Planning Your Own Wedding: A Guide To Success

Planning your own wedding can be a daunting task, but with the right tools and mindset, it can be a fun and rewarding process. The key to planning a successful wedding is organisation. Creating a wedding binder or using a wedding planning app can help you stay on top of everything, from budgets to guest lists and vendor contracts. Defining your wedding vision and setting a budget are crucial first steps, followed by choosing a date and venue. From there, you can start thinking about the finer details, such as attire, decorations, food, and entertainment. It's also important to remember to enjoy the process and not get too stressed – after all, it's your big day!

Define your wedding vision

So, you're engaged—congratulations! Now it's time to start planning your wedding. The first step is often the trickiest: defining your wedding vision. This is a crucial step in the wedding planning process, so it's important to get it right. Here are some tips to help you define your wedding vision and plan your dream day.

Keep Priorities in Mind

The whole point of the day is to celebrate the love between you and your partner, so make sure your wedding vision reflects who you are as a couple. Think about your relationship, values, and personalities. Are you a relaxed, easygoing couple who loves spending time at the beach? Then a coastal-inspired summer wedding might be perfect. Or maybe you're foodies who love entertaining; a long feasting lunch outdoors could be your ideal day. Consider incorporating a special memory or hobby you share, such as including sprigs of olive leaf in the décor if you spent six months travelling in Italy.

Choose a Date and Venue

Even if you don't have a specific date in mind, you probably have an idea of the season you'd like to get married in. This will influence the look and feel of your wedding. For example, if you're planning a summer wedding, a dark and moody colour palette with heavy linens might not be the best fit. Instead, opt for a fresh and light theme with bright colours and natural textures.

Your venue is another crucial element that will impact the overall guest experience and what you can pull off in terms of decor and atmosphere. Make sure your wedding vision complements your venue, and vice versa. If you've chosen an industrial warehouse space, a picnic-themed reception might not be the best fit. Work with your venue and utilise its unique features to bring your vision to life.

Create a Vision Board

Gather all your wedding inspiration in one place, whether it's on Pinterest, in a scrapbook, or on your phone. Create a vision board that includes pictures, quotes, words, or anything that inspires you for your big day. This will help you brainstorm ideas with your partner and make it easier to agree on colour schemes, decorations, and other details.

Streamline Your Vision

Take a step back and look at your vision board as a whole. Are there consistent colour palettes, textures, or patterns that stand out? Is there an overall "vibe" that shines through? These common threads will help you define your wedding vision and ensure that all the elements of your wedding work together harmoniously.

Get a Second Opinion

If you're struggling to pull your vision together, ask someone you trust for a second opinion, or step away from it for a few days and come back with fresh eyes. Remember, your wedding vision is meant to be a reflection of you and your partner, so trust your instincts and don't worry about following the latest trends. Focus on creating a day that feels authentic and true to who you are as a couple.

Set your budget

Setting a budget is one of the most important parts of planning a wedding. It can be a challenging task, but there are several steps you can take to make it easier.

First, figure out who is contributing to the wedding financially. This could be you and your partner, family members, or a combination of both. It's important to have open and respectful conversations about money and be prepared for others to say they are unable to help. Once you have an idea of how much financial assistance you'll receive, you can focus on your own contribution. Be realistic about how much you can afford to spend, taking into account your monthly income, savings, and other expenses.

Next, estimate your guest count. The cost of a wedding is largely dependent on the number of guests, as it determines the size of the venue and the amount of food and alcohol required. Being strategic about your guest list is an effective way to cut down on costs.

Now, it's time to choose your non-negotiables. You and your partner will likely have different opinions on what is worth splurging on. Decide on your top priorities and budget for those items immediately, allocating a larger percentage of your budget to them. This will also help you understand how much you have left for other items that are less important to you.

It's crucial to educate yourself about hidden costs. There may be additional fees for setup and breakdown, vendor tips, taxes, service charges, and more. Do your research on the type of wedding you want and be honest about whether it fits within your budget.

Finally, create a spreadsheet to keep track of your budget. Tools like Google Sheets make it easy to share your budget with those contributing financially and help ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Remember, setting a budget for your wedding doesn't have to be stressful. Be organised, do your research, and be realistic about what you can afford.

Choose a date

Choosing a date for your wedding is the first big planning decision you'll make, and there's more to consider than you might initially think. Here are some tips to help you select a date for your big day:

Sentimental Value

• Opt for a date with sentimental value, such as your grandparents' or parents' wedding date, the date you first met, when you started dating, or the date you got engaged.
• Alternatively, you could choose a date that would mark a milestone in your relationship, like your 5th, 10th, or 15th year together.
• If you're into numerology, select a date with a number sequence that's easy to remember, like 5/5 or 11/12.

Practical Considerations

• Consider the availability of your family and friends. Think about whether they have holidays booked, pregnancies, or health limitations that might affect their ability to attend on certain dates.
• If you have a particular flower you'd like to feature, choose a date when that bloom is in season.
• Be mindful of your own work commitments and ensure you'll have enough leave and savings for your wedding.

