Planning A Wedding: Tips For Unengaged Couples

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's no surprise that many couples want to get a head start on the process before getting engaged. While some may view this as unusual, it's not uncommon, and it can be a smart decision to avoid missing out on must-have vendors. However, it's important to consider the potential risks to your heart if the engagement doesn't happen as expected. If you're thinking about wedding planning before getting engaged, it might be helpful to discuss your future with your partner and manage expectations with family and friends who may have varying opinions.

Discuss with your partner

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and it's important to remember that it's okay to start planning before getting engaged. In fact, according to The Knot's Engagement & Jewelry Study, 70% of couples take at least one planning action before getting engaged, and 90% of couples talk about the wedding before the proposal.

Before diving into the details of wedding planning, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your future together. Discuss your expectations, hopes, and dreams for the wedding and ensure that you're on the same page. Talk about the possibility of engagement and your desired timeline. Be mindful that wedding planning can be a lengthy process, and starting early can give you a head start in securing your desired vendors and venues.

Once you've established that you're both committed to the idea of getting married, you can begin discussing the type of wedding you envision. Do you prefer an intimate gathering or a grand celebration? Would you like a traditional or modern wedding? Do you have any specific themes or styles in mind? Discuss your budget and how you plan to allocate funds across different aspects of the wedding, such as the venue, catering, entertainment, and decorations. Remember that costs can add up quickly, so it's essential to prioritize your spending based on what's most important to both of you.

As you delve into the planning process, keep each other informed and involved. Seek your partner's input and opinions, even if they're only involved in certain aspects of the planning. Working together towards your common goal of a dream wedding will strengthen your bond and help you grow as a couple. Remember that this process is about both of you, and finding a balance between your individual preferences and joint decisions is key.

Finally, don't forget to prioritize your relationship and well-being during this time. Wedding planning can be demanding, so make sure to set aside time for self-care and activities that bring you joy. Attend premarital counselling sessions to strengthen your connection and set a solid foundation for your married life together. By discussing these aspects with your partner, you can ensure that you're both aligned and ready to tackle the wedding planning process together.

Research venues

When it comes to researching venues for a wedding, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to consider the style and size of the wedding you envision. Do you prefer a traditional venue, or would you like to explore non-traditional options such as national parks, public lands, vacation rentals, or a friend's backyard? Traditional venues offer convenience and efficiency, but non-traditional locations can provide a unique and inspiring setting for your special day.

If you opt for a traditional venue, the next step is to research and compare different options. Websites and forums like The Knot and WeddingWire offer valuable resources, featuring various venue options, from contemporary galleries and vineyards to ballrooms and outdoor spaces. These sites often provide lists of questions to ask when visiting potential venues, ensuring you consider all the essential aspects. It is also beneficial to seek recommendations from recently married couples or wedding planners, who can offer insights and suggestions based on their recent experiences.

When researching venues, keep in mind that availability can be a challenge, and popular venues may require booking well in advance. Therefore, having a few potential dates in mind is advisable. It is also essential to consider the size of your guest list, as the venue should comfortably accommodate all your guests. Additionally, be mindful of your budget, as venue prices can vary significantly, and you want to ensure you find a place that aligns with your financial plans.

While researching, create a list of venues that interest you and take note of their availability, capacity, and pricing. This information will be crucial when making your final decision. It is also worth considering any additional services or restrictions the venue may have, such as catering options, decoration guidelines, or noise restrictions. These factors can significantly impact your wedding plans, so it is beneficial to gather as much information as possible during your research phase.

Lastly, remember that your wedding venue should reflect your style and preferences. Take the time to visit and experience the venues you are considering to ensure they align with your vision. While researching and planning are essential, staying flexible and open-minded is also valuable, as your initial ideas may evolve as you explore the various options available.

Consider a wedding planner

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, especially if you're doing it without the help of a professional. A wedding planner can be your right-hand person throughout the process, guiding you in all decisions and handling the logistics. They can help you select a venue, track your budget, and manage your guest list. If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider hiring a wedding planner to take some of the burdens off your shoulders.

