Adult-Only Wedding: Wording Your Invitation Tastefully

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on the guest list. One way to shorten the guest list is to make the wedding adults-only. Communicating this decision to your guests can be challenging, but there are several ways to do so tactfully and politely. Firstly, it is important to be clear and consistent from the very beginning. Spread the word early so that guests are not surprised when they receive their invitation. Ask your close family and bridal party to help spread the word. You can also include this information on your wedding website, in the FAQ section. When addressing your invitations, only include the names of those who are invited. If you are inviting parents, address the envelope to them by name, without adding and Family or children's names. If you want to be explicit about the adults-only nature of the event, you can include a note on the invitation itself, such as Adult-only reception or Please note this will be an adults-only celebration. Another option is to include a line on the RSVP card that indicates the number of guests invited, such as We have reserved ___ seats in your honour.

Addressing the invitations

Addressing Envelopes

The way you address the envelopes of your wedding invitations can be a subtle yet effective way to indicate that only adults are invited. Here's how:

• Address the envelope to the specific adults who are invited, excluding the names of their children. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" instead of "The Smith Family."
• Be consistent and only include the names of invited guests on the envelope. This helps to avoid any confusion and ensures that your message is clear from the outset.

Wording on the Invitation

While it's generally recommended to avoid explicitly stating "adults-only" on the invitation, you can include a subtle note or phrase to convey the same message. Here are some ideas:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "This is an adult-only occasion."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited space."
• "We respectfully request the company of adults only."

Response Cards (RSVP)

The response card provides an excellent opportunity to clarify your adult-only request. Here are some ways to word it:

• "We have reserved _____ seat(s) in your honor."
• "______ seats have been reserved in your honor."
• "The favor of a reply is requested by [date]. Name ____________________ Accepts _____ Regrets _____ Adults-Only Reception."
• "We’ve reserved ___ seats for you! (hand-write in the number of guests) Please reply by [date]. Name ____________________ Accepts _____ Regrets _____"

Information or Details Card

If you wish to provide more context or be creative with your wording, consider including a separate information or details card along with the invitation. Here are some ideas:

• "DATE NIGHT! Although we love to watch the children run and play, this is going to be an adults-only kind of day!"
• "ADULTS-ONLY PARTY Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited space at our venue. Thank you for understanding!"
• "SORRY, KIDS We love you, but our wedding is for adults-only. Tell your parents to call the sitter!"
• "Although we love your little ones, this is an adult-only affair."
• "Due to limited venue space, adults only please."
• "We wish we could include all children, but are unfortunately only able to invite immediate family."

Wording the RSVP cards

Clear Instructions and Deadlines

It is essential to provide clear instructions and a deadline for your guests to respond. A response date of about four weeks before the wedding is generally recommended, but consider adding a few extra weeks if you are having a destination wedding or if many of your guests are travelling from out of town. A clear deadline will help you stay organised and ensure timely responses.

Number of Guests and Names

To avoid any confusion or unexpected plus-ones, it is important to clearly indicate the number of guests invited from each party. You can do this by addressing the invitation specifically to those invited and including a line on the RSVP card that states the number of seats reserved for them. For example, "We have reserved _ seats in your honour." This way, guests know exactly how many people are invited and can provide the names of those attending.

Acceptance and Regret Options

The primary purpose of the RSVP card is to confirm attendance, so be sure to include a clear "will attend" or "acceptance" line. You can also add a creative twist to this by including phrases like "will be there with bells on" or "Can’t wait!" Similarly, the "unable to attend" or "regret" option can be replaced with phrases like "will be toasting from afar" or "will be there in spirit."

Meal Choices and Dietary Restrictions

If you are offering meal choices at your wedding, be sure to include this information on the RSVP card. Provide options for your guests to select their preferences, such as beef, chicken, or vegetarian, and leave space for them to mention any dietary restrictions or allergies. This will help you plan the catering accordingly and ensure that your guests' needs are accommodated.

Additional Information and Requests

You can also use the RSVP cards to gather additional information or make special requests. For example, you can ask for song requests, advice for the newlyweds, or their drink of choice to help you stock the bar. Including a line for any special accommodation requests or allowing guests to share their thoughts will make your RSVP cards unique and engaging.

Matching Stationery and Envelopes

Finally, don't forget the presentation! Invest in matching stationery and envelopes for your RSVP cards. Pre-address and stamp the envelopes for your guests' convenience, and ensure they align with the formality and style of your wedding. This attention to detail will create a cohesive and elegant impression.

Adding an extra information card

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky topic to navigate, but there are ways to communicate your wishes clearly and tactfully. Here are some ideas for adding an extra information card to your wedding invitations to indicate that the event is adults-only:

Paragraph 1

"DATE NIGHT! We know many of you with small children are considering joining us for our wedding weekend. However, please keep in mind that our wedding reception is limited to adults only. We hope you understand our decision and take this opportunity to let your hair down and celebrate!"

