Best Man's Guide To Speech Success In The Uk

Being asked to be a best man is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of pressure and responsibility. One of your main duties as a best man is to give a speech, and this can be a daunting task. In this guide, we will cover everything you need to know about how to start a best man's speech, from breaking the ice with a light-hearted joke to introducing yourself and your relationship with the groom. We will also offer tips on how to structure your speech, choose the right anecdotes, and deliver it with confidence.

Keep it short and sweet

When it comes to delivering a best man's speech, it's important to remember that brevity is a virtue. Here are some tips to keep your speech short and sweet while still making it memorable:

Introduce yourself and your relationship to the groom: Start by stating your name and how you know the groom. This is a simple and effective way to begin your speech, and it helps to give context to your words. You might say something like, "For those of you who don't know me, I'm John, the brother of the groom," or "I'm Mark, the groom's best friend since university." This introduction sets the tone and provides a brief insight into your bond with the groom.

Keep it concise: Aim for a speech that lasts around 5-7 minutes. This may seem very short, but it's important to remember that people's attention spans can be limited, and you want to leave your audience wanting more rather than rambling on. Focus on a few key points or stories that you want to share, and avoid rambling or going off on tangents.

Share a brief, humorous story: A little humour can go a long way in a best man's speech. Instead of telling a long, detailed story, opt for a concise, lighthearted anecdote that showcases the groom's personality and your relationship with him. It could be about a funny incident that happened during your friendship or a lighthearted memory from your shared past. Just be sure to keep the humour appropriate and avoid any embarrassing stories that might cause discomfort.

Compliment the bride and groom: Take a moment to say something nice about the happy couple. You can wish them a happy future together, share a brief thought on marriage, or offer a simple but sincere compliment. For example, you could say, "I've known Tom for years, and I can honestly say he's never been happier than he is today with Lucy by his side," or "I'd like to raise a toast to the wonderful couple—may your love continue to grow and inspire us all."

Thank the guests: A short expression of gratitude to the guests for attending and sharing this special day is always appreciated. You can also thank those who have travelled long distances or anyone who has played a significant role in the wedding preparations. This is a nice way to acknowledge the support of the couple's friends and family.

In conclusion, keeping your best man's speech short and sweet ensures that your words are impactful and memorable. Focus on brevity, humour, and sincerity, and you'll deliver a speech that is engaging, entertaining, and well-received by the wedding guests.

Introduce yourself

Introducing Yourself

The first thing to do when starting your best man speech is to introduce yourself. Not everyone in the room will know who you are, so it's a good idea to start with a quick introduction, including a mention of how you know the groom. Are you best friends? Did you meet at school or university? Are you brothers?

• "Good evening, everyone. I'm the best man, and I think I got this role by default as Jack doesn't really have any other friends. I didn't really want to do it, but I also knew this would be the only chance I'd get to have a meal and some drinks paid for by Jack. There's no way I was going to turn that down."
• "Hi, I'm Tom, and it's time for me to deliver this short best man speech I scribbled down an hour before the ceremony started."
• "Hi, I'm [name], and I'd like to start by saying what an emotional day today has been. Even the cake is in tiers!"
• "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris, and I am officially Paul's second best man... second best, ladies and gentlemen... nobody likes to be second best, do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most... anyway, where were we?"
• "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, before I begin, I'd just like to introduce myself: my name is Chris, and it is my very great honour and privilege to be the first of Mark's two best men... we had to split it... 46 years is quite a long time to cover all in one go! Over the course of the next few minutes, I'll be taking you through Mark's sporting heroics, dealing with incredible loss, and being caned by people dressed as nuns... which, in fact, had nothing to do with the stag do."
• "Hello everyone, I'm [name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me—I apologise. For those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

Keep it light and friendly, and don't be afraid to make a joke at your own expense. It will help to warm up the guests and calm your nerves!

Inject humour

Injecting humour into your best man speech is a great way to engage the audience and keep them entertained. Here are some tips and tricks to help you inject humour into your best man speech:

Use Self-Deprecating Humour

Making yourself the target of jokes can be a great way to establish goodwill with your audience and show humility. For example, you can poke fun at your nervousness about giving the speech or how you're honoured to be the best man, but now you remember you have to give a speech. Just remember to keep it light and relatable, and don't overdo it—two or three self-deprecating jokes maximum.

Poke Fun at the Groom

As the best man, you have a "green card" to make jokes at the groom's expense. Share some funny and heart-warming stories about the groom, but be mindful of the audience and avoid anything too embarrassing or inappropriate. Focus on positive aspects, like his personal growth or how he's always been there for you. You can also include some gentle ribbing about his fashion sense, cooking abilities, or dating history.