A wedding planner will have the experience and expertise to help you navigate the complex world of wedding planning. They can provide valuable advice and recommendations, such as choosing a venue that fits your vision and budget. Wedding planners can also assist in selecting vendors, such as caterers, florists, and musicians, ensuring that you work with reputable and reliable professionals.

One of the biggest advantages of hiring a wedding planner is their ability to save you time and stress. They can create a comprehensive schedule for your wedding day, ensuring that everything runs smoothly. A wedding planner will also handle the multitude of tasks and details that go into creating your dream wedding, allowing you to focus on your relationship and well-being during this busy season.

Additionally, a wedding planner can be your advocate and support system during the planning process. They can attend tastings and pay attention to the details, ensuring that your vision is executed flawlessly. With their industry knowledge, they can also help you avoid common pitfalls and mistakes, saving you time, money, and potential heartache.

While hiring a wedding planner can be an additional expense, their expertise and guidance can ultimately save you money by negotiating better deals and helping you stay within your budget. They can also provide peace of mind and ensure that your special day is everything you've ever dreamed of.

Prioritise your mental health

Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful, and it's easy to let stress take over and neglect your mental well-being. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel overwhelmed, and that you shouldn't have to hide your feelings. From the initial excitement of agreeing to marry each other, stress triggers can come rushing in pretty fast.

• Set boundaries and learn to say "no": It's important to set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Don't be afraid to decline additional tasks or requests if they are becoming too much.
• Take breaks and make time for yourself: Self-care is important! Make sure to schedule downtime to relax and recharge. This can include activities such as meditation, yoga, or gentle exercises like sunset walks or stretching.
• Write things down: Using a tool like Trello can help you visualise what needs to be done, set deadlines, and collaborate with your partner. This can reduce stress and help you feel more organised.
• Ask for help: Don't try to do everything alone. Delegate tasks to your wedding party, friends, or family, or consider hiring a wedding planner or stylist to assist with the details.
• Focus on your well-being: Prioritise healthy habits such as proper nutrition, hydration, and adequate sleep. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption, as it can impact your mental clarity and overall well-being.
• Practise mindfulness and breathing techniques: Techniques like box breathing can help you manage anxiety and stay grounded when you're feeling overwhelmed. Taking a few minutes each morning for mindfulness can help reduce on-the-day anxiety.
• Communicate with your partner: Share your feelings and concerns with your partner. Talk to each other about the stress of planning a wedding, and work together to find solutions or compromises.
• Seek professional help if needed: If you're feeling overwhelmed by wedding stress, consider talking to a therapist or licensed professional. They can offer support and help you manage your mental health during this challenging time.

Create a guest list

Creating a guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Set a Budget

The number of guests you can invite will depend on your budget. Catering costs are usually calculated on a per-head basis, so the more guests you invite, the higher your costs will be. Set a budget for your wedding and decide how many people you can afford to invite. This will help you create a realistic guest list.

Decide on the Type of Wedding You Want

Do you want an intimate wedding with your closest friends and family, or a large celebration with all your acquaintances? If you want quality one-on-one time with each guest, a smaller guest list is preferable. However, if you prefer a lively party atmosphere, you may want to invite a broader range of guests.

Categorize Your Guests

Start by making a list of your immediate family members, followed by extended family, such as cousins and distant relatives. Draw a line at a specific degree of relation and be consistent. For friends, consider those you have seen in the last year and those you can see yourself staying close with in the future. You may also want to include a "B-list" of guests who you can invite if spaces become available.

Consider Plus-Ones

Decide early on whether you will allow plus-ones for your wedding party, engaged couples, or those in established relationships. You are not obligated to give everyone a plus-one, especially if you have never met their partner. However, if logistics are the only reason you haven't met, such as long distance, an exception can be made.

Be Mindful of Parents' Requests

If your parents are contributing financially, they will likely want to have a say in the guest list. Work with them to determine who will be invited, but set boundaries and draw the line if their requests become unreasonable. Remember, the final decision about the guest list should lay solely with you and your partner.

Frequently asked questions