Wording Wedding Invites: No Kids, No Plus Ones

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to navigating tricky guest list decisions. One of the most common questions couples face is how to inform guests about their preference for a child-free wedding or their decision to not offer plus-ones. This article will provide tips and examples for politely wording wedding invitations to convey these preferences without causing offence. From subtle hints to direct statements, we'll explore the best approaches to ensure your special day goes smoothly.

How to politely say 'no kids'

Deciding not to invite children to your wedding is perfectly acceptable, but it can be a sensitive issue for some guests. Here are some ways to politely communicate that children are not invited:

Be Direct and Clear

Use clear and direct language to inform your guests that children are not invited. Avoid simply saying "no kids" or "no children". Instead, be specific about which age groups cannot attend. For example, you could say, "We respectfully request no children under the age of 18 at the reception."

Address the Invitations Properly

Only list the names of those invited on the inner envelope. For example, if a couple with children is invited, address the outer envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" and the inner envelope to "John and Jane Smith". This makes it clear that their children are not included in the invitation.

Provide Advance Notice

Give your guests with children plenty of notice so they can make childcare arrangements. Include a note on your wedding website or send a save-the-date with this information. That way, they have time to hire a sitter if needed.

Be Consistent

Apply the "no kids" rule consistently to all guests. You can make exceptions for children of immediate family members or those in the wedding party, but be sure to let other guests know about these exceptions.

Offer Alternatives

If possible, consider providing alternatives for guests with children, such as a creche or professional babysitting service at the venue or a nearby hotel. This can help guests attend more easily without their children.

Be Understanding

Remember that guests with children may not be able to attend due to childcare constraints. Accept their decision gracefully, and don't take it personally.

Sample Wording

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
• "The couple requests an adults-only event."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot host any children at our wedding. We appreciate your understanding."
• "We are unable to accommodate children at our wedding. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend."
• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."

Wording for a child-free wedding

If you're planning a child-free wedding, it's important to carefully consider how to communicate this to your guests. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your invitations in a polite and considerate way:

Be Direct but Polite

It's important to be direct and clear in your invitation wording. Simply stating "no kids" or "no children" may not be enough. Be specific about which age groups cannot attend and use clear phrases such as “adults-only affair" or "adults-only reception." For example:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16/18 at the reception."
• "The couple requests this be an adults-only event."

Address Invitations Properly

Ensure that you only address the invitations to those who are invited. If using inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope should include the guest's mailing address, while the inner envelope lists the names of the specific guests invited. This makes it clear that only those listed are invited.

Provide Advance Notice

It's important to give parents enough notice to make childcare arrangements. Send out "save-the-dates" with your wedding website information, including a note in the FAQ section about your child-free request. This gives guests with children time to plan.

Be Consistent

Apply the "no children" rule consistently to all guests. You can make exceptions for children of immediate family, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, and flower girls, but be sure to let other guests know about these exceptions.

Offer Alternatives

If possible, consider providing alternatives for guests with children, such as recommending babysitting options in the area or offering a creche/professional babysitting service at the venue. This can help make it easier for guests with children to attend.

Be Sensitive but Firm

Some parents may be sensitive about leaving their children behind, and it's okay if they choose not to attend. Remember that you are justified in having a child-free wedding, and don't let anyone guilt-trip you about your decision. Be sensitive in your dealings with upset parents, but remain firm in your decision.

Examples for Different Scenarios

When your venue doesn't allow children:

• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
• "Due to safety reasons at our venue, we are unable to extend this invitation to children."
• "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."

When you are allowing certain children:

• "Unfortunately, as much as we’d love to invite all of our friends’ children, we can only accommodate a few close family children. We hope that you will understand and still join us."
• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of immediate family to our wedding."
• "We are only able to accommodate the children of the wedding party."

When you want to keep it simple:

• "We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding."
• "We would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion."
• "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding."

When you're inviting children to part of the wedding:

• "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from X pm onwards, the wedding will be adults only."
• "Children outside the wedding party are not invited for the ceremony, but are welcome for the reception from X pm."
• "Following the ceremony and drinks reception, please join us for an adults-only reception at X pm."

When you're keeping costs down:

• "As much as we would like to invite all the children of our loved ones, we will only be able to welcome over-18s due to budget constraints."
• "While we adore your children, our budget will only allow us to accommodate adult guests."