Venue and Vendor Availability

• If you've found your dream venue or vendor, be flexible with your date to guarantee a booking.
• Weekdays, Fridays, Sundays, and off-peak seasons often have lower rates, so you might want to consider these options if you're working with a smaller budget.

Holidays

• Avoid family-oriented holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, as guests often spend these times with their families or on vacations.
• On the other hand, holidays like New Year's Eve and the 4th of July are popular choices for weddings, as they already have a celebratory tone.

Astrology

For some cosmic guidance, consider consulting an astrologer or using numerology to choose an auspicious date for your wedding.

Other Weddings

If your wedding has a similar guest list to another wedding in the same year, ensure the two events are spaced out by at least three to four weeks to avoid any clashes or feelings of repetitiveness.

Destination Weddings

For destination weddings, pay attention to local weather patterns and avoid peak travel times, such as spring break, as travel and accommodation costs will be higher.

Remember, it's your special day, so choose a date that feels right for you and your partner!

Create a timeline

Creating a timeline for your wedding day is crucial to ensuring that your event runs smoothly and according to your vision. Here are some tips to help you create a comprehensive and effective timeline for your big day:

Identify Key Elements and Details:

Start by identifying the key elements and details that need to be included in your timeline. This includes information such as the addresses of the ceremony and reception venues, the order of the wedding processional, transportation arrangements, and any specific cultural or religious traditions you plan to incorporate.

Determine the Schedule of Events:

Break down your wedding day into a detailed schedule of events, starting from the morning preparations to the grand exit and everything in between. Consider the timing and duration of each activity, such as hair and makeup, photography sessions, the ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, toasts, first dance, cake cutting, and any other special activities or traditions.

Create a Minute-by-Minute Breakdown:

For key moments of your wedding day, consider creating a minute-by-minute breakdown. This level of detail will help ensure that everything stays on track and that all vendors and participants are on the same page. Include arrival and departure times for vendors, the wedding party, and other key individuals. Allow for some buffer time between activities to accommodate any potential delays.

Finalise and Communicate Your Timeline:

Finalise your wedding timeline about a month before the wedding date. Share the details with all vendors, your wedding party, and other key participants. Confirm the timing again about a week before the wedding to ensure everyone is aligned. It's also a good idea to have extra copies of your timeline available on the day for reference.

Be Flexible and Prepare for Adjustments:

Even with a detailed timeline, it's important to remain flexible and prepared for any adjustments or unexpected delays. Allow for some cushion in your timeline to accommodate last-minute changes. Communicate any changes promptly to all relevant parties to ensure a smooth flow throughout the day.

Make a guest list

Making a guest list is one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning, especially when conflicting opinions come into play. Here are some tips to help you streamline the process:

Start with a Realistic Budget

Your headcount will heavily impact your wedding budget. From the number of meals to the number of place settings and centerpieces, your costs will grow as your guest list does. Therefore, it's important to first decide how much you're willing to spend on your wedding day. This will help you determine how many invites to send out.

Prioritize Close Loved Ones

It's helpful to start by figuring out who your VIPs are before expanding your guest list. Think about who absolutely must be there (parents, siblings, close friends, grandparents, etc.) and go from there. If you have a large guest list, remember that you won't be able to interact with everyone, and you may prefer to celebrate with a tight-knit group.

Be Mindful of Package Deals

You'll need to invite the officiant's spouse, the parents of children in your wedding party, and the spouse or live-in partner of each invited guest.

Set a Policy for Plus-Ones

Decide early on how you'll handle plus-ones. You might allow them for your wedding party, engaged couples, or those who live together with their significant other. Or you might not allow any plus-ones at all.

Consider the Children

It's totally acceptable to leave kids off your guest list, especially if you're planning a formal or local dinner. When it comes to inviting some kids and not others, choose a clear rule and stick to it. You could set an age threshold or restrict it to immediate family.

Don't Rush the Process

Creating the perfect guest list takes time, and it's important to take your time as the guest list impacts so many other wedding elements.

Utilise a Guest List Manager

To keep track of your guest list, you can use a simple list or spreadsheet, or try a wedding planning app or website. Having a central place to track guests' names, addresses, and phone numbers will make the process of creating your seating chart much simpler.

Be Prepared to Make Cuts

You'll be surprised by how many people make your first draft. Remember, every guest adds an extra expense, so you may need to cut some people from your list. It's okay to not invite distant relatives or friends you've grown apart from. If you haven't spoken to some relatives in years, don't feel obligated to invite them.

Consider Travel Requirements

Keep your guests' potential travel needs in mind. From visa rules to convenient flights, accessibility is a major concern for guests when deciding whether or not they will be able to attend.

Manage Expectations

People will have opinions that they feel compelled to share, from who should get a plus-one to which coworkers or extended family members should attend. Remember that this is your special day to plan as you see fit. Decide on your non-negotiables and stick to them.

Frequently asked questions