rustic barn, a beach venue, or a modern art gallery? Knowing your desired style will help narrow down your options.

Consider Practicalities

When considering venues, don't forget the practical aspects:

• Timing and availability: Narrow down a few potential dates or a time of year for your wedding. Some venues may be more flexible with dates, while others are booked up to 12-18 months in advance.
• Backup plan for outdoor weddings: If you plan an outdoor wedding, ensure the venue has suitable indoor spaces or backup plans in case of bad weather.
• Accessibility and convenience: Think about the venue's proximity to an airport, nearby accommodations, ease of navigation, accessibility for people with disabilities, and parking availability.
• Catering options: Decide whether you want internal or external caterers, and ensure they can accommodate any dietary restrictions your guests may have.
• Supplier rules: If you want to bring in your own suppliers, confirm if the venue allows this, as some venues require you to choose from their list of recommended suppliers.
• Entertainment options: Check if the venue allows your desired entertainment, especially if it involves fire or loud music.
• Packages: Many venues offer packages that include various services like catering, entertainment, and venue hire for a discounted price. Clarify what is included in the package to avoid surprise costs.

Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, choose a venue that feels right and aligns with your vision. It should be a place where you can envision celebrating your special day with joy and happiness.

Happy venue hunting!

How to cut down a guest list?

How to Cut Down a Guest List

Creating a guest list is one of the most important jobs when it comes to planning a wedding. It can influence everything from the venue to the budget. Cutting down a guest list is never fun, but sometimes it needs to be done. Here are some tips on how to reduce your guest list without causing offence.

Pick a Venue First

Before you start thinking about who to invite, it's a good idea to choose your venue. If your venue can only accommodate 50 people, then you can't have a guest list of 200.

Be Realistic

You can't invite everyone you know, and some people are going to be disappointed. Remember, this is your day, so do what is best for you and your partner.

Prioritise Close Friends and Family

One way to cut down your guest list is to only invite close friends and family. Wedding planner Oniki Hardtman suggests making a list of the people you couldn't wait to tell about your engagement. These are the people you have regular conversations with and should be at the top of your list.

Cut Plus Ones and Parents' Friends

If your list is still too long, you could consider eliminating plus ones and parents' friends. Wedding planner Assumpta Vitcu advises that when spaces are limited, it is best to prioritise immediate family and very close friends. If you don't want to cut out plus ones altogether, you could be selective about who you give them to. Those in long-term relationships are more likely to be upset if only one half of the couple is invited.

Have a Child-Free Wedding

Another way to reduce your guest list is to make your wedding adults-only. Wedding planner Ivy Summer recommends asking your wedding planner about ways to incorporate virtual guests, such as through internet broadcast. This can be a sensitive subject, but it can help to cut numbers and give parents a night off.

Get Firm with Family

If you haven't spoken to certain relatives in years, don't feel obliged to invite them. Your wedding day is for you and your partner, not a family reunion. Wedding planner Cherelle Joseph recommends making a rule and upholding it across both families to avoid causing offence.

Don't Return the Invite

If you're only inviting someone because they invited you to their wedding years ago, cross them off your list. Chances are, they won't be expecting an invitation, especially if your friendship has fizzled out.

Cut Out Colleagues

You don't have to invite colleagues, even if you spend a lot of time with them at work. Only invite co-workers that you see outside of work and will still be friends with if the company dissolves tomorrow.

Be Honest and Personal

If you do have to uninvite someone, it's important to be open and honest. Explain why you're cutting back on invitees and try to do it face-to-face or via video chat. Most people will be forgiving and understand that weddings are complicated and expensive.

Frequently asked questions