Wedding Invite Etiquette: Addressing Guests With Style

Addressing wedding invitations can be a tricky task, but it's important to get it right to avoid offending your guests. The traditional way to address a married couple is to use their titles (Mr. and Mrs.) and the husband's full name, but this is now seen as old-fashioned and even offensive by some. A more modern approach is to include both spouses' full names, either on the same line or on separate lines. When addressing unmarried couples, same-sex couples, or individuals, there are specific rules to follow as well. It's also important to consider whether to use formal titles and how to indicate the presence of children or plus-ones.

Addressing married couples with the same last name

When addressing wedding invites to married couples with the same last name, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the traditional format for a heterosexual couple is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". However, for modern couples, this may not be preferred, and it is also important to consider whether the couple is sensitive to this format. An alternative format that includes the wife's name is "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

When addressing the inner envelope, you can drop the first names and use "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names, for example, "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are addressing a same-sex couple with the same last name, the format is similar. Either name can go first, followed by their partner's name. For example, "Mr. and Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Smith".

It is important to remember that the outer envelope is more formal, and you should use the recipient's full name and title. The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out elements of the formal name format, such as using only first names.

Addressing married couples with different last names

When addressing wedding invites to married couples with different last names, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. For a formal invitation, the outer envelope should include the couple's full names, with each name on a separate line. The woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately, for example:

> Ms. Maria Stevens

> Mr. David Estevez

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or just their surnames, for example:

> Maria and David

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez

If you are inviting a same-sex couple with different last names, the same rules apply. List their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines on the outer envelope and use their first names or surnames on the inner envelope.

It's important to note that these are just guidelines, and you can choose to address the invitations in a more modern or casual way, such as using only first and last names without titles.

Addressing unmarried couples

When addressing unmarried couples living at the same address, there are a few options to consider. The first option is to list the names of the couple on separate lines, with the person you are closest to, or know the best, listed first. If you know both parties equally well, you can list the names in alphabetical order.

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

The second option is to list both names on the same line, again with the person you are closest to, or know the best, listed first. If you are equally close to both, you can list the names in alphabetical order.

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

It is important to note that the use of "and" between the names of unmarried couples is a matter of preference. Traditionally, the "and" signifies marriage, but modern couples may still choose to use it to signify their union.

Additionally, when addressing unmarried couples, it is customary to use "Ms." or "Miss" for single women, and "Mr." for single men. However, if the unmarried couple does not live together, it is recommended to send separate invitations to each guest.

Addressing single individuals

When addressing wedding invitations to single individuals, the rules vary depending on the gender and age of the guest, as well as whether they are bringing a plus-one. Here are some guidelines to follow:

For a single woman, use "Ms." if she is 18 or older. If she is younger, "Miss" is more acceptable, and should be spelled out rather than abbreviated. If the single woman has been given a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply use "and guest" on the inner envelope.

Example without a plus-one:

On the outer envelope: Ms. Ali Johnson

On the inner envelope: Ms. Johnson

Example with a plus-one:

On the outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen

On the inner envelope: Ms. Chen and guest, or Stephanie and guest

For a single man, use "Mr." if he is 18 or older. If he is younger, no title is necessary. If the single man has been offered a plus-one, don't indicate this on the outer envelope. Use "and guest" on the inner envelope.

Example without a plus-one:

On the outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery

On the inner envelope: Mr. Montgomery, or James

Example with a plus-one:

On the outer envelope: Mr. George Costanza

On the inner envelope: Mr. Costanza and guest, or George and guest

If your guest identifies as non-binary, you can use the honorific "Mx." If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to ask them directly.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Mx. Sam Li

On the inner envelope: Sam Li, or Sam and guest

For a widowed woman, it is best to inquire if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows may also prefer to use "Ms."

Example:

On the outer envelope: Mrs. Olivia Yarrow (married name) or Mrs. Richard Yarrow (husband's name)

On the inner envelope: Mrs. Yarrow

Similar options exist for divorced women. You can use "Ms." or "Mrs." followed by either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon or Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway

On the inner envelope: Mrs./Ms. Lyon or Mrs./Ms. Holloway

If your single guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name.

Example:

On the outer envelope: The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor

On the inner envelope: Judge Sotomayor

If your single guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name.

Example:

On the outer envelope: Father Damien Karras

On the inner envelope: Father Karras

When addressing the inner envelope, you can either use titles + last names or first names only (if you are very close with the individual).

Addressing families

When addressing wedding invitations to families, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you want to invite the entire family, you can simply address the envelope to "The [Family Name]" or "The [Family Name] Family". This implies that all family members, including children, are invited to the wedding.

If you only want to invite specific family members, such as the parents and not the children, you can list the names of each family member individually. Start with the parent or parents' names, followed by the names of the invited children in order of age. For girls under the age of 18, you can use "Miss" as a title, while boys under the age of 16 do not need a title. Here is an example:

"Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham

Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"

It is important to note that if you do not include the children's names, it may be implied that they are not invited. However, some guests may still assume that their children are welcome, so it is a good idea to specify on your wedding website or through word of mouth that the wedding will be adults-only.

When addressing families with children over the age of 18, it is recommended to send separate invitations to each adult child, even if they live at home with their parents. You can use their full formal names on the outer envelope and their titles ("Mr." or "Ms.") with their last name on the inner envelope.

For married couples within the family, you have a few options for addressing the invitations. Traditionally, you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. However, a more modern approach is to list both spouses' full names, with the person you are closest to or the woman's name appearing first. For example:

"Mr. and Mrs. John and Emily Perkins" or "Mr. Mike Smith and Mrs. Samantha Wise"

If the married couple has different last names, you can list each person's full name with "and" between the names to indicate that they are married.

For unmarried couples living together, follow a similar format but list each person's name on a separate line, with the person you are closest to appearing first.

When addressing a widow, it is best to inquire about their preferred form of address. They may prefer to use their first name followed by their married last name or their husband's full name. If you are unsure, it is safer to use their full name.

Same-sex couples can be addressed using the same guidelines as opposite-sex couples. If they are married, list both names on the same line, and if they have different last names, list the names alphabetically or based on closeness.

When addressing doctors within the family, use "Doctor" or "Doctors" before listing their names together on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can use the "Dr." abbreviation or simply state "Doctors" followed by their last name.

Remember to use full names and avoid abbreviations on the outer envelope, including middle names if possible. The inner envelope can be more informal, with first names and nicknames being acceptable.

Frequently asked questions