Specify Adults-Only Wedding Invites: Etiquette And Wording Ideas

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. One way to shorten the guest list is to make the wedding adults-only. While this can be a touchy topic, it is becoming more and more common. The best way to communicate this is to be clear and consistent from the very beginning. This means deciding on an age rule and sticking to it, without making exceptions. It is recommended to spread the word before the invitations arrive, and to address the invitations only to those who are invited. If you're worried that guests won't get the hint, you can include adults only on the wedding invitations, or add a count on the RSVP cards.

Be clear and consistent from the beginning

Deciding on the guest list for your wedding can be a challenging task. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, it's important to be clear and consistent from the very beginning to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips to help you communicate this effectively:

Don't Make Exceptions

It's best to take an "all or nothing" approach when it comes to an adults-only wedding. Avoid picking and choosing which families can bring their children, as this can lead to hurt feelings and offended parents. The only exception is usually made for flower girls, ring bearers, or nursing mothers. If you do plan to include children in your wedding party, be sure to let your other guests know to avoid any misunderstandings.

Be Clear from the Start

Ask your parents, close family, and bridal party to help spread the word discreetly. They can answer questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is on the same page. Creating a wedding website is also a great way to share your plans and details about the adults-only rule from the beginning. You can express your excitement for a child-free celebration while being tactful and considerate of your guests' needs.

Be Smart with Your Wedding Invitations

When addressing your save-the-dates and wedding invitation envelopes, only include the names of the invited guests. Avoid using "and Family" or including children's names. You can also add a line to your RSVP card, such as "We have reserved _____ seat(s) in your honour" to indicate the number of invited guests. This helps to clarify your adults-only rule without explicitly stating it.

Say It on Your Website

Most couples have wedding websites with comprehensive details about their big day. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kidsstate your adults-only rule while expressing your love for your guests' children. You can also provide information for a local babysitting agency or childcare options to assist your guests in making arrangements.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations

Even with your best efforts, you may still receive RSVPs that include uninvited children. In this case, it's important to reach out promptly and politely inform them that the invitation was intended for the parents only. You can cite reasons such as venue constraints, adult-centric activities, or budget limitations. Be prepared for some guests to decline the invitation if they are unable or unwilling to attend without their children.

Remember, it's your special day, and you can choose to celebrate it however you see fit. By being clear and consistent from the beginning, you can help ensure that your guests understand your adults-only wedding plans and make the necessary arrangements.

Don't make exceptions

Deciding on an adults-only wedding can be a tricky topic, but it's becoming more and more common. If you've decided to go down this route, it's important to be clear and consistent from the very beginning. Here are some tips to help you navigate this potentially sensitive issue:

When it comes to an adults-only wedding, it's generally best to take an "all or nothing" approach. Avoid picking and choosing which families can bring their children and which can't. Making exceptions for certain children, such as your adorable niece or your best friend's twins, can hurt feelings and offend parents whose children weren't included. It's best to be firm and consistent with your rule.

There may be a few exceptions to this "no exceptions" rule. For example, if you plan to have a flower girl or ring bearer at the ceremony, you may choose to make an exception for them. You may also consider allowing a nursing mother to bring her infant. However, it's important to limit these exceptions to avoid any potential hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

Be Clear from the Start

It's important to spread the word about your adults-only wedding as early as possible, especially for families that will need to arrange childcare. Ask your parents, close family members, and bridal party to help share this information. While you don't need to make a big announcement, ensuring that your inner circle knows your plans will enable them to answer questions from other guests.

Share it on Your Website

A wedding website is a great way to communicate your adults-only plans from the very beginning. You can include a note expressing your excitement for the wedding day and your desire for guests to have a child-free evening to enjoy themselves. Here's an example: "We know your kids are awesome, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under age 18 on our wedding day."

Be Smart with Your Wedding Invitations

When addressing your wedding invitations, only include the names of the invited guests. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Bradley Aurand" without adding "and Family" or children's names. You can also be more casual and address it to "Mr. Brad and Mrs. Bethann Aurand" or "Bradley and Bethann Aurand".

If you're concerned that this approach won't be clear enough, you can add a line to your RSVP card indicating the number of invited guests. For instance, "We have reserved _____ seat(s) in your honor." This will help prevent any confusion and ensure that your guests understand that children are not included in the invitation.

While it's generally not recommended to put "adults-only" directly on the invitation, if you feel it's necessary, you can include a short and tactful note such as, "This is an adult-only occasion."

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations

Even with clear communication, you may still receive RSVPs that include uninvited children. In these cases, it's best to contact the guests directly and politely let them know that the invitation was only meant for the parents. You can explain your reasons, whether it's the venue, activities, space constraints, or simply your preference for an adult-only event.

Remember, some guests may choose not to attend if they can't bring their children. Respect their decision, whether it's out of spite or a legitimate issue with finding childcare.