Paragraph 2

"ADULTS-ONLY PARTY: Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to limited space at our venue. We hope you're still able to join us, and we kindly request that you make alternative arrangements for your children. If you need assistance finding childcare in [city/town], please get in touch, and we can recommend some sitters in the area."

Paragraph 3

"SORRY, KIDS! We love you, and we know your parents do too, but our wedding is for adults only. We want our guests, including parents, to have a night of relaxation. Please call the sitter and enjoy a night off!"

Paragraph 4

"CHILDREN: We love your little ones, but this is an adult-only affair. We respectfully request no children under [age] at the reception. We appreciate your understanding and hope that giving you advance notice will make it easier to plan accordingly."

Paragraph 5

"Although we wish we could include all children, we are only able to accommodate children in the wedding party at our reception. We hope you understand, and we kindly request that you make alternative arrangements for your children. Please join us for an adults-only celebration!"

Remember, it's essential to be clear and consistent in your messaging to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Spreading the word in advance

Deciding whether to invite children to your wedding is one of the most difficult guest list questions. If you've decided on an adults-only event, it's important to spread the word in advance to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips to help you communicate this to your guests effectively:

Be Clear from the Start

It's essential to be clear about your adults-only event plans from the very beginning. Ask your parents, close family members, and your bridal party to help spread the word. They can answer any questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is on the same page. Word-of-mouth communication can be an effective way to get the message across subtly and tactfully.

Share the Information on Your Wedding Website

If you have a wedding website, this is an excellent platform to share the adults-only details. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state your preference for an adult-only event and express your excitement for a child-free celebration. You can also provide information about babysitting options or local babysitting agencies for guests' convenience. This way, guests with children can make the necessary arrangements in advance.

Use Proper Envelope Etiquette

When addressing your wedding invitation envelopes, only include the names of the invited guests. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez" instead of "The Chavez Family." This subtle cue will indicate that the event is adults-only. Be consistent with this approach to avoid any confusion.

Provide Details on the Invitation or Response Card

While it's generally not recommended to explicitly state "adults-only" on the invitation itself, you can include a subtle note or hint about the event being child-free. For instance, you could mention an "intimate ceremony" or a "cocktail reception" at an adult-centric venue. You can also add a line on the response card, such as "We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honour," indicating the number of invited guests.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations

Even with advance notice, you may still receive RSVPs that include uninvited children. In such cases, it's essential to have a plan for handling these situations tactfully but firmly. Contact the guests as soon as possible, preferably by phone, to clarify that the invitation was intended for the parents only. Express your desire for them to attend without children and, if needed, provide a reason such as venue restrictions or budget constraints. Remember to be compassionate yet assertive in your communication.

Handling difficult conversations

Deciding on the guest list for a wedding can be challenging. One of the most difficult questions is whether to invite children to the wedding. If you decide to have an adult-only wedding, you may need to have some difficult conversations with your loved ones. Here are some tips to help you navigate these tricky waters:

Be Clear and Consistent:

It is important to be clear and consistent from the very beginning. Even before sending out invitations, spread the word about your plans for an adult-only event so that fewer guests will be surprised when they receive their invitation. Ask your parents, close family, and bridal party to help spread the word.

Don't Make Exceptions:

It is generally recommended to take an "all or nothing" approach when it comes to deciding on an adult-only wedding. Making exceptions for certain families or children can hurt feelings and offend parents whose children were not included. However, you may consider allowing a nursing mother to bring her infant or including flower girls and ring bearers in the ceremony.

Be Smart with Your Wedding Invitations:

When addressing your save-the-dates and wedding invitation envelopes, only include the names of those who are invited. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," instead of "The Chavez Family." If you are concerned that this may not be clear enough, you can also add a line to your RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved for each family.

Share it on Your Website:

If you have a wedding website, this is another great way to spread the word about your adult-only event. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state your preference for an adult-only event, and consider including information about a local babysitting agency for those who may still travel with their children.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations:

Even if you take all the above steps, you may still receive RSVPs that include the names of uninvited children. It is important to have a plan for handling these situations. Remember to be tactful but firm. Make a phone call to politely let your guests know that the invitation was only meant for the parents, and if you wish, you can provide a reason for your decision, such as venue constraints or budget limitations.

Be prepared for guests who may ask for exceptions or to swap invitees. It is important to stand firm and compassionate in your response. For example, you can say, "Unfortunately, in this instance, you would not be able to bring [child's name] as we are requesting an adult-only occasion. We would love to have you there, but we are not going to have children attend."

Sample Wording for Invitations and Website:

• "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock."
• "Please note this will be an adults-only celebration."
• "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow."
• "We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception."
• "Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them due to budget/space constraints."
• "To allow all wedding guests, including parents, a night of relaxation, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception."
• "While we love all the children in our lives, we have decided to keep our wedding and reception an adults-only event."

Frequently asked questions