Include the Bride

While the speech is primarily about the groom, don't forget to include the bride in your humour as well. Talk about how she's upgraded his life skills, or how she's the only one who can tolerate his snoring. You can also share a few words about their relationship and how they complement each other.

Use Humour to Make a Relevant Point

Make sure that your humour drives your message home. For example, you can find a relevant, humorous quote about public speaking or marriage. Just be careful to avoid outdated or offensive jokes that have nothing to do with your main point.

Throw in Inside Jokes and Fun Stories

Including inside jokes and fun stories can make your speech more personal and engaging. However, be sure to provide enough context so that everyone can understand and appreciate the story. You don't want to exclude people who aren't in on the joke.

Practice Your Delivery

Humour is all about delivery. Practice your speech multiple times to get the timing and tone right. Inject energy into your stories, use appropriate gestures, and vary your volume for emphasis. Remember to pause before punchlines and allow time for laughter.

Keep it Light-Hearted

While you want to inject humour, be careful not to go overboard with jokes or sarcasm. You don't want to offend anyone or overshadow the sentiment behind your words. Keep your speech concise, entertaining, and light-hearted.

By following these tips, you'll be well on your way to delivering a hilarious and memorable best man speech that will have the audience laughing and cheering for the happy couple!

Congratulate the couple

Talk about the Bride and Groom

Now that your best mate is married, it's time to talk about the other love in his life – his new bride – and how he met her. Talk about how they met and how, as his best friend, you knew he was smitten and in love. This is also a good opportunity to make fun of him for being soppy or behaving out of character.

This is also the part of the speech where you can be a bit more serious and talk about how amazing the bride is and how happy she makes your best friend. You can even thank the bride, if you feel it is appropriate, for making the groom so happy. If you're in a place to do so (or perhaps it's funnier if you're not) now is also a good time to offer some advice to the bride and groom for the years to come. Keep it light-hearted and funny. No one wants to be told how hard marriage is on their big day.

Compliment the Couple

Once you've exhausted all your jokes and anecdotes about the groom, it's time to pay a few compliments. You can start with the wedding day itself, talking about how fabulous it has been so far and the amount of effort that has gone into the day. You can thank the parents of both the bride and the groom here, but don't go into a long list of thank-yous, as that is the groom's job in his speech.

The Best Man Speech Toast

You'll be glad to hear this is the final element of the best man speech, and you can really afford to relax and be jubilant at this point in the speech as all your nerves should be gone, and you'll be well and truly at ease with public speaking by now.

Much like the conclusion to an essay, you can use this part to quickly summarise the key points from your speech or you can even complete a classic best man's speech joke that you've cleverly woven throughout most of the speech. Feel free to pepper this section with a few well-chosen last jokes to leave your guests feeling happy and upbeat, too.

Your speech should end with a heartfelt toast to the newlyweds. Start with a few hopes and well wishes for the couple and then invite the wedding guests to stand and join you in raising a toast to the happy couple.

Practice beforehand

Practising your speech beforehand is a crucial step in the process of preparing to give a best man speech. While it may be tempting to "wing it" on the day, this is not advisable. Practising will help you become familiar with your speech, identify any sections that may be tricky to deliver, and ensure that your speech stays within the ideal timeframe. Here are some tips to help you make the most of your practice sessions:

• Start practising early: Don't leave practising until the last minute. Give yourself at least a month in advance of the wedding to start practising your speech. This will allow you to make edits and refine your delivery.
• Write out your speech: It is recommended to write out your entire speech, word for word, or create bullet points on cue cards. Having a physical copy of your speech will make it easier to memorise and help you stay on track during your delivery.
• Practice in front of a mirror: Speaking your speech out loud in front of a mirror can help you identify areas where you may stumble over your words and improve your body language and eye contact.
• Time your speech: Keep in mind that the ideal length for a best man speech is around seven to fifteen minutes. Time yourself while practising to ensure that your speech stays within this timeframe.
• Seek feedback: Ask someone else to listen to your speech and provide honest feedback. Choose someone who is not closely related to the bride or groom, such as another groomsman or someone attending the stag do. They can give you an outside perspective and help you refine your speech.
• Avoid overindulging in alcohol: While a drink or two may help calm your nerves, too much alcohol can impair your delivery. Practise your speech while sober to ensure you can deliver it confidently and clearly.
• Don't memorise word-for-word: While it's important to know your speech well, avoid memorising it word-for-word. You want to sound natural and conversational, not robotic. It's okay to deviate from your written speech and ad-lib a bit during your delivery.
• Focus on your introduction and conclusion: Spend extra time practising the beginning and ending of your speech, as these are the parts that guests are most likely to remember. Ensure your introduction captures their attention and your conclusion leaves them with a positive impression.

Frequently asked questions