Ring Bearer: A Wedding Role Explained

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young children, who are usually related to or very close with the bride and groom. They are responsible for carrying the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, usually on a pillow, and giving them to the best man or wedding officiant. The ring bearer is often a boy, but girls can also take on this role. They are usually between the ages of three and ten, but some sources say that children up to the age of 10 can also be ring bearers. The ring bearer is one of the youngest members of the wedding party and often enters the ceremony after the groomsmen and bridesmaids, alongside the flower girl.

Who can be a ring bearer?

A ring bearer is a role traditionally given to a young boy, usually between the ages of two and eight. However, this role is not limited to young boys and can be performed by anyone, including girls, non-binary individuals, adults, and even pets.

If you're sticking to tradition, the ring bearer is usually a young family member such as the nephew of the bride, godchild of the groom, younger sibling, or second cousin. They can also be the child of the maid of honour, best man, or other close friends. If the couple has children, the role of ring bearer can be a sweet way to include them in the wedding.

For those who don't want to involve children in their wedding, a recent trend is to have an adult friend or family member as the ring bearer. This could be a grandparent or even your pet! Having a pet as a ring bearer adds a unique and memorable touch to the wedding.

It's important to note that the ring bearer role is not restricted by gender. The ring bearer can be a boy, girl, or non-binary individual. So, if you're wondering if it's weird to have a girl as a ring bearer, the answer is absolutely not! In fact, it's becoming increasingly common to see female ring bearers, also known as "ring girls".

Ultimately, the choice of ring bearer is up to the couple. It's an honour to be chosen for this role, as it means the couple wants to involve that person (or pet!) more intimately in their special day.

What does a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer is one of the youngest members of the wedding party and is usually a boy between the ages of three and eight. However, this is not set in stone, and girls can be ring bearers, too.

When deciding what a ring bearer should wear, it is important to keep the formality of the wedding in mind. Traditionally, a ring bearer wears a miniature version of the groom's suit or tuxedo, or the groomsmen's suits or tuxedos. This can include a miniature tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs, and cufflinks.

If the bride and groom want the groom to stand out, the ring bearer can wear the same outfit and accessories as the groomsmen. In this case, the groomsmen's accessories often match the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses.

If the ring bearer is too small for a tuxedo, another option is to dress them in trousers, a shirt, a bow tie, suspenders, and shoes.

The child's parents typically pay for the ring bearer's outfit, but the bride and groom may opt to purchase the outfit as a gift.

What does a ring bearer do?

A ring bearer is one of the wedding party's youngest members, usually between the ages of three and ten. They are typically boys with close ties to the bride and groom, such as the son of a close friend or relative. However, this role can be performed by girls as well. The ring bearer walks down the aisle after the groomsmen and bridesmaids, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow, and hands them to the newlyweds.

The ring bearer's role is crucial, and it is one of the most adorable parts of the ceremony. However, it can also go wrong, so it is important to choose the right child for this role and prepare them well. The ring bearer should be someone who is comfortable with the bride and groom and can follow directions.

The ring bearer's duties include walking down the aisle with the ring bearer pillow, presenting the wedding rings to the bride and groom, and waiting at the front until the officiant finishes speaking. The ring bearer may also be included in the reception, although this is not required.

It is worth noting that the ring bearer does not have to carry the real wedding rings. Most couples choose to have the best man carry the actual rings to avoid any mishaps. The ring bearer can carry fake rings, or even a sign, banner, or basket instead.

How to choose a ring bearer?

Choosing a ring bearer is an important part of wedding planning. Here are some tips to help you select the perfect one:

Decide if you want children at your wedding

Firstly, you need to decide if you want children at your wedding at all. If you opt for a child-free guest list, you can still have a ring bearer and/or flower girl. However, if you do want children at your wedding, this will open up a lot more options for potential ring bearers.

Choose an appropriate age

If you decide to have children at your wedding, the next step is to choose an appropriate age for your ring bearer. Traditionally, ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight. Younger children may be shy or nervous walking down the aisle, and are more likely to be unpredictable. Older children may be more comfortable and better able to handle the responsibility of carrying the rings. However, this is not a hard-and-fast rule, and you can choose whoever you think will enjoy the role, regardless of their age.

Create a list of potential ring bearers

If you have your own children, or your siblings or close friends do, they could be good candidates for ring bearer. The ring bearer is usually someone that the couple is close to and has a good relationship with, such as the child of an honour attendant, family member, or close friend. If you are having trouble deciding between several potential ring bearers, consider who has been in a wedding before and who hasn't, and give someone new a chance to shine.

Ask the parents

If you choose a child for the ring bearer, be sure to get permission from their parents first and ask if they are willing to take on the responsibility. The parents will have a lot of behind-the-scenes work to do, including purchasing the child's wedding attire, preparing them for the day, and handling any meltdowns. If the child is old enough, it's also a good idea to talk to them and see if they would like to be a ring bearer, allowing them to make their own decision.

Decide on the details

Once you've chosen your ring bearer, there are a few more things to consider. Firstly, what will they wear? The ring bearer's outfit should be consistent with the wedding party and match the level of formality. It's also traditional for the ring bearer to carry the rings on a pillow or in a box, but you can get creative here if you want. Finally, don't forget to invite your ring bearer to the rehearsal and the reception (unless it's child-free).

Does a ring bearer carry the real rings?

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to young boys who are related to or very close with the bride and groom. The child precedes the bride down the aisle, often walking at the same time as the flower girl, and usually carries the wedding rings on a pillow. The ring bearer passes the rings to the best man, best woman, or another person of honour, who holds them until the couple is ready to exchange rings.

The tradition of a ring bearer is believed to have originated in Ancient Egypt, where young boys would carry treasured jewels on ornamental pillows during wedding ceremonies and other celebrations. In the Medieval era, a young child would carry the rings on a pillow to display wealth, as pillows were considered a rare luxury.

Today, the decision to have a ring bearer carry the real wedding rings or fake rings is entirely up to the couple. While it is customary for the ring bearer to carry the rings, most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings as a precaution. This is especially true if the ring bearer is very young and might put things in their mouth. In such cases, they may carry an empty pillow or a decorative sign, or plastic rings tied to a ribbon on the pillow for the full effect.

If the couple chooses to have the ring bearer carry the real rings, it is recommended to give them to the ring bearer right before the ceremony to reduce the risk of losing them. Ultimately, the decision should be based on the child's age and maturity level.

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