Etiquette Guide To Stuffing Wedding Invites, À La Emily Post

Wedding invitations are a special kind of mail. They require careful attention to the addressing of both the inner and outer envelopes, and there is a thoughtful order to how enclosures are placed inside. When two envelopes are used, the enclosures are placed on top of the invitation, with the printed sides facing up, and arranged in size order with the smallest on top. The invitation is then inserted so that when the envelope flap is opened, the printed side is visible. When there is no inner envelope, children's names are written on the outer envelope below their parents' names. The inner envelope is then placed unsealed inside the outer envelope, so that when the outer envelope flap is lifted, the names of the guests are visible.

Allow plenty of time to address, assemble, and mail all invitations

When addressing, assembling, and mailing wedding invitations, it is important to allow plenty of time to do so. Here are some tips to ensure a smooth and timely process:

Organise the Guest List

Begin by organising your master guest list in a useful format, such as on file cards, in a computer database, or on a spreadsheet. This will make it easier to keep track of guest information and responses. When using response cards, lightly mark the back of each card with an identifying number and keep track of it on your master guest list. This will help identify which guest the response card belongs to in case they neglect to write their name.

Order Extra Envelopes

It is advisable to order extra envelopes, both inner and outer, in case of errors. This will allow you to correct any mistakes and ensure you have enough envelopes for all your invitations.

Consider the Reply Address

Think about the reply address you want to use. Guest responses and gifts will likely be sent to the return address on the outer envelope. If you prefer guests to reply to a different address, you can use this address for the reply card envelope or list it below the RSVP line on the invitation.

Prepare the Assembly Area

Ensure that your addressing and/or assembly area is clean and tidy. Be careful with beverages, and always wash your hands before starting the assembly process to avoid any smudges or stains on the invitations.

Double-Check Guest Information

Before addressing the envelopes, double-check the spelling of your guests' names, addresses, and titles. This attention to detail will show your guests that you have put thought and care into the invitations.

Allow Time for Calligraphy

If you plan to have your envelopes inscribed by a professional calligrapher, allow ample time for this process. Provide the calligrapher with a neatly printed guest list, including full addresses and social and professional titles. Gathering this information can take time, so don't leave it until the last minute.

Weigh the Invitations

Before purchasing stamps, take a fully assembled invitation, including any enclosures or inserts, to the post office to have it weighed. The weight of the invitation, along with any additional inserts, may require extra postage. It is recommended to have both local and out-of-town invitations weighed, as maps and other inserts sent to out-of-town guests may require a postage adjustment.

Request Hand-Cancelling

When sending your invitations through the post office, consider requesting hand-cancelling. This process involves marking each stamp by hand, preventing damage that automatic sorting machines can cause and creating a neater appearance. Some post offices may offer wedding-themed stamps that add a special touch to your invitations.

By following these suggestions, you will allow yourself plenty of time to address, assemble, and mail your wedding invitations without feeling rushed.

Order extra envelopes in case of errors

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to order extra envelopes—both inner and outer—in case of errors. This is because printing is costly, and details are easy to get wrong. It is also important to allow plenty of time to address, assemble, and mail all invitations.

Ordering extra envelopes ensures that you have enough to accommodate any mistakes that may occur during the addressing process. It is inevitable that mistakes will be made, whether it's a misspelled name, a smudged ink, or a wrong address. Having extra envelopes gives you the flexibility to make corrections without having to start from scratch.

Additionally, consider the reply address you wish to use. Guest responses and gifts are typically sent to the return address on the outer envelope. If you prefer guests to reply to a different address, include this on the reply card envelope or list it below the RSVP line on the invitation.

Another tip to consider when addressing envelopes is to double-check the spelling of your guests' names. It is important to use correct titles and spellings, and when in doubt, ask before addressing. This attention to detail will be appreciated by your guests and will ensure that your invitations reach their intended recipients.

Ordering extra envelopes in case of errors is a practical step that will save you time and hassle as you navigate the wedding invitation process. It ensures that you have the necessary supplies to address and reassemble invitations accurately and efficiently.

