Wedding Invitation Wording: Including Children, A Guide

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, but the good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette are not that complicated. The primary tenet is much simpler and more straightforward than you may think. The most important rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day to come—while also communicating the vital details of the wedding.

If you're planning to lay down a 'no kids' rule, careful wording is key. You can communicate that you're having a child-free celebration by addressing your wedding stationery to the parents, and not naming the children. However, this runs the risk that guests will assume their kids are also invited.

How to address wedding invitations to families with children

When addressing wedding invitations to families with children, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to be clear about whether children are invited or not. If you are planning a child-free wedding, it is best to explicitly state this on the invitation to avoid any confusion. You can use phrases such as "adults-only reception" or "adults-only wedding".

Outer Envelope:

• Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham (for married couples with children)
• Mr. Aaron Triguiero, Mr. Gabriel Reyes (for unmarried couples with children)
• Ms. Audrey Abraham (for single parents with children)

Inner Envelope:

• Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, Mx. Kelly (for married couples with children)
• Mr. Triguiero, Mr. Reyes (for unmarried couples with children)
• Ms. Abraham (for single parents with children)

If you are inviting specific children or making exceptions for certain children, you can include their names on the inner envelope. For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, Mx. Kelly, and additional children's names

It is important to note that if you do not include the names of children on the invitation, it may be implied that they are not invited. To avoid any confusion, be as clear as possible about your guest list.

Additionally, when addressing the invitations, use the appropriate titles for each family member. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss". Boys do not need a title until they are 16, after which they can be addressed as "Mr.".

How to address wedding invitations to children over 18

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to children over 18, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to remember that children over 18 are legally adults, and as such, they should receive their own invitations. This means that if they are living away from their parents, they should be sent a separate invitation to their own address. If they are still living at home with their parents, you can follow the family format and include them on the inner envelope with their parents.

When addressing the invitations, you don't need to use titles for adult children, but you can if you'd like. Just be sure that you're using the correct identifiers and spelling out their names in full. For example, "Ms. Audrey Abraham" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Abraham" on the inner envelope.

It is also important to be clear about whether or not children are invited to the wedding. If you are planning an adults-only wedding, carefully wording your invitations or save-the-dates is key. Instead of addressing the invitation to "The Smith Family", address it to the parents by name, followed by the names of any adult children on the inner envelope. This makes it clear that only the named individuals are invited.

Example 1:

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Daniel Abraham

Jeffrey Abraham

Brittany Abraham

Example 2:

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Abraham

Mr. Daniel Abraham

Mr. Jeffrey Abraham

Miss Brittany Abraham

Example 3:

Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Abraham

Audrey Abraham

Daniel Abraham

Jeffrey Abraham

Brittany Abraham

Remember, you can always include a personal note with the invitations to explain that you are sorry not to include any children and give advance notice so that parents can make childcare arrangements.

How to politely say no children

It's your wedding, so your rules! However, it's essential to choose your words carefully when it comes to wedding invitations to avoid any confusion or upset guests. Here are some tips and examples to politely say "no children" at your wedding:

Be Clear and Consistent

It's important to be clear and consistent with your adults-only policy. Make sure to address the invitations only to the adult guests you are inviting and be specific about which children, if any, will be in attendance. For example, you could say, "We are unable to accommodate children beyond our page boys and flower girls." This way, your guests will know that only specific children are invited, and they should not assume their children are also welcome.

Give Advance Notice

It's considerate to give your guests plenty of notice that your wedding will be child-free. This allows parents time to make childcare arrangements. You could also offer to organise a creche or babysitter, although this is not necessary. By giving advance notice, you're more likely to avoid any last-minute surprises or disappointed guests.

Be Firm but Compassionate

If a guest asks for an exception or tries to switch invitees, it's important to be firm but compassionate in your response. You could say something like, "We're hosting an adult-driven event, so we kindly request that you make other arrangements for your children." Remember, it's your wedding, and you're allowed to set the guest list as you see fit.

