Rsvp Etiquette: Wording Your Wedding Response Perfectly

RSVPs are an important part of the wedding planning process. They allow couples to finalise their guest list, create a seating plan, and confirm their budget. When sending out your RSVPs, it's important to include a deadline, a way for guests to indicate their attendance, space for guests to write their names, and any dietary requirements. You may also want to include a fun question, such as a song request. It's also helpful to give your guests plenty of time to respond and to set a deadline for around four to eight weeks before the wedding.

RSVP deadline

The deadline for your RSVP is the most important detail on your RSVP card. This is because it allows you to confirm your guest list, finalise your seating plan, and share the numbers with your caterers and other suppliers.

The deadline should be around four to eight weeks before the wedding day. This gives you enough time to chase any late responses and allows your suppliers to prepare. If you are having a destination wedding, it's a good idea to ask for RSVPs a little earlier (around two months before) to give guests time to confirm travel plans.

When setting your deadline, also consider whether your wedding is mid-week, peak season, or child-free. You may want to give guests extra time to check their diaries and make arrangements.

Make sure your deadline stands out on the card. Often, this means featuring it prominently and making it the largest text. You could also add a playful threat, such as "or we will use at least four forms of communication to hassle you".

• "Kindly reply by [date]"
• "Please respond by [date]"
• "Your reply is kindly requested before [date]"
• "The favour of a response is requested by [date]"
• "Please RSVP no later than [date]"
• "Kindly let us know by [date]"

Guest names

The first thing to include on your RSVP cards is a blank line for guests to write their names. This guarantees that you know who is attending your wedding and that you know how to correctly spell everyone's names for the seating chart.

On a formal RSVP card, you should write "M" at the start of the line to indicate that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Ms. Jane Pearson and Mr. Jason Brown".

If you are using pre-printed names on the RSVP cards, you could add a line after the letter "M" which is designated as the first letter of the title of the first guest (i.e. Mr, Mrs, Ms or Miss). If not all your guest's names begin with "M", you may wish to opt for a more informal style by adding "Name(s)" before the line.

If you are not using pre-printed names, it is important to include both first and last names to avoid confusion, especially if it is a large wedding.

If you are filling out an RSVP card for you and a plus one, include the full name of your plus one so that the host can get a proper headcount and create a personal name card for your guest.

Accept or decline

The primary purpose of an RSVP card is to find out who is coming to your wedding. This means you need to include an attendance line for guests to either accept or decline your invitation. This could be formatted as checkboxes, circles or fill-in-the-blank lines.

• Accepts with pleasure / Declines with regret
• Accepts / Declines
• ▢ Accepts with pleasure ▢ Declines with regret
• ▢ Yes, you will see our/my face(s) ▢ Sorry, we’re/I’m busy that day!
• ▢ Will be there to celebrate ▢ Will be toasting from afar
• ▢ Yes, we’re/I’m beachy keen to attend! ▢ Sorry, we/I can’t make the flight!
• ▢ Yeah, baby! ▢ Dang, we’re/I’m busy!
• ▢ Joyfully accept(s) ▢ Regretfully decline(s)
• ▢ accept(s) with pleasure ▢ decline(s) with regret
• ▢ Will attend ▢ Unable to attend
• ▢ Delighted to attend ▢ Regretfully cannot join you
• ▢ Joyfully accepts ▢ Regretfully declines
• ▢ Can’t Wait! ▢ Can’t Come
• ▢ We Will See You There! ▢ Sorry To Miss Out
• ▢ Let the Good Times Roll! ▢ You’re Going to Have to Carry On Without Me
• ▢ Wouldn’t Miss it For the World ▢ Will Celebrate From Afar
• ▢ Yes! Can’t Wait to Celebrate! ▢ Sad to say…Have to Miss Your Day
• ▢ Don’t Despair, We Will Be There ▢ Sad To Say, We’ll Miss Your Day
• ▢ Wouldn’t Miss It For the World ▢ The World is Not Enough
• ▢ Let’s Get Rowdy! ▢ Show Must Go On Without Me
• ▢ Aw, Yeah! Drinks on Me! ▢ I’ll Be There In Spirit
• ▢ Free booze? Yes, please. ▢ In a nutshell…I’m lame.
• ▢ Only if you’ll be playing “Forever” by Chris Brown ▢ Not even “Call Me Maybe” will entice me

Remember to give your guests a deadline for their response and to include pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelopes if you are sending physical invitations.

Meal preferences

When it comes to meal preferences, it's essential to keep the RSVP cards simple and straightforward. Here are some tips to consider:

Meal Options

Provide clear and concise meal options for your guests to choose from. Instead of listing specific dishes, opt for broader categories such as "beef," "chicken," "fish," or "vegetarian." This gives you flexibility in changing the menu closer to the wedding and prevents overcrowding on the RSVP card.

Initials or Names

Request that guests initial or write their names next to their meal selection. This information will be crucial for place cards or escort cards, ensuring that your caterers know where to place each plate.

Special Requests and Dietary Restrictions

It's important to consider guests with special dietary needs or allergies. Include a line at the bottom of the RSVP card that says, "Dietary requests ______________." This allows guests to specify any restrictions or allergies, such as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or nut allergies.

Children's Meals

If children are invited to the wedding, you may need to provide a separate meal option for them. You can include a children's menu in the invitations sent to families with little ones. Alternatively, you can handle children's meal options separately by contacting the families directly or providing a separate response card for their meal choices.

Pre-ordering and Reminders

If you're offering a set menu with pre-ordered options, consider including the full menu in the invitation or on a separate card. Encourage guests to reply with their meal choices and names. Remember to collect this information for each guest, and you may even want to create personalised individual menu cards for place settings on the big day. It's a good idea to remind guests of their menu choices closer to the wedding date, as they may forget what they selected.

Quantity Limits and Prices

If you're working with a caterer, discuss any quantity limits for specific menu options. Additionally, if there are special or premium menu options, set a price and communicate this clearly to your guests.

Additional requests

The wording of your RSVP card can be formal or informal, depending on the style of your wedding. You can also include fun questions or requests for guests to answer, such as song requests or advice for the newlyweds.

• "What song is sure to get you on the dance floor?"
• "Date ideas for the newlyweds"
• "Any special accommodations or notes about why you're excited for the celebration"
• "What should we pack for our destination wedding?"
• "Your drink of choice to help stock the bar"

If you're having a formal wedding, you might want to use traditional language and formatting on your RSVP card. For example:

• "Kindly respond by [date]"
• "Accepts with pleasure"
• "Regretfully declines"

If you're having an informal wedding, you can use more relaxed and fun language. Here are some examples:

• "Can't wait to hit the dance floor"
• "Will be toasting from afar"
• "Will celebrate in person!"
• "Will celebrate in spirit!"
• "Yes, let's party!"
• "No, and will forever regret this decision"

Remember to include a clear deadline for responses, usually about one month before the wedding, and to provide enough space for guests to include any additional information or requests.

Frequently asked questions