Deborah Chan
Writing a wedding announcement with divorced parents can be tricky, but it's important to remember that every family is unique and you should do what feels right for you. There are, however, some traditional wedding etiquette rules to follow if you wish. Firstly, divorced parents' names should never appear on the same line, even if they are both unmarried. Secondly, the mother's name is usually listed first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name goes first. Thirdly, traditionally only the parents' names appear, but it is acceptable to include step-parents. If you are unsure about how to word your wedding announcement, consider using Together with their families to keep things simple and uncluttered.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Divorced parents' names | Never appear on the same line |
| Mother's name | Goes first unless not contributing financially to the wedding |
| Step-parents' names | Include if you want to |
| Bride's parents | Include if they are covering all the wedding expenses |
| Couple's parents | Include if they are financially contributing |
| Deceased parent's name | Include if you want to honour them |
What You'll Learn
Include both parents' names, but on separate lines
When it comes to wedding invitation wording, it's important to remember that you should do what feels right for your family. If you want to include both of your parents' names, but they are divorced, there are a few ways to approach this. Firstly, it is important to note that the mother's name always comes first, unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name would go first. Here are some examples of how to word the invitation with both parents' names included but on separate lines:
Both Parents Remarried:
If both of your parents have remarried, you can include all of their names, keeping each parent on a separate line. An example of this would be:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
Divorced Parents, Woman Remarried:
If your mother has remarried and has a different last name, you can include her new last name to prevent confusion. Here is an example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
Divorced Parents, Not Remarried, Woman Kept Married Name:
If your parents are not remarried and your mother kept her married name, you can write:
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Brett James Underwood
Divorced Parents, Not Remarried, Woman Uses Maiden Name:
If your mother uses her maiden name and therefore has a different surname to you, it is a good idea to include your full name to prevent any confusion. An example of this would be:
> Ms. Sarah Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
> Michael Alan Timmons
Remember, if you are including the names of divorced parents, their names should never appear on the same line, even if they are both unmarried. Also, there should be no "and" between the names, as this signifies marriage.
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List mother's name first
When it comes to wedding announcements, there are many ways to navigate the tricky situation of divorced parents. Here are some instructive examples to help you craft the perfect announcement with your mother's name listed first:
Divorced Parents, Not Remarried:
If your parents are divorced and not remarried, the standard format is to list your mother's name first, followed by your father's name, with no "and" between them. Using "Ms." followed by your mother's first and last name is recommended to avoid any confusion, especially if she has reverted to her maiden name. Here's how it could look:
> Ms. Sarah Smith
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
>
> Michael Alan Timmons
>
> to
>
> Avery June Smith
>
> daughter of Sarah Smith and John Smith
>
> and
>
> Ryan Thomas
>
> son of Rebecca Thomas and Henry Thomas
Divorced Parents, Mother Remarried:
If your mother has remarried, it is appropriate to include your mother's new last name to prevent confusion. Here's an example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
>
> Michael Alan Timmons
>
> to
>
> Avery June Smith
>
> daughter of Sarah Jones (née Smith) and John Smith
>
> and
>
> Ryan Thomas
>
> son of Rebecca Thomas and Henry Thomas
Divorced Parents, Both Remarried:
When both your mother and father have remarried, include their new last names to provide clarity. Here's how the announcement could be worded:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
>
> Michael Alan Timmons
>
> to
>
> Avery June Smith
>
> daughter of Sarah Jones (née Smith) and John Smith
>
> and
>
> Ryan Thomas
>
> son of Rebecca Thomas and Henry Thomas
Divorced and Remarried Parents with Stepparents:
If you want to include your stepparents in the announcement, a possible format is to list your mother and stepfather on one line and your father and stepmother on the next line, without an "and" between them. Here's an example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
> Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Doe
> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
>
> Michael Alan Timmons
>
> to
>
> Avery June Smith
>
> daughter of Sarah Jones (née Smith) and John Smith
>
> and
>
> Ryan Thomas
>
> son of Rebecca Thomas and Henry Thomas
Remember, these are just some examples, and you can modify them to fit your specific needs and preferences. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you and your family.
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Include step-parents' names
When it comes to wedding announcements, the traditional approach is to include only the parents' names, but it is perfectly acceptable to include step-parents. Here are some instructive examples of how to word wedding announcements when including step-parents:
Including Your Stepdad
If you wish to include just your stepdad on your wedding announcement, a slight tweak to the wording is needed:
> "Neena and Kenneth Peterson invite you to the marriage of Neena's daughter, Hunter Walter Franke, on Saturday, August 25th, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon at Sunflower Hills Farm, 19 East Forrest Heights."
If you also want to include your father, the wording can be adjusted as follows:
> "Along with Neena and Kenneth Peterson, [your father's name] invites you to the marriage of their daughter, Hunter Walter Franke, on Saturday, August 25th, two thousand twenty-seven, at one o'clock in the afternoon at Sunflower Hills Farm, 19 East Forrest Heights."
Including Your Stepmom
Including your stepmom on the announcement can be done in the following way:
> "Brandon and Amber Radcliffe request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Brandon's daughter on Saturday, the tenth of November, two thousand twenty-seven, at two o'clock in the afternoon."
