Junior Rasmussen
When you receive a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly to let the couple know whether you'll be celebrating with them. The best way to respond is to send the RSVP card back as soon as possible, but you can also reply in writing or by email if there's no response card. Be sure to include your full name, the number of people attending, and any dietary restrictions. If you're unable to attend, it's polite to respond honestly and send your well wishes.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Response method | Online, by phone, by mail, or in person |
| Response time | As soon as possible |
| Number of guests | Specify the number of people in your party |
| Names of guests | Write out the full name of each guest |
| Honorifics | Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Dr., The Honorable |
| Food choices | Indicate dietary restrictions and meal preferences |
| Well wishes | Include a congratulatory note |
What You'll Learn
How to respond to a wedding invitation without an RSVP card
If you've received a wedding invitation without an RSVP card, it's likely that the wedding hosts have opted to take RSVPs online, or they may have included other instructions, such as a phone number or email address, for how to communicate your acceptance or regrets.
Follow the instructions provided
If the invitation doesn't include a response card, look closely at the invitation for details about how to RSVP. If there is no mention of how to respond, it's best to use the same method that was used to deliver the invitation. For example, if you received a digital invitation, respond digitally.
Respond promptly
It's important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible, even if you can't attend. Wedding planning involves a lot of logistics, and your timely response will help the couple finalise their numbers, create a seating plan, and confirm their budget.
Include your full name(s)
Whether you're responding via a card, email, or online form, always include your full name(s). This is especially important for larger weddings, to avoid any confusion.
Indicate your response and the number of guests attending
Clearly state whether you will be attending or not, and if you've been given a plus one, indicate the number of people in your party.
Provide additional information as requested
If the couple has requested information such as dietary requirements, meal selections, or fun questions like song requests, be sure to include this in your response.
Write a gracious note
Take a few moments to write a personal message to the couple, whether you're accepting or declining the invitation. Thank them for the invitation, send well wishes, and express your excitement for the big day.
> Dear [Couple's Names],
>
> Thank you for inviting us to join your wedding celebration. [Partner's name] and I are happy to accept your invitation to the wedding day and the rehearsal.
>
> In regard to entree choices, we would both prefer [selected entree].
>
> Looking forward to the big day!
>
> Warmly,
> [Your name(s)]
If you need to decline the invitation, it's still proper etiquette to respond via the host's preferred method, and it's considerate to send a gift from their registry. Here is an example of how to decline an invitation:
> Dear [Couple's Names],
>
> Thank you so much for inviting us to join you at your upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend as we will be out of the country on that date. We are sad to miss this special event and will be celebrating with you from afar on your big day.
>
> Sending our love and best wishes. Congratulations!
>
> With love,
> [Your name(s)]
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What to write on a wedding invitation response card
The first duty of a guest is to respond promptly to a wedding invitation. Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation, then make your response as soon as you can. If you cannot make it, the couple will have time to invite someone else.
Formal Response Cards
Most formal wedding invitations will come with an RSVP card and a pre-stamped envelope to send it back in. Fill out the card as soon as you can, including your full name, whether you are coming, whether you are bringing a plus one, and your dietary requirements. You can also add a personal touch with a cute congratulatory note.
> Ms. Mahoney and Mr. Jameson accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Andrews to the wedding reception of their daughter Johanna and Mr. Hannes Yuval on Sunday, March 17th at 2:00 pm.
This is a highly formal and traditional way to accept a wedding invitation, most appropriate when the bride's parents are hosting. Write it out on nice stationery with a good pen and send it by post.
Informal Responses
If the wedding is more low-key, you can personalise your response. Show a good measure of enthusiasm and speak from the heart. Here is a sample informal response:
> Hi guys! So excited for your special day! Of course, we'll be there! Can't wait to see Claire walk down the aisle to the man of her dreams. See you on Friday for a celebratory drink. Big hug, Samantha and Alyssa
Responses on WhatsApp
If you communicate with the couple almost exclusively over WhatsApp, it might seem natural to respond to their invitation in your regular chat. However, be aware that while this is fine for some, it might be considered rude by others. Here is a sample response over WhatsApp:
> Yay! So excited you're getting hitched. Of course, I will be there. My plus one will be Tom.