Choose Your Wording Carefully

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 at the reception."
• "Please join us for an adults-only reception at 6:00 pm."
• "Due to venue restrictions, we cannot accommodate children."
• "We are only able to extend the invitation to the children of close family and/or our wedding party."
• "We are very sorry, but we are keeping our special day as an adult-only occasion."
• "Children are welcome to attend the ceremony, but the reception will be for adults only."
• "We regret that due to cost restrictions, we can only invite adults to our wedding."

Things to Avoid

It's important to avoid certain phrases that may come across as patronising or imply that children are unwelcome. Here are some things not to say:

• "We thought you would like the night off."
• "In order to ensure our guests have a good time, our wedding will be an adult-only affair."
• "To give you the opportunity to really let your hair down, we've decided not to invite children."

Remember, the key is to be clear, considerate, and compassionate in your wording. By giving advance notice and being consistent with your adults-only policy, you can politely let your guests know that children are not invited to your wedding.

How to say children are welcome to the ceremony but not the reception

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many ways to convey different messages about children's attendance. Here are some suggestions for how to say that children are welcome at the ceremony but not at the reception:

Wording on the Invitation

• Include a separate reception card or insert with your invitation that states: "Please join us for an adult reception at [time] to celebrate [name] and [name]."
• Another option for the reception card could be: "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the reception due to limited seating. We hope you are able to join us anyway, and we look forward to seeing your family at the ceremony!"
• If you have a wedding website, you can include a FAQ section and address it there: "Are children invited? We want our wedding to be a joyful celebration for everyone and we plan to party into the night! While your children are welcome to attend the ceremony, festivities at the reception are geared towards adults. You might prefer to arrange childcare, and if so, please let us know if you need help making those arrangements."

Addressing the Envelopes

When addressing the envelopes, only list the names of the invited adult guests on both the outer and inner envelopes. This will imply that children are not invited to the reception. However, be prepared that some guests might still assume their children are welcome, so it is helpful to ask your immediate family and wedding party to spread the word that the reception will be adults-only.

RSVP Cards

On the RSVP cards, you can include a line such as: "We have reserved [number] spots in your honour. Please let us know if you will be joining us." This will allow guests to specify how many people from their family will be attending, including any children, and you can clarify upon receiving the response if needed.

How to communicate a child-free wedding to parents

Communicating a child-free wedding to parents can be tricky, but there are ways to do it politely and considerately. Here are some tips and examples to help you get started:

Be Clear and Consistent:

It's important to be clear and consistent in your message. Let parents know that you are unable to accommodate children at your wedding. You can use phrases such as "We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate children at our wedding" or "Please be aware that this will be an adults-only wedding." This way, parents can make necessary childcare arrangements in advance.

Address Invitations to Parents Only:

When addressing the invitations, make sure to only include the names of the adult guests on both the outer and inner envelopes. By not naming the children, you can imply that they are not invited. However, some parents may still assume their children are welcome, so it's essential to be consistent and clear in your communication.

Provide Advance Notice:

Give parents plenty of notice about your adults-only policy. This will allow them to make alternative arrangements for their children's care. You can also add a line on the response card, such as "We have reserved ___ seats for you at the reception" to reinforce the message.

Be Mindful of Sensitive Situations:

Some parents may be sensitive about leaving their children behind, especially if they are travelling from out of town or have young infants. In such cases, it is essential to be understanding and respectful of their decision to decline the invitation. You can also offer to help with childcare suggestions or provide a list of trusted babysitters in the area.

Offer Alternatives:

If you are inviting children to part of the wedding, such as the ceremony or early reception, clearly communicate this on the invitation. You can say something like, "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from X pm onwards, the wedding will be adults-only." This way, parents can plan their attendance accordingly.

Be Diplomatic:

Avoid phrases that might come across as patronising or imply that parents can't have fun with their children around. Instead, focus on the fact that you want your guests to relax and enjoy themselves without having to worry about childcare during the event. You can say something like, "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children."

Consider Your Guest List:

If you are getting married later in life and most of your guests already have families, consider the challenges they may face with childcare. You can also make exceptions for close family members or members of the wedding party with children. Just be sure to communicate this clearly to other guests to avoid any confusion.

Remember, it's your special day, and you are well within your rights to decide who to invite. By using polite and considerate wording, you can effectively communicate your child-free wedding plans to parents without causing any arguments or hurt feelings.

Frequently asked questions