To add your mother or your partner's parents, the following example can be used:
> "Brandon and Amber Radcliffe, along with Reyna Marie, and John and Patricia Smith, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children on Saturday, the tenth of November, two thousand twenty-seven, at two o'clock in the afternoon."
Including Both Step-Parents
If you want to include both your step-parents, there are two ways to do so. The first option is more detailed:
> "Along with Elise & Christine Hanley, and Olivia & Addison Martin, request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of December, two thousand twenty-seven, at five o'clock in the evening, 1304 East Harbor Avenue, Greenwood, North Carolina."
The second option is more concise:
> " [Your name] requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children on Saturday, the twenty-sixth of December, two thousand twenty-seven, at five o'clock in the evening, 1304 East Harbor Avenue, Greenwood, North Carolina."
General Guidelines
When including divorced parents on your wedding announcement, keep the following guidelines in mind:
- Divorced parents' names should never appear on the same line, even if they are both unmarried.
- The mother's name is usually listed first, unless she is not financially contributing to the wedding, in which case the father's name goes first.
- If one parent has been remarried for a significant time and the stepparent has played an important role in your life, it is appropriate to include their name on the same line as their spouse.
- If you are faced with multiple sets of remarried parents, you can list each couple on their own line or use the phrase "Together with their families" to keep the announcement uncluttered.
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Include both parents' names if they're covering expenses
When it comes to wedding announcements and invitations, there are many ways to include both parents' names, even if they are divorced and covering expenses. Here are some tips and examples to help you navigate this situation:
Separate Lines for Parents: It is customary for divorced parents' names to appear on separate lines, even if they are both unmarried. This format can be used regardless of whether they have remarried or retained their previous married names. Here's an example:
"Ms. Sarah Smith
Mr. John Smith
Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
Michael Alan Timmons"
Mother's Name First: Traditionally, the mother's name is listed first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding. In such cases, the father's name takes precedence. This is an important consideration if one parent is bearing a larger share of the expenses. Here's how it could look:
"Mr. John Smith
Ms. Sarah Smith
Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
Michael Alan Timmons"
Include Step-parents: If your parents have remarried, it is perfectly acceptable to include your step-parents' names on the invitation. You can choose to list them alongside your biological parents or include them in a separate line. Here's an example with step-parents included:
"Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones
Mr. John Smith
Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter
Michael Alan Timmons"
Collaborative Wording: If both sets of parents are contributing financially to the wedding, you can use collaborative wording to indicate their joint support. Here's an example:
"Along with Mr. & Mrs. John Underwood
Request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their children
On Saturday, the twenty-sixth of June
Two thousand twenty-seven
At one o'clock in the afternoon
777 East Grand Avenue
Prairie Fields, Iowa"
Individual Conversations: Before finalising the wording, it is advisable to have open and honest conversations with each parent individually. Discuss your hopes, plans, and budget expectations separately with each parent, emphasising that their contributions are about supporting you and your partner. This can help set a positive tone and minimise potential conflicts.
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Use Together with their families
If you're going for a "Together with their families" approach, here are some ideas for how to word your wedding announcement:
Host Line
The host line is where you list who's hosting the wedding (i.e., paying for it). Traditionally, this would be the bride's parents, but nowadays, it may be both sets of parents, the couple themselves, or a combination of the couple and both sets of parents. If you're opting for the latter, you can use "Together with their families" as the host line. This option is also a good way to keep the invitation uncluttered if there are multiple remarried parents involved.
Attendance Request
The attendance request lets guests know exactly what they're being invited to. Here are some ideas for this section:
- "Request the honour of your presence" (for a formal, religious ceremony)
- "Request the pleasure of your company" (for a non-religious ceremony)
- "Invite you to celebrate with them"
- "Would love for you to join them"
- "Invite you to share in their joy"
Names
The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text and perhaps a fancy typeface. For a formal invitation, use the full names, including middle names. If one person's parents are hosting, it's customary to leave off that person's last name unless they have a different last name from their parents or their partner's parents are involved in hosting.
Date and Time
For a formal invitation, the date and time should be written out in full. For a more informal invitation, you can use numerals. Be sure to use a legible font to avoid confusion (e.g., between "2" and "5"). Here are some examples:
- "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon" (formal)
- "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon" (informal)
Location
Write the name and full street address of the venue, including the state and zip code. If your wedding is abroad, include the country as well. If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply say "Reception to follow." Otherwise, include the full address and other details on a separate card tucked into the invitation.
Reception Details
If the reception is at the same location, you can say something like "Dinner and dancing to follow" or "Cake, punch, and merriment to follow." If it's at a different location, give the full address and other details. You can also set the tone for the reception with a phrase like "Join us for an intimate dinner following..." or "Drinks, dancing, and shenanigans to follow."
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Frequently asked questions
The "and" signifies marriage and is only used to unite married couples. Instead, list your parents' names on separate lines with no conjoining word.
The mother's name always goes first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name goes first.
It is completely acceptable to include step-parents. If a step-parent has played an important role in your life, list their name on the same line as their spouse.
If only your mother is hosting, the wording can be: " [Mother's name] invites you to the marriage of her daughter [daughter's name] [son-in-law's name] on [date] at [time]". If only your father is hosting, the same format can be used with gendered words changed.
If both your parents are hosting and one has remarried, the wording can be: " [Mother's name] and [father's name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [daughter's name] on [date] at [time]".