Declining an Invitation
There are plenty of good reasons why you might not be planning to attend a wedding. Whatever the case, it can feel awkward to have to turn down an invitation. However, as long as you do it tactfully, you should not feel bad about saying you can't attend. Here is a sample formal response to decline an invitation:
> Ms. Mary Mulligan and Mr. Jack Barrows regret that they cannot accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Heatherington for Sunday, 17th October at 2:00 pm.
If one person can attend and the other cannot, you can make this clear in your response:
> Mr. Jack Barrows gladly accepts the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Heatherington for Sunday, 17th October at 2:00 pm. Ms. Mary Mulligan regrets that she will not be able to attend.
Funny Responses
If the couple has a good sense of humour, they will appreciate a funny response to their wedding invitation. Here is a sample funny response:
> I could have sworn you guys were already married. Just kidding, can't wait. Mary and I will be there on Sunday, March 8th at 2:00 pm.
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How to respond to a wedding invitation by email
Responding to a wedding invitation by email is often more casual than a written response, but it's still important to be thoughtful and considerate in your reply. Here are some guidelines on how to respond appropriately and with care:
Promptness is Key
It's important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. The couple will be busy planning their big day, and an early response will help them finalise numbers for catering and venue arrangements. It's also courteous to check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation before replying. This way, you can confirm your attendance or regret promptly, allowing the couple to invite someone else if needed.
Formal or Informal
The tone of your email response should generally match the style of the invitation. If the invitation is formal, with a traditional postal address, a more formal email reply is appropriate. Write in the third person and follow the wording of the invitation. For example:
> "Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure [or regret that they are unable to accept] your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June."
If the invitation includes email addresses and phone numbers, or is sent via WhatsApp, a more informal and casual reply is usually fine. This is especially true if you know the couple well. Write in the first person and add a touch of humour or a personal touch. For example:
> "Dear Jane and John,
> We are thrilled to accept your invitation and can't wait to celebrate your special day with you! See you on the dance floor!
> Love,
> Alice and Bob"
Split Acceptance/Regret
If you've been invited as a group, but not everyone can attend, it's important to clarify who will be present. In a formal email, you can use a split acceptance/regret format:
> "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
>
> Alice accepts with pleasure
> for Saturday, the twentieth of May.
>
> Bob regrets that he is unable to attend."
For an informal invitation, you can simply mention the names of those attending in your email:
> "Hi Jane and John,
> Alice is so excited to celebrate with you, but unfortunately, Bob won't be able to make it. He will be there in spirit, cheering you on from afar!"
Declining an Invitation
If you can't attend, it's still important to respond promptly and politely. You don't need to provide a detailed explanation, especially for a formal invitation. Simply express your regret at not being able to attend and send your well wishes. For example:
> "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
> I regret that I am unable to accept your kind invitation for Saturday, the twentieth of May. Please accept my best wishes for a wonderful celebration."
For an informal invitation, you can be more casual and add a brief explanation if you wish:
> "Hey Jane and John,
> I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make it to your wedding. I have a prior engagement that weekend. I hope you understand, and I wish you both all the best for your special day!"
Remember, whether responding formally or informally, always ensure your email is sent with warmth and well wishes for the happy couple!
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How to respond to a wedding invitation by text
Responding to a wedding invitation requires grace and etiquette. Whether the invitation is formal or casual, traditional or modern, it is important to respond in a timely, clear and respectful manner. Here is a guide on how to respond to a wedding invitation by text:
Understanding the Invitation
The wedding invitation is a reflection of the couple's style and the type of ceremony they are planning. Whether it is formal or informal, your response should match its style. Check the invitation for any specific RSVP instructions and respond promptly to allow the couple to plan accordingly.