Place enclosures on top of the invitation, with the smallest on top

When it comes to wedding invitations, the Emily Post Institute is a treasure trove of advice, offering guidance on everything from addressing envelopes to assembling and mailing invitations. Here are some detailed instructions on placing enclosures, based on their recommendations:

When it comes to placing enclosures within your wedding invitation suite, the traditional approach is to stack them in a specific order. The enclosures, which can include reply cards, maps, directions, accommodation cards, transportation details, and more, should be placed on top of the invitation itself. The general rule is to arrange these enclosures by size, with the largest piece at the bottom and the smallest one on top. This ensures that your guests will see each element clearly as they open their invitation.

For a more detailed explanation, let's walk through the steps. Start by taking your invitation card, which is the largest piece, and place it inside the envelope first. Then, you'll want to gather all your enclosures. As mentioned, these can include reply cards, maps, or any other additional information for your guests. Organise these enclosures in descending order, from largest to smallest. Now, place the stack of enclosures on top of the invitation, making sure that the printed side of each card faces up. This way, when your guests open the envelope, they will first see the enclosure on top, and as they go through the stack, they'll end up with the invitation card at the bottom.

It's important to note that if you have a folded invitation, the enclosures should be placed within the fold. Additionally, if you are using tissues, which were traditionally used to protect the ink but have now become more of a stylistic choice, they should go on top of the invitation, below any enclosures.

Remember, while it's great to follow traditional etiquette, it's your wedding, so feel free to adapt these guidelines to suit your preferences and the specific elements of your invitation suite.

Face the invitation and enclosures right-side-up when pulled out with the right hand

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to consider the traditional and proper way of preparing them for mailing. Following the guidelines set by Emily Post, a well-known authority on etiquette, ensures that your invitations are not only correct but also elegant and respectful. One of the key instructions is to ensure that the invitation and its enclosures are faced right-side-up when pulled out with the right hand. Here's a detailed guide to help you achieve this:

Start by taking all the components of your invitation suite, including the invitation card, response card, reception card, and any other inserts. Place them on a table in front of you. Take the largest piece, usually the invitation card, and hold it in your left hand, facing you, with the front side up. This means that when you look at the invitation, you should be able to read the text correctly.

Now, use your right hand to take the remaining enclosures one by one and place them on top of the invitation, also with the front side up. Ensure that each enclosure is facing the right way and is aligned with the invitation. Work from largest to smallest, with the smallest enclosure being on top. If you have multiple sheets of tissue paper, place them in the same way, with the largest at the bottom and the smallest on top, facing right-side-up.

The idea is that when your guests receive the invitation and pull it out of the envelope with their right hand, they will see everything correctly oriented. They won't need to rotate any of the pieces to read the information, ensuring a seamless and elegant experience. This traditional way of stuffing wedding invitations also ensures that your guests can easily replace the enclosures in the envelope if needed, without any confusion or delay.

By following these instructions, you are adhering to the time-honored etiquette rules set by Emily Post. Your wedding invitations will exude refinement and respect for tradition, making a great first impression on your guests. This attention to detail sets the tone for your wedding and showcases your thoughtfulness and grace as a host.

Don't seal the inner envelope

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your invitations are assembled and addressed correctly. One common question is whether to seal the inner envelope, and the answer is no. Traditionally, the inner envelope is left unsealed before being placed in the outer envelope, with the guest's name facing out.

• Clarifying who is invited: Inner envelopes allow you to specify who is and is not invited to the wedding. The outer envelope typically includes the full mailing address and the names of the "heads of household," while the inner envelope lists each guest by name. This is especially useful if you are having a wedding where only older children are allowed or if no children are permitted.
• Getting personal with guests: Addressing the inner envelopes gives you an opportunity to connect with your guests in a more intimate way. For example, you can use formal addressing on the outside and something more casual on the inside, such as "Aunt Sadie and Uncle Mikey."
• Formality: Double envelopes (inner and outer) are less common nowadays and, therefore, communicate a sense of formality to your guests. If you're having an ultra-formal black-tie or white-tie affair, using inner and outer envelopes is a good option.
• Protection of the invitation suite: The inner envelope helps to protect your invitation suite from potential damage during mailing. With the unpredictability of mail service, mail can sometimes arrive ripped, torn, or scuffed. The inner envelope keeps the contents neat and organised.
• Ease of opening: Inner envelopes are not typically sealed, so your guests won't have to worry about opening them like a standard envelope. This reduces the risk of guests accidentally tearing or damaging the beautiful invitation suite inside.

By following these guidelines and leaving the inner envelope unsealed, you'll ensure that your wedding invitations are assembled correctly and that your guests have a clear understanding of who is invited.

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