Share the information on your wedding website

It is becoming more and more common for couples to opt for an adults-only wedding. However, this can be a tricky topic to navigate, and it's important to be clear and consistent from the very beginning to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips for sharing this information on your wedding website:

Firstly, be tactful and considerate in your wording. Remember that not all your guests will be happy about the adults-only rule, especially those with children. A simple and polite message could be: "We know your kids are awesome, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of 18 [or your chosen age limit] on our wedding day." You could also add a light-hearted touch by saying something like: "We hope you'll understand our decision to make the wedding children-free, and take the opportunity to let your hair down and celebrate."

Another approach is to emphasise that you want your guests to have a fantastic, child-free night out, where they can relax and enjoy themselves without worrying about their kids. You could say something like: "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children." If you wish, you can also cite other reasons such as venue restrictions, budget constraints, or the adult-centric nature of the event.

It's also a good idea to include some practical information for guests with children. For example, you could recommend a local babysitting agency or childcare provider, or even organise a separate room with a childcare service at your venue if possible. This will show your guests that you understand their needs and are trying to help them attend despite the adults-only rule.

Finally, make sure to spread the word through your wedding party and close family. They can help answer any questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is clear about the adults-only rule.

Be smart with your wedding invitations

Deciding on the guest list for your wedding can be a challenging task. You might want everyone you know and love to be there, but budget, space, and sanity constraints can get in the way. One way to trim down the guest list is to make your wedding adults-only. Here are some tips to be smart with your wedding invitations when specifying adults-only:

Be Clear and Consistent

From the very beginning, even before sending out invitations, spread the word that your wedding will be adults-only. Ask your parents, close family, and bridal party to help share this information. This way, they can answer any questions from other guests, and fewer of your guests will be surprised when the invitations arrive.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your save-the-dates and wedding invitation envelopes, only include the names of those who are invited. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," instead of "The Chavez Family." This makes it clear that only the parents are invited, and children are not included.

Specify Number of Guests

If you're concerned that addressing the envelopes won't be enough, you can add a line to your RSVP card indicating the number of invited guests. For example, "We have reserved _____ seat(s) in your honor." This clarifies the number of expected guests and helps avoid any confusion.

Include a Note on the Invitation

While some consider it impolite, you can include a note on the invitation itself if you feel it's necessary. You can add a simple line like "Adult (18 and older) reception to follow" or "Please join us for an adult reception at six o'clock." This makes your intention clear, but be mindful that some guests may not be happy about having to find and pay for childcare.

Share the Information on Your Website

If you have a wedding website, this is another great place to share your adults-only preference. Include an FAQ page and address the question, "Can we bring kids?" You can tactfully express your wishes, such as "We know your kids are awesome, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under age 18 on our wedding day." You can also suggest or provide information for a local babysitting service.

Remember, when deciding on an adults-only wedding, it's essential to be clear, consistent, and tactful in your communication with your guests.

Be prepared for difficult conversations

Deciding on the guest list for your wedding can be a challenging task, especially if you plan to have an adults-only celebration. While it is your decision, you may face some backlash or confusion from guests. Here are some ways to prepare for difficult conversations that may arise when specifying adults-only on your wedding invitations:

Be Clear and Consistent

From the very beginning, be transparent about your adults-only wedding plans. Spread the word early so that guests are not surprised when they receive their invitation. Ask your parents, close family, and bridal party to help share this information with inquiring guests.

Make a Rule and Stick to It

Decide on an "age rule" for your wedding and be firm about it. For example, you may choose to not allow any guests under the age of 16. If you plan to make exceptions, such as including children in the wedding party or allowing infants, decide on this upfront and communicate it clearly.

Address Invitations Properly

When addressing your wedding invitations, only include the names of those who are invited. Avoid adding "and Family" or children's names. You can also add a line to the RSVP card indicating the number of seats reserved for each family. This helps to clarify who is invited and prevents additional guests from being added.

Share on Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is a great platform to communicate your adults-only plans in a tactful and polite manner. You can express your excitement for your upcoming wedding and explain that you want your guests, especially parents, to have a child-free evening to enjoy themselves.

Be Prepared for Confusion or Pushback

Despite your best efforts, some guests may still be confused or upset about the adults-only rule. Expect some inquiries and be ready to respond in a firm but polite manner. You can say something like, "I'm very sorry, but we can't make any exceptions. We still hope you'll be able to join us."

Offer Childcare Assistance

As a considerate gesture, offer to help guests find childcare solutions. You can ask your networks for babysitter recommendations or even hire a babysitting service to watch the children at a separate location within your venue.

Don't Take No-Shows Personally

Understand that some guests may not be able to attend due to childcare issues. Don't take it personally if they can't make it, and focus your energy on celebrating with those who are able to join you on your special day.

Remember, it's your wedding day, and you are allowed to make choices that work best for you and your partner. Communicate your plans clearly, be prepared for potential challenges, and don't be afraid to set boundaries when needed.

Frequently asked questions