Responding to a Formal Invitation
A formal wedding invitation typically requires a formal response. This means addressing the hosts and stating whether you will attend or not, including the names of those attending, and being mindful of typos and double-checking the date and venue. For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.
Responding to an Informal Invitation
Informal wedding invitations allow for a less structured response. However, it is still important to be clear and respectful. When responding by text, mention who you are, whether you plan to attend, and if allowed, who will accompany you. For example:
> You: Hi [Host's Name], I received your wedding invitation. Thank you for inviting me! It sounds like a fantastic celebration.
>
> Host: You're welcome! We hope you can make it. Will you be able to attend?
>
> You: I'd love to attend! Please count me in. Looking forward to celebrating with you both!
>
> Host: That's great to hear! We're excited to have you. See you on [Date]!
>
> You: Can't wait! Thanks again for inviting me.
Declining an Invitation
If you need to decline the invitation, it is important to do so respectfully and considerately. Express your regret and thank the couple for their invitation. Briefly explain your reason for not being able to attend and wish them well. For example:
> Dear [Couple's Names],
>
> I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to extend my heartfelt thanks for inviting me to your upcoming wedding. It truly means a lot to me that you thought of me on this special occasion. Regrettably, due to prior commitments, I won't be able to attend your wedding. Please accept my sincere apologies for not being able to join in your joyous celebration. I wish you both all the happiness in the world as you start this new chapter in your lives.
>
> I'm sure it will be a beautiful day, and I'll be celebrating with you from afar. Thank you once again for thinking of me, and I hope our paths cross soon.
>
> Warm regards, [Your Name]
Additional Tips
- Respond promptly, ideally within two to three weeks or by the specified deadline.
- Read the invitation carefully and include essential information such as your name(s), attendance confirmation, and the number of guests attending.
- Politely decline if necessary and briefly explain your reason for not being able to attend.
- Accept with enthusiasm and gratitude if you can attend.
- Indicate plus-one intentions if allowed and include their names and relationship, if known.
- For destination weddings, inform the couple of your attendance plans and coordinate travel details.
- Communicate any changes to your response promptly.
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How to respond to a wedding invitation you don't plan to attend
It is never fun to have to decline a wedding invitation, but sometimes it is necessary. Here is a guide on how to respond to a wedding invitation when you know you won't be attending.
First, take a few days to think about it. You don't want to rush into a decision, and the couple will appreciate that you gave their invitation thoughtful consideration. If you are not close with the couple, an RSVP card with a short, polite note wishing them well will likely suffice. However, if you are close to the couple, it is best to break the news over the phone or in person, and follow up with a written decline.
When you do decline, be sure to thank the couple for inviting you. This is non-negotiable! You can be honest about your reasons for not attending, or keep it vague with a simple "unfortunately, I have prior commitments on that date." If you are comfortable sharing, you can explain that you are struggling financially, or that you are uncomfortable because your ex will be there.
It is also a nice gesture to follow up with a call or message, especially if you don't know the couple well. This shows that you are genuinely disappointed that you can't make it and helps to diffuse any potential awkwardness. You could also send a gift or a bottle of champagne to be enjoyed on the day, or take the couple out for a celebratory drink after their honeymoon.
- "Thank you for thinking of me. I'm so sorry to tell you that I won't be able to attend, but please accept my warmest congratulations."
- "I would love to attend, but I have prior commitments on that date."
- "Thank you so much for the invitation, it means a great deal."
- "Regrettably, I won't be able to attend the wedding due to conflicting commitments."
- "We would love to celebrate with you but unfortunately, we can't make it work."
Remember, it is important to respond promptly so that the couple has time to invite someone else if they wish. Don't leave it until the last minute!
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Frequently asked questions
It's best to err on the side of formality. You can respond with something like, "Thank you for inviting us to your wedding. We would be delighted to attend."
You should include the names of the people who are attending, a phone number or email address, and any dietary requirements or allergies.
There's no need to make up an excuse. Simply respond as soon as possible with something like, "Thank you for inviting us, but we will unfortunately be unable to attend."