Examples of 'no kids' wording

Examples of No-Kids Wording

If you want to have a child-free wedding, it's important to carefully consider how to word your invitations. Here are some examples of polite and considerate ways to let your guests know that children are not invited:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16/18 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate children – thank you for your understanding."
• "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "We respectfully advise this is an adult-only event."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited seating/venue restrictions."
• "We respectfully request that no children attend the ceremony and reception. Thank you in advance for understanding."
• "We would love to include everyone's children, but the wedding will have youth attendants."
• "We are very sorry, but due to restrictions at our venue, we cannot accommodate children."
• "Due to space constraints, we are only able to invite the children of immediate family to our wedding."
• "We are unable to accommodate children at our wedding. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend."
• "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from X pm onwards, the wedding will be adults only."
• "We respectfully request that under-18s do not attend the reception."
• "We are only able to accommodate the children of the wedding party."
• "We truly wish we could invite all our guests' children to our wedding, however, we are only able to invite the children of our immediate families."

It is generally recommended to avoid explicitly stating "adults only" or "no children" on the invitation itself. Instead, you can subtly convey the message through your reception card or by addressing the envelopes correctly. You can also include a line on your response/RSVP card, such as "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception."

How to address the envelopes

When it comes to addressing your wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your guests understand that you are hosting an adults-only event. Here are some tips and suggestions for addressing your envelopes:

• Outer and Inner Envelopes: If you are using formal invitations with an outer and inner envelope, you can be direct about who is invited. The outer envelope should feature the guest's mailing address, while the inner envelope includes only the title and last name of each adult guest. This makes it clear that only the specified individuals are invited.
• Response Cards: You can also reinforce the adults-only message by writing the exact names of the invited guests on the response card. This way, they will check "will attend" or "will not attend" for the specified number of guests.
• E-RSVP: If you are using an electronic RSVP system, set the drop-down options to allow responses for the specified number of invited guests only.
• Be Clear and Specific: When addressing your envelopes, use clear and specific language. Include the names of the adult guests you are inviting, such as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." Avoid addressing the invitation to "The Smith Family," which may imply that children are also invited.
• Reserve Spots: On your response card, you can indicate the number of spots reserved for your guests. For example, "We have reserved two spots for you." This reinforces that the invitation is for adults only.
• Personal Notes: If you are close to friends or family with children, consider including a personal note with the invitation to express your apologies for not being able to include their little ones. This can help avoid any misunderstandings and show that you are sensitive to their situation.
• Be Consistent: It is important to apply the adults-only rule consistently across your guest list. You can make exceptions for children of immediate family members or those in the wedding party, but be sure to communicate this clearly to other guests to avoid confusion.
• Avoid Patronising Wording: While you may be tempted to say something like, "We thought you'd appreciate a night off!" or "To give you the opportunity to really let your hair down…", these phrases can come across as patronising and may not be well-received by parents.
• Provide Advance Notice: Give your guests with children plenty of notice by including your adults-only request on your wedding website or save-the-date communications. This allows them to make necessary childcare arrangements well in advance.
• Be Flexible: If you have guests with new babies or those who may struggle to find childcare, consider being flexible. You could offer the option of a creche or professional babysitting service at the venue to accommodate their needs.

Remember, the key to addressing your envelopes for an adults-only wedding is clarity and consistency. Be direct about who is invited, use specific language, and provide advance notice to your guests whenever possible.

What to include on your wedding website

A wedding website is a great way to give your guests a glimpse into your wedding aesthetic and share important details about your big day. Here are some key things to include when creating your wedding website:

The Basics

Start with the basics: who, what, where, and when. Be sure to include the names of the couple, the wedding date and time, and the venue location. It's also a good idea to include a virtual map or written directions to the venue, especially if it's in a remote or hard-to-find location.

Schedule of Events

Provide a rough schedule of the day's events, including any pre or post-wedding celebrations such as a welcome party, rehearsal dinner, or after-party. This will help your guests know where to be and when, and reduce the number of questions you'll have to answer over the phone.

Dress Code

Let your guests know the dress code for the wedding. Whether it's black-tie, cocktail attire, or casual, giving your guests a clear idea of what to wear will help them feel prepared and ensure they don't feel out of place on the day.

Travel and Accommodation

If you have guests travelling from out of town, include information on nearby airports, transportation options, and recommended accommodation. If you've coordinated a hotel block for guests, include a link to booking. You can also provide suggestions for local restaurants and things to do in the area.

RSVP and Dietary Requirements

Most wedding website platforms offer RSVP software, allowing guests to confirm their attendance easily. Be sure to include an RSVP deadline and any questions regarding plus ones or dietary requirements. This will save you a lot of hassle later on!

Gift Registry

Your wedding website is also a great place to include a link to your gift registry. Many people struggle to choose the perfect gift, so your guests will appreciate this addition.

Personal Touches

While not mandatory, adding some personal touches to your wedding website is a great way to make it more reflective of the happy couple. You can include a short background story of how you met and fell in love, along with some photos. You can also introduce your bridal party, parents, and MC, so your guests will have some familiar faces to look out for on the day.

Frequently asked questions